Vaginismus

Whether it's menstruation or masturbation , taboos and misconceptions never spare women's intimacy. Vaginismus, a disorder affecting 5 to 17% of women ( Inserm ), is also a victim. Women who suffer from it often find it difficult to talk about due to shame and guilt. Whether it's primary or secondary vaginismus, this article will help you better understand these disorders that prevent many women from fully enjoying their sexuality.

The different forms of vaginismus

Despite her desire, a woman suffering from vaginismus will unconsciously contract the muscles of her perineum , to the point that no penetration is possible; whether it be a penis, a tampon, a finger, a speculum, a vibrator…

Sometimes, the pain is too intense for any kind of penetration to be possible. Even if the desire for penetrative sex is present, a trauma or a completely unconscious fear will cause this blockage. There are two types of vaginismus: primary or global vaginismus and secondary or situational vaginismus .

Primary or global vaginismus differs from secondary or situational vaginismus in that the woman experiencing it has never had sexual intercourse. This is due to a psychological cause ; the person has suffered trauma related to the genitals: sexual violence, a disastrous medical appointment, a fall, a lack of information, etc.

In short, it's the fear of pain , to the point that we can speak of a "phobic" disorder. The image of a vagina that is much too narrow in relation to the penis is often how women view their own intimacy.

In the case of a person who has previously had consensual sexual intercourse and subsequently develops this disorder, it is referred to as secondary or situational vaginismus. Similar to global vaginismus, situational vaginismus arises following trauma related to the genital area.

Curing vaginismus

Women's Testimonies

" The biology classes dedicated to sex education made me feel faint in middle school. They talked about the 'tearing' of the hymen. My sex life immediately became synonymous with pain for me, not with 'loss,' but with the tearing of a part of my body, which then became an open wound. " Anonymous testimony

“ One afternoon at the pool with my friends from middle school, I got my period. I was one of the only ones in the group who had already started menstruating. The others who had had their periods had already used tampons; they were even fans. Then came the peer pressure, especially from the girls who were 'the popular ones' in school. They told me that a tampon was nothing, that it was easy to insert, that it didn't hurt. Our host then rummaged through her mother's drawer, looking for a tampon. The image I had of it is quite striking; I can still picture it as being about 30 centimeters long. I spent an hour in the bathroom trying to insert it. It was impossible, pure torture. So I gave up, and of course, the next day at school, everyone knew, and no one was very nice to me.” I will always remember the girl from my class who came to me and told me that her mother had suffered from vaginismus, and that I shouldn't worry because it's curable. (Anonymous testimony)

To be accompanied by a healthcare professional

The first step to healing from vaginismus is understanding that you are not responsible . Many women feel guilty and don't talk about it for this reason.

It is now possible for many women to cure vaginismus through various therapies.

You can seek treatment from a sexologist , gynecologist, and/or psychologist. These healthcare professionals will listen to your story to understand the origin of the problem and can offer therapeutic solutions.

You will learn to (re)familiarize yourself with your body by exploring it. Looking at your intimate parts with a mirror and masturbating step by step will help you realize that sexuality is not synonymous with pain. 

Several exercises that can be done at home are often recommended, such as relaxation exercises . In some cases, hypnosis is also an option.

Once you are able to insert a finger into your vagina, your medical specialist will assist you in reducing contractions using vaginal dilators.

Opt for cognitive behavioral therapy

Focused on cognition and behavior, cognitive behavioral therapy aims to change negative thoughts and phobias. The therapist guides the client, without any pressure, towards new, guided reflections and internal monologues. This will take the form of tasks and missions to complete.

Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you combat your internal conflicts, beliefs, and anxieties . It will also help you manage stressful (albeit unconscious) situations such as the penetration of anything into your vagina, and regain your self-confidence.

Try perineal physiotherapy

Accompanied by a midwife or a specialized physiotherapist, perineal physiotherapy also plays a role in the healing of vaginismus . Since vaginismus is caused by the contraction of the perineal muscles, these muscles need to be strengthened. To facilitate vaginal penetration, gentle muscle stretches promote relaxation. You will also learn self-massage techniques.

Differences between vaginismus, vulvodynia and dyspareunia

• Vaginismus is defined as the involuntary contraction of the pelvic muscles which makes any penetration painful, or even impossible due to a psychological mechanism.

• Dyspareunia is a medical term that refers to pain experienced during sexual intercourse. Although pain during penetration is a common symptom in both dyspareunia and pelvic floor dysfunction, the pelvic floor does not contract in cases of dyspareunia, so penetration is possible.

• Vulvodynia is also synonymous with pain for women who suffer from it, but only at the entrance of the vagina and the labia . The pain occurs spontaneously or due to physical contact.

Vaginismus is not inevitable, and you are never responsible for what happens in your body. With the right support, patience, and appropriate exercises, it is possible to relearn how to feel good about your sexuality.

The important thing is to reclaim your intimacy at your own pace , without pressure or shame, and to surround yourself with professionals who understand and support your journey. Every little step counts, and every victory, however small, is a real step towards sexual freedom and rediscovered pleasure.

So breathe, listen to your body… and remember: sexuality is first and foremost about making you feel good .