Have you ever had the feeling that certain words don't have the same meaning when spoken in a sexual context and outside? Perhaps you have even observed that certain usually vulgar terms even had the power to excite you. This is called dirty talk or erotic conversation . Although many of us don't dare talk about it or don't feel capable, trying dirty talk can bring a fun and new dimension to two-person games. Here is a little guide to try it out and see if you like it.

The basics of dirty talk

Dirty talk is a key to making your fantasies come true . By going beyond the prohibitions, it allows you to put words to your deepest desires without being afraid of saying the wrong thing. We can finally express our desires authentically and honestly.

To test, we recommend that you let yourself go and keep it simple.

No need to learn a speech or build a complete role-play scenario:

  • Share how you feel.
  • Say what you want to do.
  • Express what you would like your partner to do to you.

If you're afraid to say it out loud, start small: send text messages. Be teasing and send your message at the best (or worst) time. While your partner is at work or shopping , subtly drop hints about your ardent desires for intimate moments to come.

The main objective of dirty talk is to share pleasure with your partner. Explore what turns you both on and use words that evoke your appetite for each other.

Jenny Block, relationship expert and author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm , explains that “Innovative, meaningful dirty talk takes us out of our daily routine and leads us toward better sexual performance .” She also adds that “Our body can feel something, but if our mind is elsewhere, the pleasure will not be there”.

Verbalizing your desires therefore allows you to bring together the body and the mind, the word and the deed, the desire and the pleasure in one and the same place: the present moment.



Important elements to take into account for dirty talk

Trust

Trust is essential when it comes to dirty talk. Make sure you and your partner feel comfortable and confident with each other in exploring this area.

To create a climate of trust, you can discuss in advance and share your desire to test this practice . Attempts to use crude words or verbalize one's pleasure can sometimes seem clumsy and come off as a surprise when they are initiated spontaneously during the act.

We therefore prevent the other person from feeling insulted or destabilized and we lay the foundations before launching.

The consent

Before starting erotic conversations, make sure you get your partner's consent. Discuss each other's boundaries and preferences to make sure you're both on the same page.

Some people associate certain terms with negativity because of their background or culture. It is essential to be aware of what is appropriate for others and what is not.

Pleasure

As mentioned previously, the very essence of dirty talk lies in the quest for mutual pleasure with your partner . Explore together what stimulates you and don't hesitate to use crude and suggestive language to evoke these sensations that electrify you.

Let yourself be carried away by your desires and share them freely, because it is in this verbal complicity that an even stronger intimacy is woven.


The different styles of dirty talk

The subtle

Use light suggestions and innuendo rather than explicit words.

For example, phrases like " I can't wait to feel your skin against mine tonight " are subtly erotic. This type of dirty talk is perfect if you're just starting out.

The live

Use more crude and explicit language. Tell your partner exactly what you want to do or what you would like them to do to you. For example, " I want you to hold my hips now " is a direct way of communicating your desires.

The romantic

Incorporate sweet words and compliments into your erotic exchanges. Express your affection and desire for your sexual partner in a passionate and romantic way. For example, “ You’re so sexy when you look at me like that. ” adds a romantic dimension to dirty talk.

The dominant

Use an authoritative and commanding tone to express your desire to control the situation . Use sentences when giving commands to explore dominance vs. submission role play. “ Look into my eyes.”,Kiss me ” or even “ Stand there ”.

Encouragement

When your partner does exactly what you want, don't hesitate to tell them! This will help him or her continue and feel valued.Yes, again, right here, just like that!” for example.

Of course, there are more, dirty talk is not limited to these, let your creativity speak , let your imagination take over. You write your own rules.

Our advice for broaching the subject with your partner.

1. Communicate on the subject

We expressed it in the previous paragraph, but it is crucial to reaffirm it : communicating well upstream is essential.

To avoid upsetting your partner with your words, take the time to discuss your limits together and what is comfortable for everyone before you start. Open and transparent communication can help establish common ground and avoid misunderstandings.

Ask him or her what he or she likes to hear or what words come naturally to him or her when you're both lost in the heat of the moment. This is also a good time to share your preferences.

2. Find the right time to talk about it

Talking about sex is often a challenge, so it's normal that the idea of ​​broaching the subject of dirty talk might cause some slight discomfort in you or your partner.

This is why we recommend that you choose the most appropriate time to openly discuss everyone's expectations.

Opt for a time when you are calm and relaxed , without there being too much sexual tension in the air.

You can even schedule a dedicated time for this conversation , so that everyone can think about their position on dirty talk in advance.

Avoid broaching the subject during busy periods at the office or during intense phases of your life.

3. Start gently

If you're both new to this, start with light suggestions and gentle words before exploring more explicit expressions.

This will allow you to create a comfortable atmosphere and gradually gain confidence.

Allow yourself to be awkward and laugh when certain words don't have the desired effect. You are there to have a good time , you should not take this practice too seriously.

4. Accept reluctance

Be understanding if your partner isn't immediately enthusiastic about trying dirty talk. Respect their pace and limits, and give them time to get used to the idea before taking action.

You can deconstruct some preconceived ideas about this practice by explaining, for example, that it is not always dirty words or vulgar expressions.

If the person categorically refuses erotic conversation during the act, you must respect their choice .

5. Show patience and listen

Be patient and listen to each other's reactions during your dirty talk exchanges. Don’t hesitate to ask for feedback to make sure you are both comfortable and enjoying the experience.

A slight nervous laugh may be harmless, but sometimes a word can upset your other half. He or she may not immediately find the words to express what has been bothering them. So observe his or her body language and give him or her time to put into words what he or she felt.

6. Give and receive feedback

Talking about it before is great, but talking about it after is just as important.

Constructive feedback allows you to express what was appreciated and what can be improved for future times. Once the sexual tension and excitement have subsided, you can discuss your experience openly and without judgment .

This promotes better mutual understanding and strengthens the emotional connection between playing partners. You will only be able to do better next time!

If dirty talk has piqued your curiosity for a long time, you have everything you need to finally practice it with your partner ! The experience may seem awkward or artificial at first, but we promise that over time, this practice will bring fun and strengthen intimacy under the sheets. Want to continue exploring together? Why not try masturbation as a couple ?

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