Pornography in the couple: good or bad idea?
Having long remained a taboo subject and considered obscene, pornography has taken on an enormous dimension in recent decades, especially with the advent of the web. Its consumption is growing. Porn is moving more and more into the hearts of couples.
How is porn perceived in a couple's sexuality ? What are the effects of pornography consumption on married life?
- What is the behavior of couples towards pornography?
- The benefits of pornography as a couple
- The risks associated with porn consumption
- Combine porn and vibrator
- Alternatives to porn
- Podcasts
- The lectures
- Ethical porn
What is the behavior of today's couples towards pornography?
The advent of the playboy magazine in 1950 further provoked a certain predisposition in society towards pornography. Linked to masturbation , viewing pornography for men or women in relationships was long seen as a shameful and solitary practice.
The 2014 IFOP survey report shows that women minimize their partner's porn consumption. Among the games likely to awaken the couple's libido, porn figures prominently in the French sex repertoire. 43% of them say they have already made love while watching this type of film.
According to a survey carried out by Ifop for Elle on "the sex lives of French women in 2019", one in two women (47%) admit to having already been on an X site, a proportion more than ten times higher than that observed in 2006.
Sometimes pornography serves as a source of inspiration for some of us. Thus, nearly 47% admit to having already tried to recreate the positions or scenes from these videos (40% in 2009).
Pornography for two, what are the benefits?
According to Andrea Waling , a sexuality researcher at La Trobe University, pornography can be very positive if it is "consumed" correctly. In particular, it would strengthen the intimacy of couples wishing to explore their erotic fantasies together, by creating a more open and tolerant environment.
Pornography in married life has several positive impacts. Porn primarily serves as a stimulant for sex in a relationship. Other times, it serves as a means of enjoyment alone or with several people in a couple.
On rare occasions, pornography is used to alleviate problems affecting the couple's sexuality. Couples pornography helps to break the routine and revive the libido when the attraction in the couple tends to disappear.
Viewing porn as a couple can be a liberator of the erotic imagination of partners, a booster of couples' sexuality. It allows both men and women to reveal themselves to each other, to appropriate the scenarios, to share their fantasies.
In 2011, a Bridge et al study demonstrated the positive impact of pornography on women's sexual satisfaction. Unlike men, women integrate porn into their life as a couple and rarely indulge in it alone.
Pornographic films and videos serve as sexual educators in learning sexual practices, especially for the most shy. A survey shows that by allowing the release and fulfillment of fantasies , pornography reduces sexual aggression.
Watching erotic films as a couple, what are the risks?
Couples must realize that pornography does not reflect the reality of a couple's sexuality. This can cause complexes in men or women, especially if they are not able to tell the difference. Another significant point is that in pornographic content, the participants necessarily achieve orgasm. An idea that is far from being the reality in married life .
More than a third of men under 25 admit to having already been self-conscious about the size of their penis while watching a porn film, reveals an Ifop survey. X-rated films can create complexes in men and also spread sexual codes, such as complete hair removal.
Other forms of enjoyment can satisfy both parties. Which in no way detracts from the accomplished nature of sex. Often in porn videos, little space is given to foreplay, so there is often no prior arousal.
Normally, the sexuality of the couple depends on the character of each partner depending on whether he is dominant or dominated. Most often in a virtual sex video, the woman is used as a sexual object dedicated to satisfying the fantasies of the other. This is a very pejorative view of reality.
Because it is so easy and enjoyable alone or as a couple, pornography can become an addiction , thus endangering the relationship. The partner consuming porn may no longer be satisfied with the sexuality of their relationship. This risks creating emotional detachment from the other.
Some women/men feel distrust, betrayal or anger regarding this consumption by their partner. They consider it as infidelity and feel less attractive and lacking in confidence. Which creates problems and tensions in couples.
Although the evidence for possible health benefits from watching pornography is thin, sexologists agree that it all depends on the amount of time spent consuming porn and the type of videos watched.
Combine erotic film & vibrator
According to the Tenga 2020 survey, 45% of French people have already used vibrators. Thus, many people seek excitement and pleasure from the combined use of porn and vibrators .
Pornography is the most commonly used method of stimulation. Its consumption serves as a conditioning for many before masturbation with the vibrator alone or as a couple.
Once the excitement is triggered by the video, your vibrator can come into play. However, the choice of vibrator is important and must be careful! We obviously recommend our two Coco and spinning top vibrators 😌 .
