Dare to have solitary pleasure as a woman

Female pleasure is gradually freeing itself from the many taboos that confine it.

According to Dr. Élise Bensaïd, gynecologist and sexologist, “ discussions surrounding female sexual pleasure are finally opening up , but access to reliable information remains unequal depending on social background. ”

More and more women are embracing their pursuit of pleasure alone . Female orgasm is no longer a myth, and numerous private and public initiatives are sharing clear information on sex education . Companies are daring to innovate in the women's wellness sector and are making solo or partnered orgasm increasingly accessible.

Let us remember that according to the WHO (World Health Organization), sexual health is a fundamental human right , which includes the ability to have satisfying and safe sexual experiences.

We therefore live in an era where pleasure is more accessible than ever!

In this article dedicated to solo pleasure, we will also talk about topics that are still rarely discussed:

• How to masturbate mindfully?

• How can you get to know your vagina better?

• How can you pay attention to your body's signals when you stimulate it?

We're sharing our best tips to enrich your relationship with your body and your sexuality.

Note : The advice in this article is not a substitute for professional medical advice (sexologist or other specialist). If you experience unusual pain, consult a healthcare professional.

Good reasons to pamper yourself alone

By giving yourself these moments to masturbate , you reconnect your feminine energy to an intimate and soothing practice. Although, to truly understand it, nothing is more effective than trying it yourself!

Say goodbye to stress and anxiety

Through masturbation , the body secretes a large amount of endorphins . These hormones, combined with the release of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine , are responsible for pleasure and well-being.

They help reduce stress and anxiety . You then experience a profound sense of relaxation, which temporarily frees your mind from all those worries and endless to-do lists . It feels good!

According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2020), 68% of women surveyed noted an improvement in their mental well-being after a solo pleasure session.

Taking a moment to caress your intimate area can then become a daily self-care habit. Using a vibrator or your fingers allows you to create a sexual routine that is entirely your own.

Sleep better thanks to masturbation

An orgasm, whether alone or with a partner, improves the quality of your sleep. Thanks to the release of an explosive cocktail of feel-good hormones , both body and mind are more relaxed. Sleep becomes easier to fall asleep, deeper, and more restorative. What more could you ask for?

In its report “ Sleep, shedding light on our nocturnal activity ” published in 2024, INSERM reminds us that sleep is directly improved by the drop in cortisol (stress hormone) that follows an orgasm.

What if we told you that masturbation before bed can be more effective than herbal tea? Stimulating your intimate area naturally helps release tension in the body and promotes relaxation.

Reduce pain

The hormones released during female masturbation also act as pain relievers. Masturbation can, for example, relieve pain such as menstrual cramps or migraines.

Some women also use vibrators to better manage menstrual pain , by gently stimulating the vagina or adapting positions to their comfort at the moment.

Some recurring gynecological pain (especially during masturbation) should be discussed with a healthcare professional. It can mask underlying conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome or endometriosis.

Improve heart health

Masturbation can also have a positive impact on health. This practice stimulates the heart rate, just like brisk walking.

A study published in the journal Circulation (2016) shows that sexual activity, including masturbation , stimulates blood circulation and reduces cardiovascular risks.

What if solo pleasure was also a cardio workout? By combining breathing exercises, gentle penetration with a vibrator, and a good lubricant , you get a perfect combination to take care of your heart and your erogenous zone.

Ready for a cardio workout without leaving your couch?

Boosting self-esteem

Giving yourself pleasure regularly allows you to better understand your body . Knowing how to find your way to pleasure is key to guiding your partner later. You'll feel more confident asking for things, suggesting new experiences, and adjusting what you don't enjoy as much. This will allow you to introduce new games and open up communication .

Clinical sexologist Dr. Laura Berman points out that masturbation can significantly improve self-perception and body confidence.
Dr. Alexandra Hubin , psychologist, sexologist and founder of the Sexopositive platform, adds: “ Masturbation is one of the most direct ways to increase body awareness and identify what feels good .”

These moments help you build self-confidence , dare to be more adventurous in your sexual relationships, and experience your sexuality with power. Yes, your pleasure deserves to be the focus.

Finally, giving yourself pleasure allows you to have a more positive image of your own body and to accept it. It's normal; the more pleasure you experience, the more you love yourself .

Don't hesitate to try different positions or vary the stimulation(s) according to your desires. Some women like to stimulate their vulva, others prefer more internal areas. When it comes to pleasure, there are no rules!

A short guide to solitary pleasure to reach orgasm

Step 1: Take the time to get to know each other

Masturbation is an excellent way to reconnect with yourself . You are in the present moment. To fully enjoy it, you need to take the time to discover yourself, to get to know yourself better. This will allow you to discover whichtechnique is best for you to experience pleasure .

Let desire rise and let go of all your prejudices or apprehensions.

These suspended moments of solitary pleasure open the doors to knowing your body, discovering your erogenous zones , and exploring your pleasure without inhibition. They are an opportunity to enjoy your sexuality and experience uninhibited pleasure on your own.

Instead of viewing solo orgasm as a goal to be achieved at all costs during every date, approach your time alone with yourself as powerful moments of self-love. You are giving yourself attention, time, and care. Putting your well-being first is still taboo for women, but it is essential for building a fulfilling life and a loving relationship with yourself.

You can be proud of yourself!

Step 2: Find the right place and time for solo fun

The first step to enjoying yourself: creating a haven in which you feel good.

