First anal: our tips for a successful experience

As you know, at Puissante, we pay particular attention to supporting you through your explorations. What we love is providing you with clear and insightful content on specific topics, always with the aim of helping you get to know yourself a little better.
Particularly in terms of a first anal experience , having a digestible and reliable resource can prove invaluable.

A few words about anal pleasure

Overcoming the taboo of anal sex

The idea of having your first anal experience is something that generally evokes strong reactions. It either excites you or worries you, but in almost every case, it intrigues you!

Over time, we've also noticed that many of you have been asking the same questions about your first anal experience (or first time having sex with someone). Where do you start? How do you approach it with your partner? How do you do it alone? How do you combine pleasure, confidence, and safety?

At Puissante, we support you in this step, as in all others: with gentleness, without judgment, and with open, expert and uninhibited communication.

Because no, anal sex isn't reserved for a certain category of women . It's not dirty, it's not extreme, it's not reserved for professionals or porn enthusiasts.

It's a whole aspect of sexuality that you have the right to explore, or not, at your own pace, according to your desires, and above all, for yourself. In this article, we guide you through everything you need to know before embarking on your first anal experience : preparation, potential pain, positions, the role of your partner, fantasies surrounding anal sex, the use of lubricant , any fears related to penetration, and much more.

Why talk about the first anal experience?

Anything unknown can be frightening. Because it's often left unsaid. Because many women think they have to "try it out to please their partner." Because anal sex is still considered "dirty," or necessarily painful. Because the word sodomy is wrongly associated with a brutal or forbidden act. And also because, in Google searches as well as in intimate relationships, the first time having anal sex comes up frequently.

Spoiler alert: no, anal sex isn't necessarily painful . And no, buttocks aren't dirty. And most importantly, no: you have nothing to prove. Your curiosity is legitimate. Your pleasure too. 

What you have the right to feel

Before we get into the technical aspects, let's talk about emotions. You have the right to:

• to be afraid,

• to be curious,

• to ask yourself a thousand questions,

• having seen anal porn that turned you off,

• having heard stories that bordered on ecstasy, or on the contrary, were painful,

• to be excited at the prospect of discovering a new erogenous zone,

• dying to try,

• to have absolutely no desire to try,

• to ask you “stupid” questions,

• to say no to your partner.
  
  

The first time having anal sex isn't a performance. It's not a validation of the relationship. It's a personal, intimate, sensory exploration. And it deserves respect, time, communication, and lots and lots of lubricant. 

The essentials for a successful first anal experience

1. The lubricant

That's the key word, literally.
Simply because the anus doesn't lubricate itself. A good anal lubricant allows for painless , much easier, and more pleasurable anal penetration. Choose a water-based lubricant if you plan to use a sex toy , or a silicone-based one if you're not using a toy. You can even opt for a gel specifically designed for anal use .

2. A space of trust

The first anal experience isn't a quickie. There's no way you can wrap it up in five minutes. Here, you take care of the environment, you prepare, you anticipate, you talk about it, and you don't leave room for too much improvisation. The focus is on:

• a quiet moment

• a trusted partner,

• a comfortable place,

• and we put words to what we feel.

As in many sexual practices, communication is the basis for a calm and successful first anal experience.

3. Progression

You don't have to start directly with full penetration. Instead, follow these steps:

1. Caress the outside of the anus, the buttock area, and the contours of the hole.

2. Gently stimulate the anus with a finger, starting by inserting it just a little bit.

3. Use an anal plug (beginner-friendly) gradually.

4. If you're doing it with a partner, and with a man, only proceed to penetration with a penis if the plugging stage was enjoyable. Otherwise, postpone that step until next time.

5. Breathe.

6. Explore the sensations, listen to your body.
   

The topic of pain during the first anal sex

Pain during anal sex is THE biggest fear. And it's legitimate.
But be aware that a painful first anal experience is often due to poor preparation . Here are the most frequent causes of pain:

• lack of lubricant

• penetration too rapid

• tension or stress,

• bad position

• No dialogue with the partner, lack of trust,

• psychological blockage

• little or no desire.
  

The anus is a sensitive area , but also very receptive. If you go too fast, it contracts. If you take your time, it relaxes. The key is gentleness, breathing, and listening to your sensations.

Sodomy, porn videos and fantasies: what if we put things back in their place?

What you see in anal porn or videos on the internet isn't reality. These are staged bodies, filmed, edited, and retouched. These videos are neither a model to follow nor a true representation of reality. Generally, in porn videos, anal sex is accompanied by brutality, a kind of submission: if that excites you, that's OK, but it doesn't have to be your reality or your guiding principle! Anal sex can also be gentle, respectful, sensual, and romantic!

You are not obliged to like it, and even less to do as shown in the videos.

The reality is quite different: much more hesitant, less smooth, more imperfect, more beautiful too, sometimes slower, in short, more real! And that's very cool.

Fantasies about anal sex can be powerful. But they should remain fantasies, not pressures . If you're curious, that's wonderful. If you're not interested, that's perfectly fine too.

And what about hygiene in all of this?

The fear of "dirt" is often linked to misconceptions. Yet, anal hygiene is simple:

• Go to the toilet beforehand, if necessary.

• Washing the outside of the anus with lukewarm water and mild soap is sufficient.

• Only use an enema bulb if you really don't feel comfortable with it at all (optional and especially occasional).
  

And if a little residue appears? Breathe. It's neither dramatic nor shameful . These things happen, and a caring partner would never make humiliating remarks. It's also part of the experience with anal sex, and a reality that partners are generally prepared for.

The role of the partner

Your first anal experience isn't a gift. It's not an effort you have to make. It's a moment to co-create. A desire to share.

Your partner must:

• respect your rhythms,

• adapt to your feelings,

• Do not insist,

• listening to you,

• Stop if you ask me to.
  

Anal sex is something you experience with two people, but above all, at your own pace.

The most suitable positions for a first anal experience

Certain sexual positions allow for gentler anal penetration :

• On its side (spoon-shaped): feeling of cocooning + control

• Lying on your back with your legs bent: you guide the entrance

• Squatting or semi-sitting: you control the depth
  

Again, listen to your body. The anus is an area of new sensations: you sometimes need to try several angles before finding what feels right for you. It also varies from person to person; you are unique!

Quick FAQ special first anal

Is it normal to feel nothing?

Yes. Every body has its own rhythm. Pleasure can come with practice.

Should I have an orgasm during anal sex?

No. It's not a goal, it's an exploration.

Is it possible to practice anal sex alone?

Yes. With a finger, a plug, a sex toy, or just self-care.

What should I do if I'm afraid to practice anal sex?

That's okay. Talk about it. Take your time. Or drop it if it doesn't resonate with you.

Is anal sex dirty?

No. With simple hygiene, anal sex isn't dirty. Just misunderstood.

In conclusion: your first anal experience, your choice, your pace

The first time you have anal sex, like any first time: you decide if, when, how, and with whom. There are no rules. There is only your truth.

If you feel like exploring this practice, do it for yourself. If it's not the right time, don't force it.