Boosting your libido after 50: tips for sex at any age

"At almost 50, I'm discovering a world I thought I'd come full circle... When in fact it still has so many other unsuspected pleasures...!". 🤩

M.O, Puissante customer and Coco lover

Whether this woman is your role model or whether her phrase raises a few doubts or questions in you, let's lift the veil together on sexuality after fifty!

Right here, right now, with no bigotry or taboos, let's decipher the age-related changes that are creeping up on you. Let's see how to welcomethem , accept them and turn them to your advantage, for a fulfilling sexuality at any age. 🌹

For some women, middle age can be a time of profound change. Even if the reasons are natural and physiological with the arrival of the menopause: the body evolves, desire can fluctuate and sexuality itself can seem different.

Faced with this phase of life, women are not all in the same boat: some will never feel any discomfort linked to the menopause or any change in their intimate sphere. That's life, and that's the beauty of it !

For others, these changes in no way mean the end of a fulfilling intimate life. Whether you're in a couple or single, it's perfectly possible to rekindle and cultivate an active and joyful libidoafter 50, with or without a partner. Here's our advice on how to deal with these changes as calmly as possible and (re)connect with your desire and your body.

We can't stress it enough: when it comes to sexuality, there are no rules... and no age! Bear in mind that all the trends discussed below should be treated with caution and are not absolute truths. The only truth to respect and take into consideration: yours! 😘

Understanding the effects of the menopause on sexuality

The menopause is a natural stage in a woman's life, yet its effects are still too little known, or even taboo! Far from being limited to the notorious hot flushes, the undesirable effects on health are numerous and can have direct, or even collateral, effects on intimacy.

The symptoms of the menopause with a direct link to sexuality include :

Hormonal changes

The reduction in oestrogen and testosterone can directly affect sexual desire and therefore be one of the causes of a drop in sexual appetite. 🍽️

Physical problems

Fatigue, hot flushes or joint pain can reduce the desire and strength to invest in intimate moments.

Emotional problems

Irritability, mood swings and reduced self-confidence can have a direct impact on sexual desire and behaviour. Intercourse or masturbation become less frequent when "your head's not in it".

Dry mucous membranes

Vaginal dryness in particular can have an impact on comfort during intimate moments, but it can also send false information to the brain about the level of arousal, even though this is not correlated with natural lubrication! 💧

If these little 'gifts' offered by Mother Nature impact in any way on your libido and intimate confidence... don't hesitate to consider the following solutions:

• Consult your doctor or other healthcare professional to explore options such as hormone treatment, a suitable lubricant or dietary supplements.

• Be patient and kind to yourself: these physical and physiological changes are natural and do not define your femininity. 💌

• Self-treat yourself by eating a correct and balanced diet, giving yourself quiet time, sufficient sleep and regular physical activity.

Accept your body and welcome age-related changes

As you have seen, menopause can put your relationship with your body to the test. Yet learning to love and accept it is a key step in maintaining a fulfilling sexuality. Certain actions or practices can help you re-establish a connection with your body and your inner self.
Some of our favourite solutions include :

• Express yourself through movement: yoga and dance are perfect options for feeling your body in space and letting it express itself.💃🏽

• Find yourself beautiful: whether it's massages, cosmetics, lingerie or a trip to the hairdresser... consider activities that boost your self-esteem if you have the time and/or the means.

• Practice meditation and body scanning: during a quiet time, go over your entire body, stopping on each part and taking the time to feel them. 💭
  Over time, chances are you'll notice a reduction in stress and a more grounded perception of your body.

• Keep a positive diary: in a notebook, get into the habit of writing down your small successes every day, what you love about yourself and the things you're grateful for. It may seem a simple and trivial activity, but over time it will boost your self-esteem and, in turn, your sexual esteem.✨

• Reassess your view of femininity: the menopause doesn't mark the end of your sensuality, but the start of a new phase, freed from the constraints of youth! A vision to be shared without moderation, particularly with the men around us. Bear in mind that menopausal or not, this stage of life does not define you. So be patient, tolerant and loving! 💋

Reconnecting with your pleasure and exploring your sexuality after 50

Sexual desire is not a constant: it changes throughout life! Have you ever noticed that certain things you used to find attractive no longer have the same effect on you? That you don't adopt the same posture, the same gestures, the same initiatives during sex or when you masturbate?

