3 Ways to Try Slow Sex - wikiHow

What if we traded the pressure to perform for more gentleness, more slowness and more intention ? That's what the slow movement proposes .

First appearing in the kitchen with the slow food movement , this invitation to slow down also applies to the realm of pleasure. Nourished by mindfulness, the practice of slow love is also said to be a gateway to greater self-love , relaxation, and a better relationship with your partner. Let's go, we'll tell you all about pleasure that takes its time ! 

What is Slow Sex?

The philosophy of slow sex is part of the broader movement of positive sexuality . By moving away from performance and orgasm at all costs, this approach, tinged with personal development , refocuses you on your body, your emotions, and the connection with your partner. It reminds us that the journey is far more valuable than the destination, with good vibes and no pressure.

Diana Richardson, an American sex therapist and author of "Slow Sex: Making Love Mindfully," explains:

" Our proposal is to slow down and be fully present in every moment of the sexual act , rather than focusing intensely on orgasm, at the risk of missing the opportunity to feel the subtle nuances throughout the sexual union ."

In slow sex , the watchword is above all relaxation: candles, a neutral and soothing decor, relaxing music... The subdued and soft atmosphere allows for total connection , more sensations, and above all the possibility of finding oneself in harmony and working on one's breathing.

Tip 1: Plan your sexual encounters

Our moments of pleasure can be spontaneous, passionate and quick… but not only that! By limiting yourself to that, you miss opportunities to take your time and truly discover your partner in intimacy .

Planning your intimate moments is an excellent way to give yourself quality time to try slow sex . Having a few hours available offers more opportunities for caresses, exploring sensations, or even mapping each other's bodies with your hands.

This is also an opportunity to begin the meeting with a joint relaxation session .

Why not try a mindful breathing exercise during the first fifteen minutes of your meeting? Relaxation is essential for fully experiencing your emotions by paying close attention to your body, without trying to intensify them. And it's good for your health too !

Leave your schedule, responsibilities, and daily demands at the doorstep. Replenish your supplies with refreshing drinks and let time stand still.

Tip 2: Prolong the foreplay

Foreplay is still too often seen as a means to an end. It ends when arousal reaches the desired level before moving on to the next stage: penetration or more intense stimulation. The very term "preliminary" makes us think of something sweet that happens before things get really intense .

At Puissante, we disagree with this concept. What is called foreplay is an integral part of romantic relationships. Taking the time to linger and cultivate desire with your partner is, in fact, very pleasurable.

To prolong your foreplay and experience your body from within, we suggest playing with your senses . Remember, it's important to combine sensory awareness and sensuality to rediscover each other and fully experience the present moment.

Touch

Combine caresses and slow, gentle massage movements on your partner's body. Take your time to let your hand wander, pausing on certain areas to feel their texture, warmth, and perhaps even a few shivers. Be attentive to your own sensations and those of your partner.

Hearing

Talk openly about what you enjoy, about the impressions the other person evokes in you. Guide your partner or whisper compliments related to what you're experiencing in that moment, to make them feel all the love and desire you have for each other.

The view

Observe your partner's body . Absorb every detail as if you wanted to etch it into your memory. We too often tend to take the other person for granted, to the point of forgetting to truly see them. Gaze into their eyes to maintain the connection and continue experiencing this time together. In her latest book, Sexual Ecstasy , Diana Richardson also recommends keeping your eyes open throughout the act.

Meditation

Begin with a short meditation session together . Sit facing each other, focus on your breathing and connect mentally before moving on to physical expressions of intimacy .

Penetration

Incorporate penetration consciously . Don't rush into this act, but rather explore it carefully, focusing on the physical and emotional sensations it provides.

The interplay of senses can also play a role in the atmosphere of your romantic moment. Dare to use soft lighting, incense, and candles (away from the bed, please ). Massage oil and a few snacks can also enhance your session to make it even more intimate and conducive to relaxation. 

Tip 3: Practice mindfulness outside of bed

Making love mindfully can become a challenge when you're used to rushing from one task to another and constantly lost in your thoughts. Returning to the here and now can even be a frightening and somewhat dizzying experience.

Don't panic, it's something you can practice! Returning to your breath is our first tip for returning to the present moment. Slow down and observe the Quality of your breath : is your breathing deep or shallow? Fast or slow? Also observe your rib cage gradually expanding from your stomach to your collarbones.

If breathing exercises aren't your thing, you can engage your senses. For example, list three things you see, two sounds you hear, and one object you can touch . Mentally noting their characteristics and appearance will bring you back to the present moment in an instant.

These techniques will help you invite more presence into your daily life . You will then be able to anchor yourself more easily in the present moment during slow sex , paying particular attention to your body, touch, desire and sensations, in an atmosphere of kindness and good vibes , without pressure.

We hope these few avenues of exploration will encourage you to try slow sex . This practice is by no means a new injunction where slowness and awareness replace performance and orgasm.

Your sexuality is multifaceted ; it can be fiery and passionate, fast and aggressive, as well as slow and languorous. The important thing is to always keep pleasure, consent, and well-being as your guiding principles. So, feel free to experiment with new ways of making love !