A place with a calm and safe atmosphere is the key to relaxing, letting go of the day and surrendering to well-being.

You can settle into your room and slip under clean sheets. Don't be afraid to go all out to create a cozy atmosphere : scented candles or an essential oil diffuser, soft lighting, and why not your favorite playlist to disconnect from the daily grind?

If this seems too conventional for you, feel free to follow your inspiration. Perhaps your bedroom isn't a haven of peace and you'd prefer to explore pleasure solo during a self-love getaway over a weekend, or perhaps you feel more aroused in your bathtub.

The goal of masturbation is to give yourself pleasure, without regard for the codes or rules imposed by society or those around you. If you prefer more unusual places to fulfill a fantasy or simply for the pleasure of a change, go for it!

Need a little more inspiration?

• On the washing machine

• On the kitchen worktop

• Comfortably seated on your sofa

• On a desk

• In the bathtub

• In the shower, with a non-slip mat

• On the sun lounger, by the pool in the summer

Simply put, a moment of solitary pleasure is a parenthesis just for you, it's an opportunity to bring your wildest desires to life.

In fact, one of the first steps to orgasm , whether alone or with a partner , is to fully accept yourself and acknowledge without shame what you truly enjoy. The advantage of masturbation is that it's entirely about you. It's your moment!

Some positions are more comfortable than others for exploring your sensations, as is using your fingers or a well-chosen vibrator . In short, the possibilities are endless! 

Step 3: Immerse yourself in a pleasant atmosphere

Once these preparation steps are complete, you can go further. To do this, get yourself in the right frame of mind. Whether completely naked or fully clothed, the most important thing for a masturbation session is to feel comfortable in your own skin!

In addition to the suggestions in the previous paragraph, you can heighten the excitement with an ethical adult film, an erotic audiobook or novel, or a photo of your partner. For more inspiration, check out this article.

During the session, you are also encouraged to focus on your breath . Listen to yourself, feel your breathing, and let yourself drift away. Lengthen your exhalations at the beginning to invite relaxation throughout your body, then visualize your breath traveling through different parts of your body, all the way to your sexual organs.

Finally, let go completely, allow your mind to wander, and give free rein to your fantasies. Let your imagination fuel the excitement. The brain is the true organ of pleasure ; it will guide you to a thrill that is uniquely yours!

Step 4: Hand or vibrator, the BFFs of a solo orgasm

Once you've found the perfect spot and the right mood to give yourself pleasure , it's time to choose your play partner, the object that suits you best . The safest and most suitable option is obviously a toy, whether vibrating or not.

There are a multitude of vibrator models available , and brands continue to design products that are increasingly adapted to female anatomy. You can choose from different vibration patterns, intensities, and target areas such as the vagina, clitoris, anus, or other regions.

If this wide selection overwhelms you rather than inspires you, we recommend opting for a vibrator that targets multiple stimulations , with a suction mode and a vibration mode to explore different types of pleasure.

The second option for a solo masturbation session is simply to use your hand. Touching yourself with your fingers gives you the opportunity to be even more connected to your sensations and feelings.

Before you begin, take the time to wash your hands thoroughly , warm them up, and apply a lubricant or a gentle vegetable oil that won't irritate your mucous membranes. The goal is to have hands that are as soft and warm as possible to enhance pleasure.

You can of course combine your hands and a vibrator to stimulate several erogenous zones at the same time or even alternate between the two and thus play with the different levels of arousal. 

2 female masturbation exercises

Reaching orgasm during masturbation will be easier if you know your body and have the right techniques to give yourself pleasure. If that's not quite the case yet, here are a few tips to help you reach seventh heaven . Choose from these techniques according to your mood; they're ideal for varying sensations and boosting your libido over time.

Squeeze your thighs together in rhythm.

The first method is combined with a thigh strengthening exercise. For this exercise, sit down . Then, while contracting your pelvic floor muscles, rhythmically squeeze your inner thighs together . You can also rub your thighs together.

This movement applies pressure to the clitoris and provides pleasure. Since the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, it's a very sensitive sexual organ . By squeezing your thighs together rhythmically, you'll stimulate blood flow, and it will swell as you become more aroused. It's also a great way to stay connected to your body throughout your solo pleasure session.

We challenge you to stay present until the end of the orgasm to fully enjoy the intensity!

In the company of the pillow

Here, you will need a pillow, cushion, or bolster.

It will serve as a pleasant surface for stimulating the external part of the clitoris , as well as the labia and inner thighs.

You have two options.

• Option 1 : Place it between your legs and make back-and-forth movements while lying on your stomach. Focus on the pleasure of these movements and you will quickly feel an intense sensation of well-being wash over your body.

• Option 2 : You can also straddle it and let your pelvis guide you. Here, you ride the pillow like a wild horse. This technique is called humping .

In the shower

The shower or bath can be perfect places to explore new sensations .

Position yourself under the shower and adjust the water pressure to a comfortable level. Let the water caress your body, especially sensitive areas like your breasts and inner thighs. Then, focus the spray on your vulva and clitoris and experiment with different movements. You can also alternate water temperatures to vary the sensations.

Enjoy this sensory experience to explore your pleasure in complete privacy .

You now have all the tools you need—literally—to pleasure yourself . It's your turn to find what works best for you to feel good. To continue exploring your own sensuality, we recommend this article which offers three new techniques.

Need to speak to a professional?

Consult the directory of approved sexologists of the National Union of Clinical Sexologists or explore sexual health resources on the Ameli website .