Try dirty talk

Have you ever had the feeling that certain words don't have the same meaning when spoken in private and in public? Perhaps you've even noticed that some usually vulgar terms have the power to arouse you.

This is what's called dirty talk or erotic conversation . Although many of us don't dare talk about it or don't feel capable, trying dirty talk can bring a fun and new dimension to sex. Here's a short guide to try it out and see if you like it. 

The basics of dirty talk 

Dirty talk is key to making your fantasies a reality. By going beyond taboos, it allows you to put words to your deepest desires without fear of saying the wrong thing. You can FINALLY express your desires authentically and honestly.

To test it, we recommend keeping it simple: don't put any pressure on yourself.

No need to learn a speech or build the scenario for a complete role-playing game:

• Share what you're feeling.

• Say what you want to do.

• Express what you would like your partner to do for you.

If you don't dare say it out loud, start small: send text messages . Be playful and send your message at the best (or worst) moment. While your partner is at work or out shopping, subtly drop hints about your burning desire for intimate moments to come.

The main goal of dirty talk is to share your pleasure and desires with your partner. Explore what excites you both and use words that evoke your appetite for each other.

Jenny Block, relationship expert and author of *O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm* , explains that “ Innovative, well-chosen dirty talk pulls us out of our daily routine and leads us to a better sexual experience .” She also adds, “Our body can feel something, but if our mind is elsewhere, pleasure won’t be there. ”

Verbalizing your desires therefore allows you to bring together body and mind, word and deed, desire and pleasure in one and the same place: the present moment.

The keys to dirty talk

Self-confidence and confidence in one's partner

Trust is essential when it comes to dirty talk . Make sure you and your partner feel comfortable and confident with each other to explore this area.

To create a climate of trust, you can talk beforehand and share your curiosity about this new, language- based practice . Using explicit language and verbalizing your pleasure can sometimes seem awkward and out of place…

This prevents the other person from feeling insulted or destabilized, and it establishes the ground rules before proceeding . Moreover, this applies not only to dirty talk, but to any new practice you might want to try in intimate moments.

Consent

Before engaging in erotic conversations , make sure you obtain your partner's consent. Discuss each other's boundaries and preferences to ensure you are both on the same page.

Some people associate certain terms with negativity because of their background or culture. What is appropriate for someone else may not be appropriate for you, and vice versa. 

Sexuality through words

As mentioned earlier, the essence of dirty talk lies in the pursuit of shared pleasure with your partner. Explore together what excites you and don't hesitate to use explicit and suggestive language to describe the sensations that thrill you.

Let yourself be carried away by your desires and share them freely, because it is in this verbal complicity that an even stronger intimacy is woven.

The different styles of dirty talk

The subtle

Use subtle suggestions and innuendo rather than explicit words.

For example, phrases like " I can't wait to feel your skin against mine tonight " are perfect for gradually turning up the heat. This type of dirty talk is ideal if you're just starting out. 

Live

Use more explicit and direct language . Tell your partner exactly what you want to do or what you would like them to do to you. For example, " I want you to grab my hips now " is a direct way to communicate your desires. 

The romantic

Incorporate sweet words and compliments into your erotic exchanges. Express your affection and desire for your sexual partner in a passionate and romantic way. For example, " You're so sexy when you look at me like that " adds a romantic dimension to dirty talk . 

The dominant

Adopt an authoritative and directive tone to express your desire to control the situation. Use command-like phrases to explore the role-playing of dominance and submission. For example, “Look me in the eyes,” “Kiss me,” or “Get there.” Again, make sure beforehand that your partner or lover is comfortable with this type of language.

Encouragements

When your partner does exactly what you want, don't hesitate to tell them! This will help them continue and feel valued. "Yes, again, right here, just like that!" for example.

Of course, there are more examples; dirty talk isn't limited to these. Let your creativity flow, let your imagination take over. You write your own rules. 

Our tips for approaching dirty talk with your partner

1. Communicate on the subject without putting pressure on him/her 

We expressed this in the previous paragraph, but we want to reiterate it: good communication beforehand is essential.

To avoid upsetting your partner with your words, take the time to discuss your boundaries and what's comfortable for each of you before you begin. Open and transparent communication can help establish common ground and prevent misunderstandings.

Ask them what they like to hear or what words come naturally to them when you're both lost in the heat of the moment. It's also the perfect context to express your preferences …even the most secret ones.

2. Find the right time to talk about it

Talking about sex is often a challenge, and some topics (like dirty talk ) can make you feel a little uncomfortable.

Therefore, we recommend choosing the most opportune moment to openly discuss each other's expectations. Opt for a time when you are calm and relaxed, without too much sexual tension in the air, and above all, without any pressure.

You can even schedule a dedicated time for this conversation , so that everyone can reflect on their position on dirty talk in advance.

Avoid bringing up the subject during busy periods at the office or during intense phases of your life.

3. Start gently

If you are both new to this, start with light suggestions and sweet words before exploring more explicit expressions.

This will allow you to create a comfortable atmosphere and gradually gain confidence.

Allow yourself to be clumsy and laugh about it when certain words don't have the desired effect. You're there to have a good time; don't take this too seriously. Sexuality, in general, is about moments of intimacy and connection —don't forget that!

4. Accept your partner's reservations

Be understanding if your partner isn't immediately enthusiastic about trying dirty talk . Respect their pace and boundaries , and give them time to get used to the idea before taking action.

You can deconstruct some preconceived ideas about this practice by explaining, for example, that it is not always about dirty words or vulgar expressions.

If the person categorically refuses erotic conversation during the act, you must respect their choice.

5. Be patient and listen

Be patient and attentive to each other's reactions during your dirty talk sessions . Don't hesitate to ask for feedback to ensure you are both comfortable and enjoying the experience.

A nervous laugh might be harmless, but sometimes a single word can upset your partner. They might not immediately find the words to express what bothered them. So, observe their body language and give them time to put their feelings into words.

6. Giving and receiving feedback

Talking about it beforehand is great, but talking about it afterwards is just as important.

Constructive feedback allows you to express what was appreciated and what can be improved for future encounters. Once the sexual tension and excitement have subsided, you can openly and non-judgmentally discuss your experience.

This fosters better mutual understanding and strengthens the emotional connection between play partners. You can only do better next time!

If dirty talk has piqued your curiosity for a long time, you have everything you need to finally try it with your partner! The experience may seem awkward or artificial at first, but we promise that with time, it will be nothing but happiness and intimacy.

Want to continue exploring together? Why not try masturbation as a couple ?