The Sensate Focus method for more fulfilled sexuality

What if we told you there's a method that allows you to focus on physical sensations rather than performance? All while emphasizing the power of the present moment, rather than chasing after orgasm.

The Sensate Focus has also been recognized for its success in treating various intimate issues such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation , low libido , vaginismus, and anorgasmia in women, as well as rediscovering sexuality after pregnancy. Sounds great, right? We'll explain everything in this article.

Who are Master & Johnson, the founders of Sensate Focus?

Sensate Focus is a sex therapy technique developed by American sexologists William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 1960s.

These two pioneers of modern sexology revolutionized our understanding of human sexuality between 1957 and 1965. They conducted groundbreaking studies to directly observe the body's reactions during arousal and orgasm. Through their research, they created the famous four-phase model of the sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Their 1966 book, Human Sexual Response , broke many taboos and remains an essential reference for understanding sexuality in a more open and scientific way.

Their method shocked puritanical America in the sixties, as they were the first scientists to observe individuals having sexual relations.

Thanks to this data collection method, they proved that the size of the clitoris or penis has no impact on sexual performance , that aging does not mean the death of sexual life , and that women do not experience less pleasure than men.

Without their work, the positive sexuality approach wouldn't exist, and Puissante even less so. Thank you to this dynamic duo for paving the way for the normalization of pleasure.  

The benefits of the Sensate Focus method

This method, taught in sexology courses, consists of a series of exercises where touch and bodily sensations are explored.

Initially, the approach is non-sexual, then it gradually becomes erotic , while initially avoiding any penetration . The goal is to encourage communication , mutual discovery, and the development of a deep emotional and physical connection.

Sensate Focus is structured in four stages, each consisting of 6 sessions lasting from a minimum of 25 minutes to a maximum of 40 minutes.

Each session involves a masseur/masseuse and a person being massaged, alternating roles between you and your partner.

It is essential to follow the Sensate Focus protocol , which means that the entire session, including undressing, showering, drying and massage, must take place in silence .

Even if you're dying to whisper sweet nothings in your partner's ear, be patient!

This therapeutic tool allows you to:

• Put less pressure on yourself
  By focusing on feelings rather than results, we say goodbye to performance anxiety.
  
  

• Improve communication
  You learn to openly express your preferences, your feelings, and what sparks your sensual curiosity.
  
  

• Strengthen the emotional connection
  These exercises help you connect emotionally with your intimacy. Bonus: By exploring each other's bodies, you also strengthen physical connection and affection.
  
  

• Rediscovering pleasure
  Without the pressure of "doing things right," you can savor the sensations and become more grounded in the present moment.
  
  

• Resolving sexual dysfunctions
  The Sensate Focus method is a valuable ally for resolving low libido , poor lubrication, or premature ejaculation in men.
  
  

• Boosting body awareness
  You become more aware of your own body and your partner's sensations.
  
  

• Sharing positive experiences
  Couples create positive and enjoyable sexual experiences together.
  
  

• Enjoy a calm and relaxing break
  Rather than rushing headlong into orgasm, you take the time to enjoy yourself and who knows, the relaxation might inspire sparks of erotic creativity.

“Try to avoid being judgmental or evaluative .
Judgmental thinking traps you: was it good? boring? ecstatic?
Evaluative thinking—that is, judgment that occurs while something is happening, not after it's over—is even more counterproductive, because it puts you in the position of an observer rather than a participant. An observing brain is prevented from fully experiencing the event: it thinks too much and feels too little.” ( from Heterosexuality , William Masters and Virginia Johnson, 1994)

By shifting the focus from performance to sensory pleasure, Sensate Focus allows you to better understand your own desires and bodily responses , as well as those of your partners. It also strengthens intimacy within the couple and fosters acceptance of your sensations.

Sensate Focus: let's get practical!

Phase 1: Non-sexual exploration

The goal is to create a relaxing , mindful, and self-exploring environment free from any sexual pressure. Just a moment of intimacy for two, allowing you to discover each other, explore each other's bodies, and caress one another.

The goal here isn't to expect a sexual response, but to discover your partner's body from A to Z : the hardest, the softest, the hottest, the coldest, and much more. It's a true sensory exploration!

1. Take a shower or a bath.
   
   

2. The masseur/masseuse undresses the person being massaged.
   
   

3. The person receiving the massage begins to shower, while the masseur undresses and joins their partner. The person giving the massage then thoroughly cleans and soaps their partner.
   
