5 tips to spice up your foreplay

What if we put foreplay back at the center of the debate? Whether you're looking to spice up your sex life , experiment with new things, break out of a routine, or reconnect with your partner, foreplay is your ally !

No need to be a contortionist or spend a fortune on high-end lingerie; sometimes it's simply a matter of rethinking how you experience your partner's body . A bit like discovering it for the first time. And for that, nothing beats focusing on foreplay.

Not only will this allow you to move away from the traditional phallocentric model and all-powerful penetration, but also to restore desire , real desire, to a central place .

Don't know how to do it? We'll explain.

1. Rethinking the very definition of foreplay

According to an IFOP poll , 50% of women would like foreplay to play a bigger role in their sexuality.

Why? Because this is often the moment when their pleasure matters and when their partner takes the time to really focus on their erogenous zones .

Many of you still don't experience pleasure from penetration , or very little of it. In many heterosexual couples or relationships, the dynamic is clear: foreplay is for women, and penetration is for men. Even worse, foreplay is seen only as a way to "prepare" women's bodies to receive penetration.

We breathe a sigh of relief.

We advocate for breaking free from this pattern and restoring a central place to foreplay, which, incidentally, is rather misnamed . What if foreplay weren't a prelude to a future encounter, but rather the encounter itself? What if we started to consider foreplay as a complete and satisfying form of intercourse ?

We think we should stop calling them that, and simply consider them as a sexual encounter. Period.

This would also allow us to move beyond the still overly phallocentric definition of virginity : “when the hymen is broken,” implying, when there has been penetration. A caress, an intimate kiss, mutual masturbation… that counts!

“ What about fellatio or sodomy , which involve penetration but leave the hymen intact? What about sexual relations between girls that occur without penetration but are nonetheless sexual relations? Ultimately, it seems that virginity can be a matter of 'variable geometry .' What matters, after all, is being clear about each person's understanding of this word. Whatever one's definition of 'sexual relations,' one is no longer a virgin after a sexual experience shared with a partner. ” Virginity, what is it? Young Health Thread

2. Moving beyond the quid pro quo dynamic

The give-and-take dynamic is very common in heterosexual relationships. Too many of us still believe that because our partner has dedicated time to us and given us pleasure, we owe them the same. In sexuality, we never "owe" anything, except respect.

If we never break free from this give-and-take dynamic, we ultimately fall into a mere exchange of services and deprive ourselves of a truly fulfilling relationship. We forget that sex is also (and perhaps even primarily) about taking pleasure in giving pleasure to someone we love or who pleases us.

“ Couples are generally content with very little, both for each other and for themselves. The exchange of orgasms becomes the essential element of their sexual activity. As long as each person can have their six-second moment of genital pleasure at the end… everyone is satisfied. But not really!”

It sometimes becomes easier to masturbate alone without having to "offer" the other person an orgasm. We become sexually lazy and have few expectations of our partner during sex. " Give me an orgasm and I'll give you one too ," François Renaud, sexologist

For your next foreplay session, try giving your partner pleasure without expecting anything in return. Take your time exploring their body, pay attention to their reactions, and perhaps, don't go as far as penetration.

3. Create a sensual atmosphere

Before engaging in sexual activity, immerse yourselves in a sensual atmosphere. We know that in everyday life, we don't necessarily have the time (or the inclination) to light 200 candles around a hot bath. But from time to time, step outside your usual routine.

The goal is to stimulate other senses: hearing with a sexy playlist , smell with a new perfume, touch with satin sheets… let your imagination run wild! These may seem like small details, but you'll see, they will add a new dimension to your foreplay or solo masturbation sessions . 

4. Don't focus solely on the genitals.

If you were used to limiting foreplay to cunnilingus , masturbation and fellatio , we strongly encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and explore other erogenous zones .

The scientific journal Cortex conducted a study on nearly 800 subjects. The aim: to ask women and men to rate the sensitivity of non-genital erogenous zones on a scale of 1 to 10. The results of this survey were published in Le Figaro Santé . Here's a summary:

• The mouth and lips: Women 7.9 / Men 7

• Neck: Women 7.5 / Men 5.7

• Breasts and nipples : Women 7.4 / Men 4

• Inner thighs: Women 6.7 / Men 5.8

• The perineum: Women 3 / Men 5

• Neck: Women 6.2 / Men 4.5

• Ears: Women 5 / Men 4.3

So don't hesitate to explore your partner's body with your hands, your tongue, or a vibrator . The Bisou was designed specifically for that! You can choose the intensity that suits you and let its vibrations guide you.

5. What if you stayed dressed? A closer look at dry humping

For this topic on foreplay, we also wanted to offer you a completely new way of approaching your sexuality, while remaining clothed .

So, it sounds unconventional when put like that (and especially a bit contradictory to our pitch on erogenous zones), but it's super promising!

Foreplay done while clothed has a name: dry humping.

The goal is to maximize arousal by rubbing against your partner and exploring the visible parts of their body. The encounter can conclude in the traditional way or with you remaining clothed—it's entirely up to you!

The promise of dry humping is somewhat similar to that of edging : to build tension, even frustration, without ever fully satisfying it . This creates a unique situation, but above all, it allows you to truly enjoy yourself when you're naked together again. Give it a try!

If you were looking for inspiration to spice up your foreplay, we hope these 5 ideas have helped a little. Don't hesitate to talk to your partner about them; they might have some fantasies you could share! And if you'd like to explore a completely different way of making love, give slow sex a try. We're big fans.