A drop in libido is never a good time to experience. It often arrives accompanied by doubts and questioning. When we do research on "how to boost your libido", we come across everything and its opposite in terms of advice. Between grandmother's recipes and sex gurus, it's difficult to find your way around. Sexual activity is impacted by various factors. This can be the emotional state, physical health, but above all desire. Don't panic, there are many solutions to make loss of desire a distant memory and boost female libido . Because libido is influenced by a multitude of factors, we don't promise you a miracle cure, but rather some avenues of work. Let's go!

What is libido exactly?

If we had to define libido in a few words, we would speak of sexual appetite . The term was borrowed by Freud from Latin to designate a sexual drive.

Influenced by many causes, libido fluctuates throughout life . These factors intersect and overlap, which complicates the understanding of a drop in libido when it occurs. 📉

Still referred to as sexual desire , libido remains an opaque concept for most of us.

For a clear definition, it must be understood that it designates both a psychoanalytic and biological behavior . It is also for this double facet that the subject seems vague to us. Sexual appetite is in the body as in the head!

On the psychological side, libido is an energy that is based on sexual urges . It is therefore relative to our thoughts as much as to our sexuality. 🧠

On a biological level, sexual desire corresponds to a desire, a need for intimacy that we satisfy alone or by having intercourse with a partner.

The drop in desire can be caused by turbulence in the relationship, poor mental health or even fragile physical shape. ⬇️

In women, variations in hormone production throughout the month, after pregnancy or during menopause can put a big dent in your sexual development.

Understanding Sexual Desire Disorders

Medicines

The main cause of a decrease in libido is a change in your treatment or taking new medications.

For example , antidepressants tend to lower desire. They block certain neurotransmitters that at the same time inhibit the sensors that recognize the hormones of desire. These products therefore aim to improve the mood of the person who consumes them, but can end up affecting sexual appetite . 💊

Always check the package insert and what your doctor has told you before starting treatment. If the medication has an effect on your sexual appetite, you will know this in advance and will be able to accept the decrease in libido during treatment.

Hormonal contraception

Still in the pharmacy section, contraceptive pills can increase sexual desire disorders in women. They can boost desire as well as annihilate it, it's the Russian roulette of hormones ! 🎰

Hormones are largely responsible for sexual appetite. Thus, regulating them through contraception that releases estrogen or progesterone disrupts the body's natural production.

The good news? You have a choice in your contraception! There are several brands of contraceptive pills as well as alternatives such as the IUD, the patch or the implant. Go in search of a trusted gynecologist to support you in your search for contraception that will not disrupt your habits and sexual rhythm. 🙏

Anxiety and stress

The most common enemies of a fulfilling sex life are doubt, stress, anxiety and negative thoughts.

And yes, beyond being an impulse, sexual desire is first and foremost closely linked to the stories that run through our minds . Thus, the more you feed your imagination, the more you will be carried by desires to materialize your desires. When our thoughts are clouded with disaster scenarios, it is difficult for our brain to make a little room for fun and pleasure . 🤗

As such, cultivating negative thoughts will lead to a decrease in the level of interest in communing with the other. So we leave the inner saboteur aside. Bye-bye to the "Will I reach orgasm this time?" or "Will I not bore my partner?" We slip into the present moment, we take the time to take a few breaths and surf on the sensations.

Fight the idea that your performance determines your partner's idea of ​​you. This only brings anxiety and fear and does not reflect the reality of a fulfilling sex life. ☀️

Periods and menopause

The fluctuation of female sexual desire is impacted throughout life by natural changes in hormone production. While menstruation generally stimulates sexual urges, a decline is observed as menopause approaches 🌡️.

With the fluctuation of hormone levels in the blood, women are more likely to have strong urges on certain days. Nature wanted to encourage us to procreate right at the time of ovulation . But that's not all!

Periods sometimes boost libido, because the female genitals are lubricated during these days. The cessation of menstruation often involves a drop in appetite and carnal desire. We explain the link betweenlibido and menstrual cycle in this article!

Is there a real difference between male and female libido?

This question comes up often and is sometimes confusing. In reality, there is no difference between female and male libido. It is mostly a lot of preconceived ideas and social construction. 🙄

Regardless of gender, both men and women can experience a loss or increase in libido . In women, the period of menstruation or ovulation are considered to stimulate sexual desire . As in men, it is testosterone that leads the dance . This hormone is essential for the production of estrogen and boosts desire in both sexes.

