First anal: our tips for a successful experience

As you know, at Puissante, we take great care to support you through your explorations. What we love is providing you with clear and insightful content on specific topics, always with the goal of helping you get to know yourself a little better. ❤️
Especially when it comes to first anal experiences , having a digestible and reliable support can be invaluable. ✨

The first anal is an idea that generally doesn't leave you indifferent . It either excites you or worries you, but in almost all cases, it intrigues you! Over time, we have also noticed that many of you ask the same questions about this first anal experience (or first sodomy). Where to start? How to approach it with your partner? How to practice it solo? How to combine pleasure, confidence and safety?

At Puissante, we support you in this step, as in all the others: with gentleness, without judgment, and with open, expert and uninhibited words.
Because no, anal sex isn't reserved for a certain category of women. It's not dirty, it's not extreme, it's not reserved for professionals or porn lovers.
It's a whole aspect of sexuality, which you have the right to explore — or not — at your own pace, according to your desires, and above all, for you. 🫶

In this article, we guide you through everything you need to know before embarking on your first anal intercourse : preparation, possible pain, positions, the role of the partner, fantasies surrounding sodomy, the use of lubricant, possible fears linked to penetration, the relationship to the ass in the culture, and much more. ✔

🔍 Why talk about the first anal?

Because, like anything unknown , it can be scary. Because it's often left unsaid. Because many women think they have to "try it out to please the other person." Because we still believe that anal sex is "dirty," or that it necessarily hurts. Because we wrongly equate the word sodomy with a brutal or forbidden act. And also because in Google searches, as in our intimate lives, the first anal experience often comes up.

Spoiler alert: no, sodomy isn't necessarily painful. And no, ass sex isn't dirty. And above all, no: you have nothing to prove. Your curiosity is legitimate. Your pleasure is too. 😘

✨ What you have the right to feel

Before talking technical details, let's talk emotions. You have the right to:

• To be afraid

• To be curious

• To ask you a thousand questions

• Watching anal porn that turned you off

• Having heard stories that border on ecstasy, or on the contrary, painful

• Being excited about discovering a new erogenous zone

• Dying to try

• Not wanting to try at all

• To ask you “stupid” questions

• To say no to your partner
  
  

First anal is not a performance. It is not a couple validation. It is a personal, intimate, sensory exploration . And it deserves respect, time, communication and lots and lots of lube . 🧴💧

The essentials for a successful first anal

1. The lubricant

That's the key word, literally.
Quite simply because the anus does not lubricate itself. A good anal lubricant allows anal penetration to be painless and much easier and more enjoyable. Choose a water-based lubricant if you plan to use a sex toy or a silicone-based one if you are not using it with a toy. 🏄

2. A space of trust

First -time anal sex isn't a "quickie session." There's no way you can wrap it up in 5 minutes. Here, we take care of the environment, we prepare, we anticipate, we talk about it, and we don't leave too much room for improvisation. We prioritize:

• A quiet moment

• A trusted partner

• A comfortable place

• And we put words to what we feel

As in many sexual practices, communication is the basis for a peaceful and successful first anal. 🤝

3. Progression

You don't have to start directly with full penetration . Instead, follow these steps:

• Caress the outside of the anus, the buttock area, passing through the contours of the hole

• Gently stimulate the anus with a finger, starting to insert it a little bit

• Use an anal plug (special beginner) in a progressive manner

• If you are doing it as a couple, and with a man, finish with penetration with a penis only if the plug step was enjoyable. Otherwise, postpone this step until the next time.

• Breathe

• Explore the sensations, listen to your body
  
  

The topic of pain during first anal

Pain during anal sex is THE biggest fear. And it's legitimate.
But know that a painful first anal is often a poorly prepared first anal . Here are the most common causes of pain:

• Lack of lubricant

• Penetration too fast

• Tension or stress

• Bad position

• No dialogue with the partner, lack of trust

• Psychological blockage

• Little or no desire
  
  

The ass is a sensitive area , but also very receptive. And if you go too fast, it contracts. If you take your time, it relaxes. The key is gentleness , breathing , and listening to your sensations. 👂

Sodomy, Porn Videos, and Fantasies: What If We Put Things Back in Their Place?

What you see in anal porn or in videos on the internet is not reality. These are bodies staged, filmed, cut, retouched. These videos are neither a model to follow, nor a faithful representation of reality. Generally in porn videos, anal is accompanied by brutality, a kind of submission: if it excites you, it's OK, but it doesn't have to be your reality or your guideline! Anal can also be gentle, respectful, sensual, romantic!
You don't have to like it, let alone do it like in the videos. 👌

The reality is quite different: much more hesitant, less smooth, more imperfect, more beautiful too, sometimes slower, in short more real! And that's very cool.

Anal fantasies can be powerful. But they should remain fantasies, not pressures. If you're curious, that's fine. If you're not interested, that's just as valid. 💭🔥

And what about hygiene?

The fear of “dirt” is often linked to preconceived ideas. However, anal hygiene is simple:

• Go to the bathroom beforehand, if necessary

• Washing the outside of the anus with warm water and mild soap is sufficient.

• Only use an enema bulb if you really don't feel comfortable with it (optional and especially occasional)
  
  

What if a little residue appears? Breathe. It's nothing dramatic or shameful. These things happen, and a caring partner will never make demeaning remarks. This is also “the game” with anal, and a reality that partners are comfortable with. generally prepared. 🫶

The role of the partner

Your first anal sex isn't a gift. It's not an effort. It's a moment to co-create. A desire to share.

Your partner must:

• Respect your rhythms

• Adapt to your feelings

• Don't insist

• Listen to you

• Stop if asked
  
  

Anal sex is something you experience as a couple , but above all at your own pace . 🐌

The most suitable positions for first anal sex

Certain sexual positions allow for gentler anal penetration :

• On the side (spoon): cocoon + control impression

• On your back, legs bent: you guide the entrance

• Squatting or semi-sitting: you control the depth
  
  

Again, listen to yourself. The ass is an area of ​​new sensations : you sometimes have to try several angles before finding what suits you. It also depends on the person, you are unique! 🌸

Special express FAQ for first anal

→ Is it normal to feel nothing?
Yes. Every body has its own rhythm. Pleasure can come with practice.

→ Should I have an orgasm?
No. It's not a goal, it's an exploration.

→ Can we do it alone?
Yes. With a finger, a plug , a sex toy , or just some self-care.

→ What if I'm afraid?
It's okay. Talk about it. Take your time. Or let it go if it doesn't resonate with you.

→ Is it “dirty”?
No. With simple hygiene, anal sex isn't dirty. It's just misunderstood.

In conclusion: your first anal, your choice, your rhythm

The first anal, like any first time: you decide if, when, how, and with whom. There is no standard. There is only your truth. 🫵

If you're interested in exploring this practice, do it for yourself. If it's not the right time, don't force it. You're legitimate, with or without anal sex.

At Puissante, we believe in free, guilt-free, and inclusive sexuality. And we're here to support you—even when it comes to talking about sex, penetration, pain, lube, and sex toys.

Your body, your ass, your period, your pleasure. What if the first anal was a first time to be offered to you gently? ✨