Try shibari safely

Shibari , shi-ba-ri, the name evokes something erotic and perhaps aesthetic, though you can't quite put your finger on it. Often associated with sexual practices, Japanese bondage , also called kinbaku , is a discipline that touches on both art and emotion.

If this skill intrigues you but you don't know where to start, you've come to the right place. We'll explain how to get started with rope work , safely.

What is shibari?

Shibari is a Japanese bondage technique that involves tying up one's partner with ropes… But be careful, not just any old way: with a sequence of movements and specific knots, in pure respect for tradition.

Shibari has medieval Japanese origins, where it was used by the military to capture, torture , and punish prisoners. The Nawashi, an elite trained in this technique, practiced different restraints depending on the captive's social status. The patterns of the intertwined ropes also served to indicate the reason for the arrest.

Today, the terms “shibari” and “kinbaku” are often used interchangeably to describe a popular practice within BDSM circles. This practice is frequently linked to aesthetic and artistic eroticism . In recent years, it has emerged from the darkness of dungeons to find its way into the bedrooms of those who wish to explore new horizons of connection and pleasure .

Rope art has become a fully-fledged art form . Competitions, photo exhibitions, and videos can be found online. Shibari artists create intricate patterns with ropes, using the contours of the body to create striking forms. The body is a blank canvas, and the skin becomes negative space to be filled.

This practice is also appreciated for its eroticism , which can be both gentle and sensual, intense and extreme. 

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Shibari to explore a new intimacy

What we love about shibari is that it's a practice that is sensual, sexual, and artistic. It blends different sensitivities to create an experience of connection with one's partner.

Feeling constrained can be both exciting and calming. You are grounded in the present moment, fully aware of your sensations and thoughts.

“ During my first experience as an attaché, I discovered how constraint could paradoxically be liberating . Deprived of my usual movements, I felt every detail: the rope slipping, the friction of a knot, a hand brushing against something. Everything seemed amplified. ” Testimony of Tifany Lefebvre for Adopte

Rope work emphasizes emotion, trust, and communication between partners. It invites you to be as attentive to yourself as to your partner and to respect each other's limits.

The art of rope work for better self-understanding

Contrary to popular belief about bondage practices , shibari is a fantastic and safe tool for exploring and discovering oneself from new perspectives.

Many people claim that this art allows them to discover aspects of their personality and sexuality that were previously unknown to them.

When you are restrained by the ropes , you may experience a feeling of floating or more intense physical sensations. You are no longer free to move, so your other senses are twice as engaged.

Shibari for letting go

Contrary to popular belief, shibari is not a violent practice , quite the opposite.

“ Shibari helps slow down time , even suspend it; it stands in contrast to daily life where we are constantly pressured to perform. The number of practitioners is increasing, and they come from diverse backgrounds because shibari tends to be less traditional, less heteronormative, and less strictly linked to BDSM. The practice is now open to many more people .” Stéphanie Doe, sex therapist, in an interview with Le Parisien

You can take this opportunity to meditate, relax, and immerse yourself in a bubble of well-being. The person tying the rope offers the person being tied a complete space to let go . The person being tied offers their body and places their trust in their hands.

Rope play can also be used to explore different roles and fantasies , playing with power, submission, and trust.

It's up to you to test and explore what resonates most with you.

How to get started with shibari?

Okay, you're tempted by kinbaku, but you don't know how to try it safely . Don't panic, we'll tell you everything!

First thing: educate yourself. Search forums, blogs and accounts dedicated to rope practice to take your first steps into this world.

You're in luck, shibari is becoming increasingly popular in France . As a result, there's a growing number of schools and associations offering courses and workshops for beginners in Japanese bondage.

In Paris, you have the École des Cordes , but also the Atelier Simonet. In Lyon, there's Lyon Shibari and Baryss Rope . In some cities, you'll find independent instructors , so don't hesitate to do some research!

Practicing in person allows you to gain confidence in your art and to be certain of progressing in a safe environment.

Online courses can also be a good option, as they are often cheaper and more flexible. However, we still recommend attending an in-person workshop or finding a trusted mentor before starting. 

Safety rules before starting a rope game

Let's not forget that shibari is originally a martial art . Like any practice stemming from the broader BDSM family, it requires initiation and strict safety rules.

Practiced hastily and in complete ignorance, rope work can be dangerous.

Here are the basic rules to follow:

1. Never practice these techniques under the influence of drugs or alcohol. You or your partner must be fully present and alert.
   

2. Knowing the sensitive points of the human body , such as the radial nerve in the arm and the humeral nerve in the legs, in order to rule out any risk of paralysis.
   

3. Remain present with your partner throughout your rope session.
   

4. Only friction knots are used in shibari; no slipknots are practiced. Hemp or jute ropes , which are supple, strong, and offer high friction, are recommended. Other materials can slip and cause burns.
   

5. Keep a pair of safety scissors or rope cutters handy to cut ropes in case of emergency.
   

6. The ropes must be 6 to 8 meters long and at least 8 mm in diameter . They may leave marks on the skin, but must never cut into it.
   

7. Before any session, take the time to talk with the person being restrained to clearly understand the limits of their consent. Do not perform any unwanted acts, especially no sexual relations without consent.
   

8. Avoid suspending your partner unless you are an expert and have undergone specific training.

By respecting these rules and taking the time to educate yourself, you will be able to practice shibari safely and fully enjoy this unique experience.

You now have all the key information to take your first steps in the art of rope bondage . Approach shibari with an open mind. Be ready to discover new sensations and new facets of your personality. To continue your adventures beyond conventional sexuality, check out our article dedicated to BDSM .