The female orgasm has a reputation for being rarer and more complex to trigger than its male counterpart. It would therefore seem that men have an easier time giving themselves pleasure than women. However, according to statistics, lesbian couples are those who have the most orgasms. In addition, the female orgasm lasts about 20 seconds compared to 6 seconds for men. It is therefore not biology that makes female pleasure more opaque, but rather centuries of sexual repression and censorship. We have decided to tip the scales in our favor and restore justice to female pleasure with our best advice for reclaiming it.
How does the pleasure surge work?
Enjoy, get off, go to seventh heaven, enjoy... we have a flowery vocabulary to describe pleasure that has many names. It's time to investigate how it works. Spoiler alert: the brain is in charge. 🧠
It is a complex process that involves both physiological responses and subjective experiences to create a feeling of well-being and satisfaction.
When our senses are pleasantly stimulated, signals are sent through the nerves to the brain . They are processed by different regions such as the sensory cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex. They are responsible for interpreting and evaluating these sensations.
To understand the different stages that prepare for ultimate pleasure, aka orgasm, imagine the body as a roller coaster. 🎢
1️⃣ During theexcitement stage, there is an increase in blood flow to the most intimate parts, accompanied by a delicious thrill throughout the body.
2️⃣ Phase 2, the plateau . You are at the top of the ride and the stimulation intensifies. The built-up sexual tension triggers muscle contractions in the pelvic region, including the vagina, uterus and pelvic floor.
3️⃣ Finally, we hit the pleasure slope. These muscle contractions become more intense and spread throughout the body, leading to a release of feel-good hormones like dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, and oxytocin.
It is precisely these hormones that are responsible for the level of pleasure felt . ✨
Factors that influence female pleasure
Stimulation of the senses 👅
The quality and intensity of sensory stimulation, such as touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing, can have a significant impact on sensations. Pleasurable stimuli can trigger physiological and emotional responses that contribute to pleasure.
The direct environment 🍃
The context in which stimulation occurs is an often overlooked factor in these types of lists. A comfortable, safe, and intimate context promotes more intense and satisfying experiences.
The state of our emotions ❤️
A person's emotions and state of mind can have a major impact on their ability to experience pleasure. Stress, anxiety, and other negative emotional factors can inhibit pleasure, while positive emotions such as confidence, relaxation, and excitement can promote it.
The thoughts that inhabit our mind 🌪️
Physiological factors such as general health, hormone levels, nerve sensitivity , and neurotransmitter responsiveness can influence a person's ability to experience pleasure.
The level of self-knowledge 🪞
A better understanding of one's own preferences, limits and erogenous zones can help maximize pleasure. Asserting one's desire, far from feelings of shame or guilt , is the path to a life full of pleasure.
Past experiences 🔙
Your sexual history and past experiences shape your relationship with pleasure . Whether through positive or negative experiences, they influence your expectations, your limits and the scenarios that are triggered in our minds.
The quality of connection with the other ⚡
When the quest for pleasure is done as a couple, the level of intimacy and connection is closely linked to the pleasure felt. Trust, open communication and complicity with your partner contribute to more fun under the sheets.
The menstrual cycle 🩸
Hormonal fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle and throughout life impact libido as much as the pleasure felt. Understanding these hormonal variations helps us anticipate and better appreciate changes in our sexual responses . This is why it is important to track your cycle to better understand how your desire fluctuates.
Go through the body to enjoy freely
Redefining pleasure by yourself and for yourself
Many of the ideas we have inherited about female pleasure are unfounded and even scientifically inaccurate . For example, the idea that a vaginal orgasm is superior to a clitoral orgasm or that women's desire is not as strong as men's.
It is therefore up to us to take back control of pleasure and to set out to discover what makes us vibrate. 🧭
There is nothing better than going through the body to silence the injunctions to performance and perfect sexuality that weigh on our minds.
To start the wonderful adventure of self-exploration, we recommend masturbation. Surprising, right?
You can try pleasuring yourself with your fingers or with sex toys . The idea is to take your time to find the perfect sensations, rhythm and intensity that make you shiver.You can slip into a cozy atmosphere, close your eyes and connect to your senses . If being fully present in silence proves to be a challenge, you can call upon the many erotic media available to accompany you. Reading, ethical pornography or even audio podcasts , you are spoiled for choice. 😉
Finding your favorite erogenous zones
Self-discovery also allows you to identify your body's own erogenous zones. An erogenous zone is a region of the human body that is particularly sensitive thanks to a dense network of nerves and blood vessels. When stimulated correctly, it can send you straight to seventh heaven.
