Our (real) advice to boost a woman’s libido

A decrease in libido in women is never a pleasant experience. It often arrives accompanied by doubts and self-questioning. When researching "how to boost your libido," you'll find all sorts of conflicting advice.

Between grandmother's remedies and sex gurus, it's hard to know what to believe.

In reality, your sexual desire is influenced by various factors. These can include your emotional state, your physical health, but above all, your desire itself.

Don't panic, there are many solutions to boost female libido . We're not promising a miracle cure, but rather a few avenues to explore. Let's get started!

What exactly is libido?

If we had to define libido in a few words, we would speak of sexual appetite . The term was borrowed by Freud from Latin to designate a sexual drive.

Influenced by numerous factors, a woman's libido fluctuates throughout her life . These factors intertwine and overlap, making it difficult to understand a decrease in libido when it occurs.

Libido remains an opaque concept for most of us.

For a clear definition, it's important to understand that it refers to both a psychoanalytic and a biological behavior . It's precisely this dual nature that makes the subject seem vague to us. Sexual appetite is both in the body and in the mind!

• From a psychological perspective, libido is an energy based on sexual drives. It is therefore related to our thoughts as much as to our sexuality.

• On a biological level, sexual desire corresponds to a craving , a need for intimacy that one satisfies alone or by having relations with a partner.

A drop in desire can be caused by turbulence in the relationship, poor mental health, or even fragile physical condition.

In women, hormonal variations related to the cycle, after pregnancy or during menopause can put major obstacles in the way of your sexual fulfillment. 

Understanding sexual desire disorders

Medications that affect libido

The primary cause of a decreased libido is a change in your treatment or taking new medications.

For example, antidepressants tend to decrease libido . These medications block certain neurotransmitters, which in turn inhibit the hormone receptors involved in desire. While these drugs aim to improve the mood of the person taking them, they can ultimately affect sexual appetite.

Always check the instructions for any medication you take, as well as your doctor's recommendations, before starting any treatment. If the medication affects your sex drive, you will know this beforehand and can accept the decrease in libido during treatment.

Does hormonal contraception affect libido?

Still in the pharmacy section, contraceptive pills can increase sexual desire in women. They can boost desire or completely kill it—it's a hormonal rollercoaster !

Hormones are largely responsible for sexual appetite. Therefore, regulating them through contraception that releases estrogen or progesterone disrupts the body's natural production.

The good news? You have a choice of contraception ! There are several brands of birth control pills, as well as alternatives like the IUD , the patch, or the implant. Find a trusted gynecologist to guide you in your search for contraception that won't disrupt your habits and sexual rhythm.

You might be surprised to see how much your method of contraception can increase or decrease your appetite in bed!

Anxiety and stress

The most common enemies of a fulfilling sex life are doubt, stress , anxiety, and negative thoughts.

And yes, beyond being a simple impulse, sexual desire is closely linked to the stories that play out in our minds. So, the more you feed your imagination, the more you'll be driven by the urge to act on your desires. When our thoughts are clouded by catastrophic scenarios, it's difficult for our brains to make room for enjoyment and pleasure.

Therefore, cultivating negative thoughts will lead to a decrease in interest in connecting with your partner. Say goodbye to "Will I reach orgasm this time?" or "Won't I bore my partner?" Instead, slip into the present moment , take a few deep breaths, and let yourself be carried away by the sensations.

Fight the idea that your performance determines how your partner sees you. This only brings anxiety and fear and doesn't reflect the reality of a fulfilling sex life.

Periods and menopause: libido saboteurs?

The fluctuation of female sexual desire is impacted throughout your life by natural changes in hormone production. While menstruation generally stimulates sexual urges, a decrease is observed as menopause approaches .

With fluctuating hormone levels in the blood, women are more prone to experiencing strong urges on certain days. Nature has deliberately encouraged us to procreate precisely at the time of ovulation . But that's not all!

Periods can sometimes boost libido because the female reproductive system is lubricated during this time. The cessation of menstruation often leads to a decrease in appetite and sexual desire. We explain the link between libido and the menstrual cycle in this article!

Just before your period, premenstrual syndrome can impact your overall energy and significantly decrease your libido during this time. Don't panic, this is perfectly natural and it's important to listen to your body! 

Is there a real difference between the libido of men and women?

This question comes up often and is sometimes confusing. In reality, there is no difference between female and male libido . It's mostly a matter of preconceived notions and social constructs.

Regardless of gender, both men and women can experience fluctuations in libido . In women, menstruation and ovulation are considered to stimulate sexual desire. As with men, testosterone plays a key role. This hormone is essential for estrogen production and boosts desire in both sexes.

Age is also a factor that differentiates male and female libido. For men, puberty marks the awakening of libido and testosterone, and this level remains relatively constant until around age 50. It is after this age that sexual desire gradually declines. For women, the awakening can occur much later. It may cease or decrease with the approach of menopause .

