Obstetric violence: recognizing, naming, and moving forward after trauma

When you were pregnant, you expected to give birth with peace of mind. Instead, you went through a difficult moment where you did not feel heard, respected, or free to make your own choices. You are wondering if what you experienced was normal, or if you really have the right to talk about it.

Good news: yes, you have that right. And what you experienced has a name: obstetric violence.

At Puissante, we know that talking about taboos is our specialty. And obstetric violence is a HUGE one. Thousands of women experience it every year in silence, feeling guilty and doubting their legitimacy to complain. Yet, naming this violence is about taking back your power, and it is also how we ensure it no longer happens to others.

So today, we are telling you everything. The definitions, the numbers, the consequences, and above all: how to move forward.

What you need to know about obstetric violence

What is obstetric violence?

Obstetric and gynecological violence (OGV) consists of acts, words, gestures, or behaviors by one or more members of the healthcare staff that do not respect a woman's physical, mental, and social integrity during gynecological care, a consultation, or childbirth.

In practical terms, this can include:

• a lack of informed consent: a medical procedure performed without asking for your agreement or without explaining what is happening,

• an absence of listening: your pain, your fears, and your boundaries are not taken into account,

• hurtful words: guilt-tripping, judgment, sexist remarks,

• disrespectful actions: vaginal exams without consent, forced interventions,

• intentional misinformation: hiding or lying to you about your options,

• medical paternalism: deciding for you rather than deciding with you.

The media outlet The Conversation explains that this violence is often rooted in a total lack of free and informed consent. That is to say, at the moment when you should have been able to express your agreement, you were never truly asked.

The figures in France

The numbers are alarming. According to a study conducted by Inserm and AP-HP in 2021, one in four women reports having experienced disrespectful maternity care during childbirth. That is huge. It is your neighbor, your best friend, your cousin.

And the consequences? They are major. This same study indicates that women who experienced disrespectful care are 37% more at risk of suffering from postpartum depression compared to those who received respectful care.

The research work also shows that this violence is not an isolated case. It is structural, linked to an outdated professional culture that persists in French maternity wards.

Spokespeople standing up

For a long time, this violence was invisible. It is thanks to courageous women that things are changing.

In 2013, Marie-Hélène Lahaye, a Belgian legal expert, opened her blog Marie accouche là and enabled women to start speaking out. Soon after, the hashtags #PayeTonGyneco and #ViolencesObstetricales circulated on social media. It is notably thanks to feminist movements, social networks, and the media (we salute the illustrator Emma and her comics, as well as the documentary Tu enfanteras dans la douleur directed by Ovidie on Arte) that the concept became popular in France.

In 2017, the French State finally recognized the problem by commissioning a report from the High Council for Equality between Women and Men. This report shed light on the link between sexism and obstetric violence.

How do you know if you are a victim of obstetric violence?

Concrete examples of obstetric violence

To help you identify what happened to you, here are some concrete examples:

In a gynecological consultation:

• You had a vaginal exam without the doctor announcing it or asking you for it.

• Your healthcare professional made a judgment about your weight, your hygiene, or your contraceptive choices.

• A painful procedure was performed without anesthesia, for no medical reason.

During childbirth:

• An episiotomy (perineal incision) was performed systematically without your consent.

• Contractions were induced without informing you.

• A cesarean section was scheduled without it being medically justified.

• You were told "stop screaming, you're exaggerating" instead of your pain being managed.

• You were threatened: "if you don't agree, you're putting your baby in danger."

• You felt judged, humiliated, or mocked...

Some gestures considered mundane actually mask a violation of your rights. For example, a systematic episiotomy has no medical justification according to studies, yet it is still widely practiced.

Why it is important to name it

If you have experienced one of these situations, it is not normal and it is not your fault. Obstetric violence is not due to "a bad midwife" or "an incompetent doctor." It is often a reflection of a patriarchal professional culture and a system that does not allocate enough resources to maternity wards (overloaded teams, no training in patient respect, rigid hierarchies).

