What is aftercare? Taking care of others and yourself after love
Sexual intercourse involves foreplay, the act itself, and perhaps orgasm. We have a pretty clear idea of what it's like to experience an intimate moment with several people. However, we tend to forget what happens afterwards.
Aftercare is one of the most important stages of a relationship, but still too few people know what it is.
What is aftercare?
Coming from the BDSM world, where play sessions can lead participants into areas of great physical and emotional vulnerability, aftercare is the act of taking care after sexual intercourse.
When the body and mind are on fire, we produce a powerful cocktail of hormones. Arousal transforms our physiology, stimulates our imagination and strengthens the fusion with our partner. Sometimes, it even propels us into another dimension. How can we find our way back to Earth? 🚀
Traditionally, aftercare includes practices that help both the dominant and submissive to gently return to reality after a session. It is a moment of intimacy and tenderness where each person feels soothed and receives the attention they need.
Much like consent came into the BDSM world long before it was integrated into more mainstream relationships, aftercare is positive for everyone. 🫂
Whether you're in a long-term relationship, an open relationship, or single and juggling multiple play partners, the moment after sex is just as important.
Why practice aftercare?
Create a decompression chamber
The suspended moment of aftercare provides a safe space where partners can relax , calm down, and return to a state of tranquility. Think of it as a beautiful bridge that connects sex to your daily life. 🌉
Instead of ending abruptly and rushing back to your endless to-do list, this moment promotes a feeling of physical and emotional well-being.
Caresses, sweet words and intimacy allow the body to return to normal physiology and hormone levels to come down at their own pace. 🪷
Strengthening the connection between partners
You've just had such a crazy time as a couple that your legs are still shaking. What if we told you that the minutes after seventh heaven are even more precious for nourishing your bond with your partner?
The drop in excitement makes pillow talk easier . We talk about what we liked or didn't like in an open and non-judgmental way. It's the perfect opportunity to share our feelings and preferences , without guilt or reproach.
Good news: the more you dare to open up, the more fiery and satisfying your future dates will be . 🔥
Skinning the sex blues
You may not have heard of post-coital dysphoria aka sex blues , but you've probably experienced it. You know, that moment right after sex when a great sadness suddenly overwhelms us. We can feel depressed and tears sometimes blur our vision.
This is where the aftercare superpower comes in! 🪄
This restorative practice allows strong emotions to be expressed in a healthy way. It offers an opportunity to reassure each other, to comfort each other and to feel loved and supported. We thus find ourselves in a caring cocoon, which can greatly contribute to alleviating the negative emotions felt after the sexual act.
Normalizing pleasure
After sex, some people may feel embarrassed or guilty. Enjoyment is sometimes accompanied by feelings of discomfort , thanks to centuries of prohibitions and taboos associated with pleasure. So post-sex is not the time to leave Baby in a corner. ❤️
The practice of aftercare plays a crucial role in normalizing pleasure and helping to deconstruct the stigma and shame associated with pleasure . By sharing a bubble of support and acceptance , each partner invites the other to feel safe and comfortable with their own sensations and desires.
This gentle blend of listening and self-expression is the key to developing a more fulfilling relationship with one's sexuality and contributes to greater personal satisfaction. 🙌
By taking care of the after, the sexual experience becomes more fulfilling and helps create a positive atmosphere within the relationship. In short, aftercare is a valuable practice that promotes lasting and balanced emotional intimacy within a couple. 💪
What an aftercare moment looks like
OK, we understand the concept of aftercare, but where do we start? The answer is simple: communicate. 😉 The first step to gently returning to reality is to communicate with the other person . This can be done by saying words of affirmation about what you liked. Make sure your partner's needs are met , then share what you would like to receive to relax . Spoiler alert : few people answer "roll over and sleep".
Then, depending on your mood, you can choose from a wide range of activities.
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Aftercare is a fluid practice, the activities it involves can completely evolve over time or from one date to another. Stay tuned to your desires and those of your partner. You can set up a ritual or improvise new activities each time. You alone decide provided that each party consents of course! 👏
This phase after the intimate act helps strengthen the relationship by fostering emotional connection and establishing a sense of security and mutual well-being. By taking the time to listen to your partner's needs and desires, aftercare helps deepen trust and strengthen bonds within the couple, creating a more enriching and fulfilling sexual experience.
As you will have understood, aftercare is an essential practice that allows you to take care of yourself and others after sex. By offering a space for relaxation, connection and support, it promotes faster physical and emotional recovery . By integrating aftercare into our sexual practices, we can have more enriching, more fulfilling and more respectful experiences for all partners involved. Now that you know about after sex, we suggest you discover how to live before even better thanks to the sexual menu. 😘
