Sex recession: are we making less love?

For the past few years, the term "sex recession" has been causing a stir. Are we having less sex? Why? It was first used by editor-in-chief Kate Julian in a front-page article in The Atlantic in December 2018.

A decline in the birth rate has been observed in France for several years. The question on everyone's lips is: is this due to a decrease in sexual activity? From 1982 to 2023, there was a sharp drop in the birth rate, falling from 14.8 per 1,000 inhabitants to 9 per 1,000 inhabitants in 2023.

Although sexual intercourse does not systematically lead to conception, this correlation warrants consideration. Puissante conducted a survey on the new sexual habits of the French. 

Evolution of social norms regarding sexuality

The concept of female purity

In the past, a woman who did not have multiple sexual partners was often perceived by the world as "pure" and "virtuous". This notion of purity was based on rigid moral and social standards that valued female chastity and associated virginity with honor and respectability .

Abstinence and fidelity were essential criteria for judging a woman's character and worth. Any deviation from these norms could lead to stigma and harsh judgment , as exemplified by soldiers during World War II who married women off quickly to ensure their fidelity until their return.

These restrictive expectations reflected a patriarchal view of sexuality, where women's sexual freedom was largely controlled and limited by social conventions. While there's still a long way to go, we're gradually moving away from that. And that's good news!

Consent

For the past fifteen years or so, the proportion of individuals who have had sexual intercourse has been declining sharply : 76% on average, a drop of 15 points since 2006 according to a CSF study. The annual rate of sexual activity has thus fallen to an even lower level than in 1970, according to Ifop.

Thanks to the revolution in attitudes towards consent and the decline of marital duty , French women are much less willing to "force" themselves to have sex than they were 40 years ago. 52% of women aged 18 to 49 say they sometimes have sex without wanting to , compared to 76% in 1981.

Today, women are more daring and can say no; unfortunately, this has not always been the case.

At the time, a woman was expected to offer herself to her partner; her opinion wasn't necessarily taken into account. The deconstruction of the concept of "marital duty" is nevertheless still underway; in the last 20 years, 52% of women have already experienced sexual pressure (Ifop).

Influence of screens and social networks

Thanks to social media and certain media outlets, we are now much better informed about the risks of having unprotected sex.

Social media has helped normalize discussions about sexual health , a topic that was once taboo. By making these conversations more frequent and open, it helps reduce the stigma associated with STIs and safe sex practices.

Some sexuality-positive accounts educate us using inclusive and accessible content. They open up conversations about sexual practices, break down taboos, and represent the diversity of experiences. This shows that social media isn't all bad!

However, social media can also contribute to social distancing. By prioritizing virtual relationships, you risk isolating yourself and distancing yourself from real-life social interactions.

Screens in general can be harmful to sex life: according to a survey conducted by Ifop, among young people under 35 living as a couple under the same roof, half of the men (50%) admit to having already avoided sexual intercourse to watch a series or a film on television (e.g. Netflix, OCS...), compared to 42% of women.

It's time to put down our screens and get back to real life!

Evolution of sexual perceptions

The different forms of intimacy

For a long time, sexual relations were mostly associated with penetration, but this view is gradually changing.

Today, our understanding of sexual relations is expanding. It incorporates a variety of intimate experiences that go beyond the traditional model. Extended foreplay, cuddling, kissing, massages : everything counts during intimacy!

By considering all forms of intimacy as valid, we encourage individuals to explore what brings them pleasure and comfort without feeling obliged to conform to rigid norms.

This redefinition of sexual relations encourages partners to discover their desires and to communicate openly about their needs and expectations . 

What is asexuality?

Another phenomenon to explain the sex recession is asexuality.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not experience sexual attraction to others . This is not the same as celibacy, which is a choice not to have sexual relations despite experiencing attraction. In France, 15% of women and 9% of men report experiencing no sexual attraction .

" This affirmation of a previously unknown orientation, such as asexuality, also promotes a form of 'sexual disengagement' " explains specialist François Kraus .

Asexuality, as a sexual orientation, allows people who identify as such to better understand and accept their feelings , without pressure to conform to social norms of sexuality.

This recognition contributes to a broader understanding of sexual diversity and offers a space for everyone to live their sexuality authentically and freely.

Platonic relationships

Today, we are seeing a change in attitudes regarding marriage and sexuality.

According to the study conducted by Ifop, 54% of women could have a purely platonic relationship , compared to 42% of men.

A clear shift among women under 50. Because a relationship isn't just about sex! 

The face of today's society

An anxiety-inducing climate

Although previous generations faced many challenges, it seems that our daily lives are marked by widespread anxiety about the future. Our ancestors had a more rigid framework, such as the family, and a more defined place within a neighborhood, village, or even religious community.

The individualistic tendency of minds causes a retreat into oneself in the face of inflation, wars or even global warming.

The daily stress caused by these multiple challenges affects morale, mental health, and sexual desire . It's well known that desire is rarely present when one lives a life tinged with stress and anxiety . Libido is low and the frequency of sexual activity decreases. 

Dating fatigue

Sometimes the libido is still present, but we prioritize quality over quantity.

Dating apps are everywhere, but many people are tired of online dating. As proof, the creators of dating sites and apps are redoubling their efforts to develop algorithms that match people and create genuine connections.

Especially after Covid, we're taking more time to meet people and express our desires. The pandemic has changed our perception of relationships and pushed us to seek deeper, more sincere connections. Rather than rushing into dating, many are choosing to get to know others better and build relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.

Generally, we experience a kind of exhaustion from viewing dating as a commodity. Superficial interactions and the endless number of profiles to sift through can be draining and discouraging . This leads to a phenomenon of dating "burnout," where people prefer to withdraw temporarily or permanently from online dating platforms.

Furthermore, thanks to the impact of the #MeToo movement, everyone is reflecting on their sexuality . Discussions around consent and respect in intimate relationships have become more common and more important. Women, in particular, feel a little freer to express their point of view and to no longer force themselves in relationships. They allow themselves to say no and to define their own boundaries , which contributes to more honest and respectful interactions.

Changing priorities

In addition to the new challenges, our priorities have also changed .

Unlike previous generations, where marriage and having children were often seen as essential steps in adult life, we place greater value on personal and professional development, life experiences, and emotional stability.

Recognizing the importance of mental health and personal well-being plays a crucial role in the decision to postpone or forgo having children. Sex then becomes synonymous with pleasure and is seen as a wellness activity like any other. Masturbation is therefore no longer primarily a way to feel good.

Today, we invest more time and resources in activities that promote well-being, entertainment, or pleasure.

Cultures and sex

Religious beliefs play a significant role in matters of sexuality . This religious influence persists today in several countries, where same-sex marriage and homosexuality are still frowned upon.

According to many dogmas, sex is considered a sacred act that should only take place between a man and a woman, within the framework of marriage, and primarily for procreation. Some sexual practices are still considered shameful sins today .

So depending on the country and culture, sexual relations can be more or less frequent: according to studies, Greeks are the ones who have the most sexual relations per year (165 on average).

The trend of a sex recession is definitely real . However, this isn't necessarily bad news. On the contrary, quantity takes a backseat to quality and sincerity in relationships. Priorities shift, and sex becomes a cherished moment. We discover new forms of intimacy, we have much more freedom in terms of sexuality in general , and that's what matters most! And if you're struggling to find intimate moments, why not plan your encounters ?