Naming what happened to you allows you to:

• reconnect with your legitimate feelings,

• understand that you are not alone,

• begin a healing process,

• contribute to systemic change.

Who to contact in case of obstetric violence?

Speak to validate, then take action

First step: talk about it. To your partner, a friend, or your family. Putting words to what happened to you is therapeutic. It also allows you to verify that your feelings are valid (spoiler: they are).

Concrete steps to report

1. Consult a trusted healthcare professional: an independent midwife, a sexologist, or a general practitioner who listens to you without judgment.
   
   

2. Contact specialized associations:
   
   

• The Collectif Inter-Associatif Autour de la Naissance (CIANE): for more information and resources

• The Collectif Stop aux Violences Obstétriques et Gynécologiques: an excellent starting point

3. Report to your facility: ask to speak to the quality manager of the maternity ward where you gave birth.

4. Take legal action if you wish:
   
   

• Filing a complaint with the authorities

• Amicable settlements with the hospital

• Consulting a specialized lawyer

5. Report to the Ministry of Health: a national investigation can be launched
   
   

And above all: you are never alone. Professionals exist to support you in this process.

What are the concrete consequences of obstetric violence?

Loss of trust in medical professionals

After obstetric violence, many women develop a visceral fear of medical professionals. This fear is completely justified. You were betrayed at a time when you were vulnerable. Your body recorded this trauma.

As a result, some women avoid medical consultations, postpone routine screenings, or even refuse care they might need.

The good news? There are lists of "safe" practitioners (midwives, gynecologists, obstetricians) trained in respect and listening (the CIANE community, for example). You can regain your trust with the right people.

Difficulties in reclaiming your body

A body that has been mistreated is a body that has been conquered, invaded, violated. For a long time after obstetric violence, many women struggle to reconnect with their body as a space that belongs to them.

You might feel:

• physical disconnection (dissociation),

• shame about your body,

• a feeling that your body "betrayed you,"

• difficulty touching yourself or being massaged.

All of this is normal, and it is reversible.

Intimacy after obstetric violence

Sexuality is often ground zero after obstetric violence. Getting naked again means making yourself vulnerable, and your brain reminds you of this every time.

You might feel:

• a fear of penetration (even vaginismus),

• an inability to orgasm or experience pleasure,

• a drastic decrease in libido,

• anxiety before sexual intercourse,

• guilt toward your partner.

Here too, it takes time and adapted help.

Healing your body after obstetric violence

Taking care of your body and your intimacy

Reclaiming your body is a political act of healing. Here is how:

• Massage: find a compassionate therapist who works with body trauma. It is an excellent way to gently reinvest in your body.

• Sophrology: this technique of deep relaxation helps reprogram your nervous system's reactions to stress.

• Yoga or dance: moving consciously can help you reinvest in your body.

• Hot baths: simple but so soothing for reconnecting with yourself.

The idea? To be kind and patient with yourself.

Products that make you feel good

To support you on the path to healing, you can also invest in gentle products:

• An intimate moisturizing balm: taking care of your vulva is also a soothing gesture.

• A massage oil: for moments of gentle self-massage.

• Scented candles: to create a safe and caring environment.

These small rituals are not trivial: they are a gradual return to intimacy.

Sex at your own pace

Here, no guilt. Your libido will reappear when it decides to.

• Don't force anything: you are under no obligation to "return to normal."

• No penetration if you don't feel like it: there are a thousand other ways to make love.

• Communicate clearly with your partner: tell them what scares you, what would feel good for you.

• Consider couples therapy if it is difficult for your relationship.

• Consult a sexologist to gradually regain your confidence.

Sexuality is a right, not an obligation: do what feels right for you!

At Puissante, we shout it loud and clear: you deserve respectful, kind, and dignified care. If you have experienced obstetric violence, do not hesitate to speak up, seek support, and reclaim power over your well-being. You are never alone.