The Sensate Focus method for more fulfilled sexuality Reading Sex recession: are we making less love? 9 minutes Next Focus on anorgasmia

For several years, the term sex recession has been blowing a wind of panic. Are we having less sex? Why? It was first used by editor-in-chief Kate Julian, in an article published on the front page of The Atlantic newspaper in December 2018. In France, we have noticed a drop in the birth rate for several years. The question is therefore on everyone's lips: is this due to a drop in sexual intercourse? From 1982 to 2023, there was a sharp drop in the birth rate , going from 14.8 per 1000 inhabitants to 9 per 1000 inhabitants in 2023. Although sexual intercourse does not systematically lead to the conception of a child, this correlation deserves reflection. Puissante conducted the survey on the new sexual habits of the French.

Changing social norms

The concept of feminine purity

In the past, a woman who did not have multiple sexual partners was often perceived by the world as " pure " and " virtuous ." This notion of purity was based on rigid moral and social standards that valued female chastity and associated virginity with honor and respectability. 🪽

Abstinence and fidelity were essential criteria for judging a woman's character and worth. Any deviation from these standards could result in stigma and harsh judgment , as in the case of soldiers during World War II who married women quickly to ensure that they would be faithful until their return .

These restrictive expectations reflected a patriarchal vision of sexuality, where women's sexual freedom was largely controlled and limited by social conventions. Even if the road is still long, we are gradually getting out of it. And that is good news! 👏


Consent

For about fifteen years, the proportion of individuals who have had sexual intercourse has been decreasing significantly: 76% on average, a drop of 15 points since 2006 according to a CSF study. The annual rate of sexual activity has thus fallen to an even lower level than in 1970.

Thanks to the revolution in the relationship to consent and the end of marital duty , French women are much less willing to force themselves to make love than they were 40 years ago. 52% of women aged 18 to 49 say that they sometimes make love without wanting to, compared to 76% in 1981.

Today, a woman dares more and can say no, unfortunately, this has not always been the case. 🙅‍♀️

At the time, a woman had to offer herself to her partner, her opinion was not necessarily taken into account. The deconstruction of the concept of " marital duty " is nevertheless still underway; in the last 20 years, 52% of women have already felt sexual pressure.

Influence of screens and social networks

Thanks to social networks and certain media, we are now much more informed about the risks of having unprotected sex.

Social media has helped normalize discussions about sexual health , a once taboo topic. By making these conversations more frequent and open, they help reduce the stigma associated with STDs and safer sex practices.

Some positive sex accounts educate us with inclusive and accessible content . They help open up conversations about practices, lift taboos and show the diversity of experiences . As you can see, there are not only negative sides to social networks! 😉


However, social media can also contribute to distancing. By focusing on virtual relationships, we risk becoming isolated and distanced from real-life social interactions.

Screens in general can be harmful to sex life: when we question young people under 35 living as a couple under the same roof, half of men (50%) admit to having already avoided sexual intercourse to watch a series or film on television (e.g. Netflix, OCS, etc.), compared to 42% of women.

It's time to put down our screens and get back to real life! 📺

Evolution of sexual perceptions

The different forms of intimacy

For a long time, sexual intercourse was mainly associated with penetration , but this vision is gradually changing. 🎉

Today, the understanding of sexual relations is expanding. It includes a variety of intimate experiences that go beyond the classic pattern. Prolonged foreplay, cuddling, kissing, massages: everything counts during an intimate relationship!

By viewing all forms of intimacy as valid, individuals are encouraged to explore what brings them pleasure and comfort without feeling pressured to conform to rigid standards.

This redefinition of sexual relations encourages partners to discover their desires and communicate openly about their needs and expectations. 🗪

Asexuality

Another phenomenon to explain the sex recession is asexuality.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not feel sexual attraction to others. It is not the same as celibacy, which is a choice not to have sex despite being attracted. In France, 15% of women and 9% of men say they do not feel any sexual attraction.

"This affirmation of a previously unknown orientation, such as asexuality, also promotes a form of 'sexual disengagement'," explains specialist François Kraus.

Asexuality, as a sexual orientation, allows people who identify as such to better understand and accept their feelings , without the pressure to conform to social norms of sexuality.

This recognition contributes to a broadening of the understanding of sexual diversity and offers a space for everyone to live their sexuality in an authentic and free way. ✨

Platonic relationships

Today, we are seeing a change in mentalities regarding marriage and sexuality.

More and more couples are seeing this with the popularization of living with someone without having sexual intercourse .

According to the study conducted by Ifop, 54% of women could have a purely platonic relationship , compared to 42% of men.

A clear evolution among women under 50. Because a life as a couple is not limited to sexual relations! 🥳


The face of today's society

The anxious climate

Although previous generations faced many challenges, it seems that our daily lives are marked by a generalized anxiety about the future. Our ancestors had a more rigid framework like the family, a more defined place in a neighborhood, village or even religious community.

The individualistic tendency of minds causes a withdrawal into oneself in the face of inflation, wars or even global warming.

The daily stress caused by these multiple challenges affects morale, mental health and sexual desire. As we know, desire is rarely present when we live a daily life tinged with stress and anxiety . Libido is low and the frequency of intercourse is down.

Dating fatigue

Sometimes the libido is still there, but we value quality over quantity . 🍀

Dating apps are everywhere, but many people are tired of online dating . As evidenced by the fact that dating site and app creators are doubling down on creating algorithms that match people and create a real connection.

Especially after Covid, we take more time to meet and express our desires . The pandemic has changed our perception of relationships and pushed us to seek a deeper and more sincere connection. Rather than rushing into meetings, many choose to get to know others better and build relationships based on mutual understanding and respect. 💞

Typically, we feel a sense of exhaustion from seeing dating as a commodity. Superficial interactions and the endless number of profiles to browse can be exhausting and discouraging. This leads to a phenomenon of dating "burnout" where people prefer to temporarily or permanently withdraw from online dating platforms.

Additionally, thanks to the impact of the #MeToo movement , everyone is thinking about their sexuality. Discussions around consent and respect in intimate relationships have become more common and important. Women in particular feel a little freer to express their point of view and no longer force themselves in relationships. They allow themselves to say no and set their own boundaries , which contributes to more honest and respectful interactions. 🔥

Changing priorities

In addition to the new challenges, our priorities have also changed.

Unlike previous generations, where getting married and having children were often seen as inevitable milestones of adulthood, we place greater value on personal and professional fulfillment, life experiences and emotional stability.

The recognition of the importance of mental health and personal well-being plays a crucial role in the decision to delay or forgo having children. Sex then becomes synonymous with pleasure and is a feel-good activity like any other. We therefore masturbate more to please ourselves. 🍃

Today, we invest more time and resources in activities that promote well-being, entertainment or pleasure.

The cultures

Religious beliefs play a big role in sexuality. This religious influence persists today in many countries, where same-sex marriage and homosexuality are still frowned upon.

For many dogmas, sex is considered a sacred act that should take place only between a man and a woman, within the framework of marriage and mainly for procreation. Some sexual practices are still considered shameful sins today.

So depending on the country and the culture, sexual relations can be more or less high: according to studies, the Greeks are those who have the most sexual relations per year (165 on average).




The sex recession trend is definitely happening. However, that doesn't mean it's bad news. On the contrary, quantity is taking a back seat to quality and sincerity in relationships . Priorities are changing and sexual intercourse is becoming a special moment. We are finding other forms of intimacy, we have much more freedom in terms of sexuality in general, and that's the main thing! And if you're having trouble finding moments of intimacy, why not plan your intercourse ? 😍

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