Just as your style of dress has changed since your first lovemaking, after 50 it's sometimes necessary to redefine your relationship with pleasure. 🖌️
Before rushing to take medication and/or more natural treatments, changing the way you think could be the key!

Exploring new forms of intimacy after 50

The challenge of time, whatever the subject, is to keep a fresh eye, a curious mind and an open attitude to continuous learning. As with any activity that we've known and practised for some time, it's easy to slip into a routine and ingrain ways of doing things. With habit, the body acts more than the mind, often automatically. We turn to ingrained habits, mastered gestures, tried-and-tested positions. But don't we need to continually question ourselves, especially when it comes to sexual activity? Creativity and imagination are invaluable tools for diversifying the forms of intimacy that are already known and established. 🎨

As a couple: desire can be (re)born with the help of erotic games or videos, the use of sex toys or simply by shaking up your habits. Are you used to having sex in the evening? Why not try it in the morning! In bed? Move to the sofa instead! In the same positions? Try some new ones! Without music? Pull out a playlist! And there are tons of examples like that. 📜

Single: your libido can potentially be boosted by ethical porn, erotic audios, masturbation with a sextoy, long-distance sex via dating apps, erotic writing, reading... So many experiences to try to (re)discover what you like! Here, it's particularly important not to censor yourself and to (re)appropriate your vulva, the inside of your vagina and your clitoris without shame or limits. Your body belongs to you and it's perfectly normal for you to know it. 🔎

As you can see, it's essential to take stock of what arouses you and what makes you want to have sex. After the age of 50, it's common to get stuck in a pattern that was true some time ago but has changed without you even realising it. It's timeto reset your intimate clock. 🕰️

By doing this exercise, you'll be led to reorient your sexuality and refocus it on new things that better meet your sexual expectations and needs at the moment! 🎯

Rethinking desire with age

Let's deconstruct desire as only something burning and ephemeral! 🔥
Known as compulsorily sexual, intense and overwhelming, this sensation is, against all odds, well misunderstood by men and women alike. Let's decipher this term together to better deconstruct it.

Desire can manifest itself in two main ways:

• Spontaneous: It arises naturally, without any particular stimulation, often associated with the start of a relationship or exciting situations. This is ardent desire as it is frequently depicted in fantasies and stories.

• Reactive: It arises in response to specific stimuli, such as caresses, gentle words or a favourable atmosphere. It builds up over time and is nurtured in a relationship based on listening, trust and confidence.

Over time, spontaneous desire tends to diminish, giving way to reactive desire. (Thanks to hormones). It's important to understand that this is normal and that reactive desire can be just as satisfying. Contrary to popular belief, desire is not limited to a spontaneous impulse and can be cultivated! This is very good news, full of hope and pleasure! By learning to identify what stimulates your desire, you can better nourish your desire and increase your libido. 💋

The benefits of sexual fulfilment after 50

A fulfilling sex life is not just about fleeting satisfaction. It has lasting benefits for women's health, particularly after the age of 50! Let's take a look at the different aspects of life in which a fulfilling sex life can have a positive impact:

Reducing stress

Intimate moments release endorphins (or happy hormones), contributing to a lasting state of relaxation. By increasing the frequency of these moments, you're helping to create a calm and serene environment for yourself . 🧘

Improved overall health

Based on the same principle as stress, regular sex can boost the immune system and promote better sleep. A cocktail of hormones we'd be foolish not to enjoy! 🍹

Emotional well-being

Intimacy, alone or with a partner, nurtures (re)connection with yourself and your partner, and contributes to a stronger sense of self-love. By doing something good for your body, you're also doing something good for your head! 💪

Reduced discomfort associated with the menopause

Although there is no official proof of a link between sexuality and menopause-related symptoms, some testimonials and a few studies are promising. In particular, the Kinsey Institute recently published a study suggesting that masturbation is a remedy for the discomforts associated with the menopause. Or the prescription we've all been dreaming of! 🤩

You've got it, sexuality after 50 can become a profoundly liberatingexperience, provided you approach it with curiosity and openness.

Whether you're in a relationship or single, you have the opportunity to achieve a fulfilling sexuality that reflects your desires and needs. Dare to welcome this new phase with benevolence and enthusiasm: your pleasure has no age, and it's in your hands. 🫶

Don't know where to start? How about (re)learning how to massage your vagina and stimulate your clitoris?