Why plan your reports?

Between work, parental responsibilities, and endless to-do lists , most couples sometimes struggle to find moments of intimacy . Over time, routine sets in, and moments of connection take a backseat.

However, a fulfilling sex life has numerous benefits, both for individual well-being and for the balance of the relationship. For most couples, sex is a way to maintain and strengthen their bond.

And let's face it, over time, just like romantic evenings or weekend getaways, it can require a little planning. But here's the good news: scheduling your intimate moments can be just as satisfying as a spontaneous session. After all, a little planning never hurts!

Sexuality: one of the pillars of a balanced relationship

The importance of sexuality in our lives is undeniable; it is often perceived as an essential element of the human experience, but its significance goes far beyond intimate acts .

Sexuality encompasses many aspects, from emotional relationships to self-discovery, including the creation of bonds with other individuals.

It is still important to understand that not everyone has the same expectations, desires , or experiences when it comes to sexuality . Asexual people, for example, may experience little or no sexual attraction to others, and their identity is not defined by their interest in sexual relationships.

As we know, sexuality has many benefits for your body; to remind you of them: 

• Stress reduction
  Sexual relations can act as an antidote to stress by releasing hormones such as endorphins, which help with relaxation and general well-being.
  
  

• Sleep improvement
  Orgasm releases relaxing hormones that can promote deeper, more restful sleep , thus helping to combat insomnia and improve rest quality. It's a natural sleep aid!
  
  

• Mental well-being
  Regular sexual relations are associated with better mental health, as they help improve self-esteem and promote feelings of happiness and satisfaction.
  
  

In short, sex is good for the body, as well as for the mind and for relationships!

Common misconceptions about planning intimate relationships

In pop culture and the collective imagination, sex is often portrayed as an impulsive act. Of course, desire can arise spontaneously , coursing through us and sparking passionate encounters. But this is far from the only scenario for sex.

Planning intimacy doesn't necessarily mean formally scheduling it on a calendar. It's more about communicating with your partner to identify times when you're most likely to be relaxed, in the mood, and to dedicate time to intimacy.

We asked you on our social media what you think about planning your sexual encounters , and many of you were reluctant. For the majority of you, planning sexual encounters is perceived as yet another injunction that adds to the sexual burden or as a lack of spontaneity, considered the enemy of romance.

Let us clarify what planning means. Depending on your dynamic, you can plan intimate moments 2 hours in advance with a little sexting , or several days in advance to build excitement .

It's also a great opportunity to go all out and plan a meal or a massage. Planning ahead allows you to do some grocery shopping and add a touch of romance to your intimate moments. And it also gives you a chance to make sure your vibrator is fully charged!

The advantages of scheduled reports

Create excitement

Planning a sexual encounter in advance can allow excitement to build gently and desire to intensify through anticipation.

A scientific study conducted by researchers Mark E. Walton and Sébastien Bouret (PubMed, 2019) demonstrates that dopamine levels are higher when anticipating the satisfaction of a need or pleasure than when it is actually achieved.

It's a marvelous trick of evolution that, in addition to making us crave the fruit, motivates us to take action and go get it. The idea of succeeding brings more pleasure than the actual task itself. We can use this mechanism to fully savor the anticipation of being reunited with our loved one.

This anticipation can transform the experience into a game of seduction that lasts for several days. You can fuel this anticipation by sending flirty messages to your partner, stimulating their imagination and desire . Suggestive texts can create a pleasant intimacy and suspense, increasing the excitement for the moment you are finally together.

Schedule some time for yourself

By planning a time for intimacy , you give yourselves a break from the daily grind where you can reconnect, relax and give each other pleasure.

While spontaneity has its charm, planning these intimate moments ensures you're dedicating quality time to your relationship, strengthening your bond and intimacy. Besides, these shared moments might be your love language , or perhaps your partner's?

Expressing one's affection

We often plan important life events , like our holidays for example, so why not plan our intimate relationships ? They are just as essential.

By planning your lovemaking , you show your partner how important they are to you. It's a bit like organizing a romantic date, but with the added bonus of anticipation for that special moment together!

Enjoy preparing for this moment of connection.

Blocking out time to pamper each other is a great opportunity to take time to indulge yourselves and feel beautiful and desirable .

Why not choose an outfit in which you feel comfortable, whether it's your favorite lingerie set, a cozy outfit, or even a carefully curated look? This allows partners to prepare themselves mentally and physically , reducing stress related to unpredictability and unmet expectations.

When you plan your intimate moments , you have all the time in the world to pamper yourself, to make sure you feel good for this moment of tenderness and sensuality.

Exploring new horizons… but with anticipation

When routine sets in within a couple and libido is increasingly low, sexologists recommend scheduling sexual relations to rekindle the flame of passion.

Why not try out new positions? Inviting a vibrator into the heat of the moment, or trying out new methods like slow sex or gentle BDSM ?

Planning to have a baby? Plan ahead!

For couples trying to conceive , scheduling intercourse around ovulation can increase the chances of success. Understanding your ovulatory cycle and planning accordingly helps optimize fertility. However, it's always important to know your cycle to better understand your body in general!

Planned sexual intercourse: how to broach the subject?

Communicate openly with your partner

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that communication is key to a successful relationship. Bring up the subject with your partner at a time when each of you can openly express your needs, desires, and boundaries. 

Choosing the right time to broach the subject

Find a date when you are both relaxed, have plenty of time , and are free to talk without being rushed by other obligations. Avoid bringing up this topic when there is tension, stress, or external distractions.

Be transparent about your desires

Clearly express your intention to schedule intimate moments , explaining why you think it could benefit your relationship. If you've already discussed your shared desire to dedicate more time to your sex life, you can present scheduling as a solution to try.

Suggesting alternatives to spice up intimacy

If your partner seems hesitant about planning intimacy , suggest alternatives that might make the process more comfortable. For example, you could suggest creating a shared calendar where you can set aside specific times to be together.

Respect your partner's feedback

Be open to your partner's reaction and respect their feelings, even if they don't necessarily align with your own. If your partner isn't comfortable with the idea of planning intimacy , don't force the situation and be prepared to explore other ways to strengthen your intimacy . You are encouraged to ask them what solutions would work best for them and find common ground.

For successful planned reports

When you're thinking about reinvesting in your intimacy , the desire to do more can quickly become a new obligation or added pressure. It's not uncommon for couples to become rigid about the idea, and for sex to become a chore. This is exactly what we want to avoid.

Let's not forget that what truly matters in a sexual relationship is the moment of intimacy shared between partners. It's not the pursuit of orgasm, performance, or simply the mechanical act itself.

Orgasm can be a beautiful conclusion, but it's the caresses, the glances, and the sweet words that make these moments truly precious and memorable. Allow your planned lovemaking to be imperfect, sometimes interspersed with breaks to talk, laugh, or enjoy each other in other ways. Focus on the journey together rather than the destination!

You now have all the tools you need to plan your encounters ! And if you want to go further, you can also suggest using a vibrator during intercourse to add variety and take the time to try new things.