Our keys to reclaiming female pleasure

Female orgasm is reputed to be rarer and more complex to achieve than its male counterpart. It would therefore seem that men find it easier to experience pleasure than women.

However, according to statistics from the Kinsey Institute , lesbian couples have the most orgasms. Furthermore, female orgasm lasts approximately 20 seconds compared to 6 seconds for men .

It's not biology that makes female pleasure more opaque, but rather centuries of sexual repression and censorship. We've decided to tip the scales in our favor and restore justice to female pleasure with our best advice for reclaiming it.

The information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice. If you experience pain, discomfort, or have any questions related to your sexual health, consult a healthcare professional.

How does the rise of pleasure work?

To enjoy, to have a blast, to reach seventh heaven, to be in heaven... we have a colorful vocabulary to describe pleasure, which has many names. It's time to investigate how it works. Spoiler alert: the brain is in control.

It is a complex process that involves both physiological responses and subjective experiences to create a feeling of well-being and satisfaction.

When our senses are pleasantly stimulated, signals are sent by nerves to the brain. These signals are processed by different regions, such as the sensory cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex. These regions are responsible for interpreting and evaluating these sensations.

To understand the different stages that lead to ultimate pleasure, aka orgasm, imagine the body as a roller coaster.

1. During the arousal stage , there is an increase in blood flow to the intimate parts , accompanied by a delightful shiver throughout the body.

2. Phase 2, the plateau. You are at the peak of the ride and the stimulation intensifies. The accumulated sexual tension triggers muscle contractions in the pelvic region, including the vagina, uterus and pelvic floor .

3. Finally, we descend the slope of pleasure. These muscle contractions become more intense and spread throughout the body, leading to a release of feel-good hormones like dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, and oxytocin.

It is precisely these hormones that are responsible for the level of pleasure felt.

A literature review by Inserm confirms that hormonal variations during the menstrual cycle influence sensitivity to pleasure, libido and sexual response.

What factors influence female pleasure?

Sensory stimulation

The quality and intensity of sensory stimulation, such as touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing , can significantly impact sensations. Pleasant stimuli can trigger physiological and emotional responses that contribute to enjoyment.

The immediate environment

The context in which stimulation occurs is a factor often overlooked in these types of lists. A comfortable, safe, and intimate setting promotes more intense and satisfying experiences.

The state of our emotions

A person's emotions and state of mind can have a major impact on their ability to experience pleasure. Stress , anxiety, and other negative emotional factors can inhibit pleasure, while positive emotions such as confidence, relaxation, and excitement can promote it.

The thoughts that inhabit our mind

Physiological factors such as general health, hormone levels, nerve sensitivity, and neurotransmitter reactivity can influence a person's ability to experience pleasure.

The level of self-knowledge

A better understanding of one's own preferences, limits, and erogenous zones can help maximize pleasure. Asserting oneself in one's desires, free from feelings of shame or guilt, is the path to a life full of enjoyment.

Past experiences

Your sexual history and past experiences shape your relationship with pleasure. Whether through positive or negative experiences, they influence your expectations, your boundaries, and the scenarios that play out in your mind.

The complicity with your partner

When pleasure is sought together, the level of intimacy and connection is closely linked to the pleasure experienced. Trust, open communication , and complicity with one's partner contribute to greater enjoyment in the bedroom.

The menstrual cycle

Hormonal fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle and throughout life impact libido as much as the pleasure experienced. Understanding these hormonal variations helps us anticipate and better appreciate changes in our sexual responses. That's why it's important to track your cycle to better understand how your desire fluctuates.

Our tips for reaching orgasm

Redefining pleasure by oneself and for oneself

Many of the ideas we've inherited about female pleasure are unfounded and even scientifically inaccurate. For example, the idea that a vaginal orgasm is more powerful than a clitoral orgasm , or that women's desire isn't as strong as men's.

It is therefore up to us to regain control over our pleasure and to set out to discover what makes us feel alive.

There is nothing better than using the body to silence the demands for performance and perfect sexuality that weigh on our minds.

To embark on the wonderful adventure of self-exploration, we recommend masturbation . Surprising, isn't it?

You can try pleasuring yourself with your fingers or with sex toys . The idea is to take your time to find the perfect sensations, rhythm, and intensity that give you goosebumps.

You can slip into a cozy atmosphere, close your eyes, and connect with your senses. If being fully present in silence proves challenging, you can turn to the many erotic media available to guide you. From books and ethical pornography to audio podcasts , you're spoiled for choice.

Finding your favorite erogenous zones

Self-discovery also allows you to identify the erogenous zones specific to your body .

An erogenous zone is a region of the human body that is particularly sensitive thanks to a dense network of nerves and blood vessels. When stimulated correctly, it can send you straight to seventh heaven.