   

4. Once the shower or bath is finished, both partners get out. The masseur/masseuse dries the person receiving the massage.
   
   

5. The person receiving the massage will lie naked on the bed, preferably positioned on their stomach.
   
   

6. The person giving the massage then dries themselves and rejoins their partner.
   
   

7. He or she begins the massage with oil over the entire body, from the feet to the shoulders.

At the end of this first step, each person shares their feedback and expresses their feelings about what they liked, didn't like, and which parts of the body they experienced the most sensations.

After 6 sessions, once this level is complete, feel free to reflect on whether this experience has brought you closer together. You can then move on to level 2.

Phase 2: Integration of the fantasy principle

 The principle of phase 2 is similar to level 1, with the added integration of fantasy . The shower or bath and massage steps are retained, but with a more sensual element in the minds of both partners.

This time, the person being massaged expresses what they are feeling in the moment. Emphasize in particular what gives you pleasure.

You can include the genital areas, without it being masturbation, but rather " teasing " and sensuality.

At the end of the sessions, it's always important to share your feelings about the experience. You can even discuss your preferences: did you prefer the first or second phase? 

Phase 3: Integration of erogenous zones

 The more comfortable you are, the more you can start to include erogenous zones in your explorations.

While maintaining the steps of phase 1, incorporate increasingly sexual caresses with the aim of masturbating your partner .

Keep in mind that the goal is still not to have or give an orgasm, but to continue becoming familiar with the erogenous zones .

During this stage, feedback is always welcome. Share your physical sensations , but also the emotions you experience as you progress through the stages.

Phase 4: Introduction of sexual relations

During this final stage, it is important to revisit the previous steps before getting to the sexual act itself.

To recap, you take a shower or bath together, you massage each other, you start with more sensual massages , then masturbation, and it is at this point that you can include penetration and sexual intercourse .

This level allows you to completely surrender to pleasure . And one last time, all together, it's not a race to orgasm, but to the pleasure felt throughout the experience.

Our top tips for getting started with Sensate Focus

Create an environment of relaxation and intimacy

Choose a comfortable and pleasant place to talk about it with your partner.

When you embark on your exploration, you can even add candles, dim lighting, or soft music to create a relaxing and safe atmosphere in which you feel comfortable.

Agree on the frequency together

Before starting the sessions, take some time to talk with your partner . It's time to share what inspires you, what might make you a little nervous, and anything else that comes to mind regarding Sensate Focus . Choose your massage oil together and discuss the atmosphere you want to create.

You must also agree on the frequency of these practices.

Some couples prefer to do it regularly, while others may opt for more occasional sessions. Find what works best for your relationship and your respective schedules.

By establishing these foundations from the outset, you will create a more trusting environment conducive to the experience.

Focus on the experience rather than the obstacles

Sensate Focus is not just for sex therapy; it is a method that can enrich everyone's intimacy .

By focusing on the present moment through mindfulness, this method helps to detach from distractions and external worries. This not only reduces stress and anxiety , but also improves connection with oneself and with others.

By practicing Sensate Focus , you develop a greater sensitivity to physical and emotional sensations, which promotes more authentic and enriching interactions.

Whether during meals, at work, or in personal relationships, this approach can transform the way you deal with stressful situations .

It encourages us to fully savor every moment, to be more present, and to appreciate life's little pleasures more intensely.

Sensate Focus after childbirth?

After giving birth, resuming a "normal" and fulfilling sex life can be a real challenge for some women.

Between tissue healing, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue, and the new responsibilities of parenthood, it's not always easy. Adding to this mix are vaginal dryness due to decreased estrogen and lack of sleep, making sexual intercourse less comfortable, along with a diminished libido .

To better understand this postpartum period, the University of Tehran conducted a study with women aged 18 to 34.

Eight weeks after targeted interventions, such as the Sensate Focus method , participants showed significant improvements in their sex lives . They reported increased sexual satisfaction , less pain during intercourse, and a better emotional connection with their partners.

These results show that tailored approaches can truly help overcome postpartum obstacles and regain a great sex life.

Sensate Focus is much more than just a therapeutic exercise to overcome sexual difficulties. It's an invitation to rediscover sexuality with your partner in a deep and intimate way, while being fully aware of your own body and desires.

This practice is similar to the principle of slow sex , which emphasizes the present moment rather than the pursuit of orgasm. If Sensate Focus appeals to you, you can also try bringing more awareness into your sexuality!