Contrary to popular belief, men do not have a naturally stronger sexual desire than women due to their biological makeup. They do not have more erotic thoughts than women.

The second myth to debunk is that women have a lower sex drive and are less interested than men. Our experience and sexologists agree that desire fluctuates depending on the individual and the stage of life . We all have our own unique libido; it's up to us to listen to it and follow our desire when it arises.

Taking care of your relationship to take care of your libido

Too often ignored, the health of the couple is the key factor impacting libido . It's difficult to imagine a moment of intimacy with your partner if the feeling isn't there and the conditions aren't right.

Many sexologists maintain that the state of the relationship between a couple is crucial for a fulfilling libido. When we say "couple," we mean both a long-term relationship with the love of your life and a casual fling.

Although the media might lead us to believe that consuming aphrodisiac foods is necessary, stimulating one's appetite shouldn't be taken literally . It won't have a direct and visible effect, but it can still help.

On the other hand, it is almost impossible for two partners to take the next step without an atmosphere of trust, respect, and attraction . Therefore, the success of a relationship also depends in part on small gestures such as words of affection, active listening, surprises, or romantic dinners.

We all have our favorite love language . It's up to you to discover your partner's and share yours to keep the spark alive. This could involve surprises, doing favors, or even simply complimenting them.

What are some solutions for increasing libido?

1. Communicate your desires better

Although perfectly normal, a decrease in libido is still taboo. We sometimes prefer to force pleasure rather than take the time to verbalize what's happening.

In our performance-driven society, it's common to feel shame or guilt when libido disappears. The old refrain of "I'm not enough" then happily invades our thoughts once again.

Communicating with one's partner is an excellent antidote to isolation in the face of a loss of libido.

Opening up the dialogue allows both partners to find solutions, reassures a partner who might feel neglected, and transforms this problem into a normal part of life. High five !

Perhaps rethinking your intimate moments by breaking out of your routine is an answer to a decreased sex drive? Trying new positions, changing locations, incorporating sex toys , or adding more sensuality to your lovemaking might be enough to reignite your desire. 

2. Managing stress and anxiety to boost libido

As we know, stress has a knack for invading every aspect of daily life. Unfortunately, your sex life is no exception.

Understanding the causes of your anxiety and finding solutions to better manage it on a daily basis is the key to a more fulfilling sex life.

Learning to manage your stress takes time. It often requires self-discovery and trying different approaches before finding what works. That's why it's essential to give yourself time and compassion during this process.

Of course , meditation, breathing exercises, good sleep, and regular physical activity are the foundations of good stress management . But living more peacefully can also mean reassessing your relationships, setting boundaries at work, better sharing responsibilities with loved ones, or dedicating more time to activities you enjoy.

Don't hesitate to seek support from a psychologist, coach, or therapist if you feel the need. It can only be beneficial for your libido! 

3. Exploring one's desire alone

Some articles recommend stopping masturbation because it depletes the level of desire. We can easily imagine desire as a Sims gauge that empties and refills throughout the day. But isn't it a bit more complex than that?

At Puissante, we fervently advocate the exploration of pleasure . We are convinced that this discovery of oneself and one's intimacy is the key to self-love .

Taking the time to masturbate with your fingers or with your favorite vibrator can be a way to reconnect with your pleasure.

By stepping outside the context of group sex, you can discover what you like and dislike, observing your sensations and reactions. Explore each part of your body with patience and tenderness. Give yourself the luxury of giving it the love it deserves and listen to your desires.

Taking a break alone is also an opportunity to try new things that spice up your sex life, but that you want to keep secret for now.

4. Dare to consult a sexologist

Dare to consult a sexologist This can be a crucial step in increasing your libido and improving your sex life. There's nothing shameful or abnormal about seeking professional help for intimate issues. It's their job to support you in living in harmony with your sexuality !

Sexologists are trained to address these topics confidentially, empathetically, and without judgment. Their expertise provides you with personalized advice, techniques, and solutions tailored to each individual.

Sometimes all it takes is an outside perspective or a relevant question to unlock a loss of desire and reignite passion. By deciding to consult a sex therapist, you are actively committing to taking care of your sexual well-being, and for that, we applaud you wholeheartedly!

5. Adapt your diet and lifestyle

As you've probably gathered, desire is linked to many things and everyday actions . Getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising can all increase desire.
Also, certain foods such as ginger or ginseng may have a small impact.

If that's not enough, supporting your body with a specific dietary supplement can be a very effective option! This special libido and natural lubrication supplement is an expertly formulated product, made in France, to combat fluctuations in desire and boost natural lubrication in women.

 We hope these few tips for boosting your libido have opened your eyes to the different approaches available to you. Remember that it's normal for our appetite to fluctuate throughout the day, the month, and even our lives. That's why we strongly encourage you to be kind and patient with your desire.