Some of them are common to all , like the mouth or the neck, while others are specific to each individual . Some love the breath in the hollow of the neck while others prefer to caress them on the inside of the thighs. 🔥
For women, the main erogenous zones are the clitoris, vulva and vagina . There are also secondary erogenous regions that can trigger quite strong sexual arousal. Examples include the anus, pubis, breasts and armpits.
As for the other erogenous regions, their role is not to make you come, but to activate excitement . They are your best allies to start or rekindle the flame during a moment of intimacy alone or as a couple.
Treat yourself to the luxury of caressing your body with your fingers, with a feather and why not with an ice cube, and stay tuned . Which areas are sending you signals of pleasure? Remap your pleasure according to your arousal levels . Sometimes, still cold, nipple stimulation only causes tickles, while when triggered at the right time, it can quickly increase pleasure tenfold. 🙌
Anchoring in the breath
Grounding yourself in your body through your breath can truly transform your sexual experience into something magical! By focusing on your breathing, you connect deeply with your body and its sensations by getting rid of the mental barrier. Here are two exercises to put our advice into practice as soon as you close the tab. 🌬️
Abdominal breathing
Inhale deeply through your nose, inflating your belly as much as possible, then exhale slowly through your mouth, contracting your abdominal muscles. This breathing technique promotes relaxation and helps release tension, which can make the sensations more pleasurable and intense during sex.
Synchronized breathing
It involves synchronizing breathing with body movements. For example, during sex, you can inhale deeply while making an upward movement, then exhale slowly while accompanying a downward movement. This breathing technique helps maintain a continuous flow of energy in the body, which can amplify feelings of pleasure and promote more intense orgasms.
Did you like these exercises? Check out our article entirely dedicated to the link between pleasure and breathing. 🔍
Our best tips to increase your pleasure
Freeing yourself from orgasm at all costs
To maximize our pleasure, let us free ourselves from the idea that sexual intercourse is not successful without orgasm. No, climax is not an end in itself.
Sure, it's great when we finish with shaky knees, but putting too much pressure on that goal can ruin the moment. Instead, focus on the journey rather than the destination . ⛵
Let's learn to appreciate every sensation , every intimate moment alone or with our partner, without putting pressure on ourselves to achieve results.
Let's listen to what makes us vibrate in the present moment. By adopting a more relaxed and positive attitude, we intensify our pleasure in addition to enriching our sex life. We told you: tackling taboos is only good! 🎉
Testing new practices
Let's move away from the traditional foreplay → sex → orgasm → end to explore practices that allow female pleasure to flourish.
Slow sex
Slow sex is one of the most widespread practices today to make the moment of pleasure more intense. We are too used to a performative and "hard" vision of sexuality. What if the best way to enjoy was to slow down the pace ? 🌱
The philosophy of slow sex is part of the broader movement of positive sexuality . By moving away from performance and orgasm at all costs, this approach tinged with personal development refocuses us on our body, our emotions and the connection with ourselves as well as with our lover.
The edging
Another technique to increase pleasure, another anglicism. Edging describes a sexual practice focused on controlling orgasm . Often seen as a professional practice, the principle of edging is actually simple. You provoke intense excitement until you feel on the verge of orgasm . Stop there, let the excitement subside before continuing.
Edging is safe as long as you limit yourself to intentionally holding back your orgasm . In some cases of BDSM practices, it can be more dangerous for men when orgasm control hinders blood flow. But for us, no problem. Multiple orgasms and perhaps the title of squirting woman are yours!
If you're interested in walking the fine line between pleasure and enjoyment, we highly recommend trying it alone first. 🙋♀️
Test the winning combo vibrator + lubricant
If your goal is to increase your pleasure alone, then the vibrator and lubricant combo is your best ally. That's why we created a female masturbation kit ,
The advantage of using these two products is that you benefit from the softness of the gel but also from the incredible sensations that your Coco or your Chouchou give you thanks to its vibrating effects.
To enhance your pleasure on your own , start by exploring your sex with your fingers, going very gently. We repeat: the goal is to please yourself and not to participate in a race for performance. So savor every moment as best you can.💫
Then the lubricant comes into play . It makes the vibrator more flexible and softer and facilitates masturbation without irritating the vulva . As soon as you have applied your hazelnut, you just have totake your vibrator , turn it on and head towards your erogenous zones, your lips or your clitoris. We recommend that you start with the first vibration level , and increase it gradually. 📈
We hope that this complete guide has helped you find your way back to your own feminine pleasure . Implement our advice little by little in your practices and do not hesitate to keep a journal or keep track of the evolution of your relationship with your body and your sensations. To go even further in the affirmation of your kiff , we advise you to concoct your own sexual menu . You will see, it's rather fun! 🍕