You can use the vibrating part of the Coco vibrator to stimulate the outside of the clit or other erogenous parts (lips, breasts). You can also use it for penetration to caress the bottom of the vagina, particularly the G spot !
The suction part is purely non-penetrating. Due to its pressure waves, it is used for sucking the clitoris or breasts . You can do all of this while continuing to consume porn, this ensures you several varieties of pleasant sensations linked to visual, physical and sonic excitement. 🤩
In addition, the rod separating the two parts of the Coco vibrator is flexible. As a result, you can use both parts simultaneously for separate caresses. The Toupie vibrator 's shape is ideal for allowing you to explore all the erogenous zones of your body!
You can combine the Toupie, Coco vibrators and porn content for unprecedented orgasms throughout your body. Combining vibrators and erotic videos can be an intense and unique experience for a couple .
Alternatives to porn:
After trying, you still don't like porn? Do not panic !
Many alternatives exist, we reveal some of them to you:
1. Podcasts:
Breaking
In perpetual search for new experiences, at Puissante we love to share our new tips with you! Erotic audio fiction is one of our favorites 🥰
Among our favorites: Déferlante. Self-proclaimed “ pleasure-provoking podcast ”, the Belgian show will introduce you to an erotic audio story every Sunday at 8 p.m., for your greatest pleasure.
With more than 70,000 listens, Déferlante 's numerous archives can be found on most listening platforms and also on their website . Whatever your mood at the moment, you should find something to please you!
VOXXX
VOXXX , created by Olympe de G., has caused a real revolution in the world of sex podcasts. ASMR atmosphere, VOXXX immerses you in different pornographic scenarios, well accompanied by characters with voices that are sometimes sensual, sulphurous or transgressive.
The episodes for audiophile libido are archived and easily found via a search engine . Simply register on VOXXX+ to access it.
And don't worry, the last 10 episodes are available on your favorite listening platform. 🙌
Charlie's erotic readings
The idea of this brilliant podcast is to restore the image of “prank” stories . Challenge met with flying colors thanks to immersive and enjoyable readings .
There we find modern works by authors whose writing has been deemed ungrateful and who have not had access to the literary recognition they deserve.
In the same spirit, we highly recommend CtrlX , created by a group of journalists, artists and digital professionals. 🎧
2. Books 📚
Venus Erotica by Anaïs Nin
THE great classic of women's erotic literature. Venus Erotica is often cited as the only author in the rankings of pleasure literature alongside the Marquis de Sade, DH Lawrence and Henry Miller.
The text becomes master of our pleasure , keeps us in suspense as we approach bliss, as our beats per minute race in synchronization with the protagonists and as enjoyment overwhelms us . 🔥
Story of O by Pauline Réage
Pauline Réage, whose real name is Dominique Aury, gives us an iconic sadomasochistic story .
It is the story of a young girl, her beginnings in sexuality and her exploration of total abandonment to others . Dating from the 1950s, this work is still controversial to this day, but is among the classics of erotic writing. 🥇
Whether you love it or hate it, the Story of O has its place in a list of resources for self-pleasure .
The Scarlet Notebook and Losing Breath by Anne Rachet
Subtitled Lesbian Erotic Fragments, The Scarlet Notebook is not fiction . It is a set of texts and illustrations testifying to the writer's intimate journey. 📕
Perdre Breathe completes the first story by offering us moments of autoeroticism . A true ode to female masturbation , Perdre Breathe makes us acquire a taste for reflection and words as a preamble to sensual pleasure.
3. Ethical porn 😇
Pornography is now an integral part of self-taught sex education for many of us. Feminist, inclusive, respectful and diverse, the ethical porn movement offers other types of videos, far from the harmful clichés of mainstream porn. 💦
The framing is positioned on all the extras , whether they are men, women or non-binary. And it's the same for the way of giving pleasure, the time spent giving it and receiving it. No more stereotypes, in these videos the man gives as much as he receives.
Distancing itself from the dominant male gaze (masculine gender perspective, present in most erotic films and films in general), ethical porn offers varied sensitivities, sexualities and experiences. Straight queer couples, open relationships, transgender people, non-binary profiles and also a wide diversity of practices. ⚧️
Some ethical porn references that we have selected for you:
- XConfessions of Erika Lust
- Carmina Rose Square
-Bellesa