Age also remains an element of difference between male and female libido. Indeed, for men, the period of puberty marks the awakening of libido and testosterone, and remains constant until the age of 50. It is after the golden wedding that sexual desire gradually levels. As for us, the awakening can take place much later. It can stop or decrease with the approach of menopause.

Contrary to popular belief, men do not have a more active natural sexual desire than women due to their biological conformation. They do not have more erotic thoughts than women.

In short, desire is formed in the same way in everyone: through the release of hormones . 🔍

Second cliché to debunk: women would have a more often controlled libido and are less interested than men. Our experience and sexologists agree on the fact that desire fluctuates depending on the person and the periods of life. We all have our own libido , it's up to us to listen to it and follow our desire when it is present. 🙌

The impact of a couple's good health on libido

Far too often ignored, the good health of the couple is the key element that impacts the libido. It is difficult to envisage a moment of intimacy with the other if the feeling is not there and the conditions are not favorable.

Many sexologists maintain that to have a fulfilled libido , the state of the relationship between the couple is decisive. When we say couple, we are talking as much about a long relationship with the love of your life as a regular plan. ❤️

Because sexual intercourse is first and foremost an activity requiring two partners. In this sense, the discomfort of one or his lack of openness to sexuality will be a major obstacle. Thus, you need to set up an ideal and favorable context to stimulate sexual desire and without making any effort your libido will be boiling. ✨

Although the media would have us believe in the need to consume aphrodisiac foods like ginger, ginseng or ylang-ylang to want to make love, stimulating your appetite is not to be taken literally. It is almost impossible for two partners to take action without a climate of trust, respect and seduction . Also, the smooth running of a relationship also depends in part on little attentions like words of affection, active listening, surprises or romantic dinners. We all have our favorite love language . It's up to you to discover your partner's and share yours to keep the flame alive. This can be by giving surprises, doing favors or even simply complimenting him or her.🌹

What solutions are there to increase your libido?

1. Communicate your desires better

Although completely normal, the decrease in desire is still taboo. We sometimes prefer to force pleasure rather than take the time to verbalize what is happening.

In our performance-oriented society, it's common to feel shame or guilt when libido disappears. The old refrain of " I'm not enough" is happy to invade our thoughts once again.

Communicating with your partner is a great antidote to isolation when faced with a loss of libido.

Opening the dialogue allows you to find solutions together , to reassure a partner who might feel neglected and to transform this problem into a common stage of life. High five! ✋

Perhaps rethinking your intimate moments by breaking out of the routine is a response to the decrease in sexual appetite? Trying new positions, changing locations, integrate sex toys or bringing more sensuality into your lovemaking can be enough to make your desire skyrocket.

2. Manage your stress and anxiety to boost your libido

We know that stress has a knack for invading all areas of daily life. Our sex life is unfortunately not left out.

Understanding the causes of your anxiety and finding solutions to better deal with it on a daily basis is the key to a more fulfilling sex life.

Learning to manage stress takes time. It often takes a journey of self-discovery and testing different approaches before you find what works. That's why it's important to give yourself time and compassion during this process. 💖

Of course, meditation, breathing, good sleep and regular sports activity are the foundations of good stress management. But living more serenely can also mean sorting out your relationships, setting boundaries at work, better distributing tasks with your loved ones or spending more time on activities that you enjoy.

There are as many ways as there are profiles. Don't hesitate to get help from a psychologist, coach, or therapist if you feel the need. It will only be good for your libido!

3. Explore your desire alone

Some articles recommend stopping masturbation because it would deplete the level of desire. We can easily imagine desire as a Sims gauge that would empty and fill up throughout the day. But isn't it a little more complex than that? 🤔

At Puissante, we are fervent advocates of exploring one's pleasure. We are convinced that this discovery of oneself and one's intimacy is the key to self-love.

Take the time to masturbate with your fingers or with your favorite vibrator can be a way to reconnect with your pleasure.

By getting out of the context of the relationship with several people, you can see what you like or not, to observe your sensations and your reactions . Go over each part of your body with patience and tenderness. Give yourself the luxury of giving it the love it deserves and of listening to your desires.

Taking a solo break is also an opportunity to try new things that spice up our sexuality , but that we want to keep secret for the moment. 🔥

4. Dare to consult a sexologist

We hope that these few tips to boost your libido have opened your eyes to the different approaches available to you. Remember that it is normal for our appetite to fluctuate throughout the day, the month and even our life. This is why we strongly encourage you to offer yourself kindness and patience with your desire. If you want to discover new ways to stimulate it through readings or audios, it's here!