Some of these are common to everyone, like the mouth or the neck, while others are specific to each individual . Some people love having their breath on the nape of the neck, while others prefer caresses on the inside of the thighs.

For women, the main erogenous zones are the clitoris , the vulva and the vagina .

There are also secondary erogenous zones that can trigger quite strong sexual arousal. These include the anus , pubic area, breasts , and armpits, for example.

As for the other erogenous zones, their role is not to bring you to orgasm, but to activate arousal. They are your best allies for starting or rekindling the flame during a moment of intimacy, alone or with a partner.

Indulge in the luxury of caressing your body with your fingers, a feather, or even an ice cube, and pay close attention. Which areas send you signals of pleasure? Remap your pleasure according to your levels of arousal.

Anchoring oneself in the breath

Grounding yourself in your body through your breath can truly transform your sexual experience into something magical! By focusing on your breathing, you connect deeply with your body and its sensations, letting go of mental barriers. Here are two exercises to put our advice into practice as soon as you close this tab.

Abdominal breathing

Inhale deeply through your nose, expanding your abdomen as much as possible, then exhale slowly through your mouth while contracting your abdominal muscles. This breathing technique promotes relaxation and helps release tension, which can make sensations more pleasurable and intense during sexual intercourse.

Synchronized breathing

It involves synchronizing breathing with body movements . For example, during sexual activity, one can inhale deeply while making an upward movement, then exhale slowly while moving downward. This breathing technique helps maintain a continuous flow of energy in the body, which can amplify sensations of pleasure and promote more intense orgasms. 

Our best tips to multiply your pleasure tenfold

Freeing oneself from orgasm at all costs

To maximize your pleasure, let go of the idea that sex isn't successful without orgasm. No, climax isn't an end in itself.

Of course, it's great when we finish with shaky knees, but putting too much pressure on that goal can ruin the moment. Instead, focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Let's learn to appreciate every sensation, every intimate moment alone or with our partner, without putting pressure on ourselves to achieve a result.

Let's listen to what excites us in the present moment. By adopting a more relaxed and positive attitude, we intensify our pleasure and enrich our sex life. We told you: challenging taboos has only positive effects!

Testing new practices

Let's break away from the traditional pattern: foreplay → sex → orgasm → end to explore more fun practices!

Slow sex

Slow sex is one of the most widespread practices today for making the moment of pleasure more intense. We're too used to a performance-driven and "hardcore" view of sexuality. What if the best way to experience pleasure was to slow down the pace?

The philosophy of slow sex is part of the broader movement of positive sexuality . By moving away from performance and orgasm at all costs, this approach, tinged with personal development, refocuses us on our bodies, our emotions, and the connection with ourselves and our partner.

Edging

Another technique for amplifying pleasure, another term borrowed from English. Edging describes a sexual practice focused on controlling orgasm. Often perceived as a professional technique, the principle of edging is actually simple. You create intense arousal until you feel on the verge of climax. Stop there, let the excitement subside before resuming.

Edging remains safe as long as it's limited to intentionally withholding orgasm. In some BDSM practices , it can be more dangerous for men when controlling orgasm restricts blood flow. But for us, no problem. Multiple orgasms are yours , and maybe you'll even earn the title of " squirter "!


If you're interested in exploring the fine line between pleasure and ecstasy, we highly recommend trying it alone first.

Testing the winning combo: vibrator + lubricant

If your goal is to maximize your pleasure on your own, then the vibrator and lubricant combo is your best ally . That's why we created a female masturbation kit .

You benefit from the softness of the gel but also from the incredible sensations that your Coco gives you .

To enhance your pleasure on your own , start by gently exploring your genitals with your fingers. We repeat: the goal is to enjoy yourself, not to compete in a performance race. So savor every moment as best you can.

According to a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine (2020), the brain remains the central organ of sexual pleasure: activation of the anterior cingulate cortex and insula is strongly correlated with orgasmic intensity.

Next comes the lubricant . It makes the vibrator more flexible and smoother, facilitating masturbation without irritating the vulva. Once you've applied a small amount, simply take your vibrator, turn it on, and move it towards your erogenous zones, your labia or clitoris. We recommend starting with the lowest vibration level and gradually increasing it.

We hope this comprehensive guide has helped you rediscover your own feminine pleasure. Gradually incorporate our advice into your routine and don't hesitate to keep a journal or track the evolution of your relationship with your body and your sensations. To further explore your pleasure, we suggest creating your own sexual menu. You'll see, it's quite fun!

If you experience pain during sexual intercourse or masturbation, do not hesitate to consult a healthcare professional.
Some pains can have medical causes such as endometriosis, vaginal dryness, infection, or a muscle disorder.
Always listen to your body. If a sensation is uncomfortable, never force it.