Moving beyond preconceived ideas about tantra

You have surely already heard of tantra or tantrism. This spiritual approach to sexuality is often accompanied by a whole host of preconceived ideas: tantra is a bit out there, it's about no contact, it's making love through thought…

No, not quite. 

Tantra is an invitation to detach from the pressure to perform and from orgasm in order to approach sexuality from a healthier, slower angle. Before invading yoga studios and seminars for dynamic young professionals, tantra was (and still is) a set of Indian traditions with a true historical and cultural foundation. 

Today, we invite you to journey through the history and promises of tantric sex. We also provide you with some concrete tips if you want to get started. Let's go!

Tantra: is it really all about sex? 

The history of tantra 

The first thing to know is that, originally, tantra is not a sexual practice at all but rather an Indian spiritual approach that had its heyday between the 5th and 7th centuries. 

Yes, tantra didn't wait for sex influencers to become popular!

We summarize the evolution of the practice through the centuries for you: 

• 5th century: formalization of the first definitive tantric texts, such as the Nisvasattavasamhita (try saying that out loud, see?)

• 7th century: Tantric Shaivism becomes a dominant religious force in India. 

• 8th century: Vajrayana Buddhism incorporates some tantric meditative practices. 

• 12th century: key tantra techniques continue to radiate through Buddhist currents. 

• 17th-19th centuries: Western researchers classify tantra as a tradition distinct from Buddhism. 

• 20th century: Osho (an Indian university professor) popularizes "neo-tantra" and draws the first parallels with sexuality. 

• 2020s: tantra still influences Indian spiritual traditions and continues its rise in the West. 

Christian Möllenhoff, a yoga and meditation teacher, offers this definition of tantra: 

“It is a spiritual approach that integrates invocation, ritual, mantra, meditation, and yogic practices to transcend duality and reach higher states of consciousness. Tantra sacralizes all aspects of life, considering them potential paths to spiritual awakening.” 

If that speaks to you, great! If not, don't panic, we'll provide some concrete details. 

How did tantra become a sexual practice? 

Tantra, at its core, was not a matter for the bedroom. It was Osho (yes, him again) who began to bring sexuality and sacred energy together. For him, this sexual energy is not just a driver of desire; it is a powerful force capable of transforming consciousness.

“Osho merged elements of Hindu and Buddhist Tantra with modern psychoanalysis and American New Age spirituality. He explicitly forged the concept of 'Neo-tantra,' presenting sexual pleasure as a path to spiritual consciousness.” Urban Tantra, Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

Then, other figures, such as Margot Anand, expanded the practice with Western movements and references to create a bridge to modern sexuality. In the West, tantra therefore became a sexualized tantra, far removed from its original practice in India, where sexuality was only a small part of a comprehensive spiritual journey.

Unfortunately, this sexualization has sometimes been co-opted by cults or dubious practices, tarnishing the image of tantra. Hence the importance of informing yourself and choosing your teachers with care.

What is the promise of tantra in sexuality?

Strengthening the connection within the couple 

Let's return to the root of the word “tan”: to deploy, to liberate, to extend, to weave. And in sexuality, this translates to expanding your consciousness to reach an unprecedented level of connection with your partner.

Tantra is not limited to physical pleasure: it is about capitalizing on sexual energy to weave a super-strong bond that goes beyond simple contact or classic practices.

If we were to compare it to a modern concept, think of slow sex : you slow down, you savor, you feel. The goal is not to "perform" but to strengthen self-confidence and trust in the couple, and to elevate emotional intimacy to another level.

Transcending the physical body to be in harmony 

Tantra is also a means to reconcile body and mind. As author and speaker Martin Bilodeau says:

“Tantric sexuality invites us to let sexual urges rise while staying in tune with the needs of the heart. It offers the possibility of reconciling these two aspects of the self to allow for authentic encounters with the other within sexuality. These two neighbors can let down their guard and have fun together on this beautiful playground that is your body.” Six keys to experiencing tantric sexuality

Tantra also includes working on your chakras, those energy centers aligned along the spine:

• Muladhara (root): security, stability, grounding.

• Svadhisthana (sacral): sensuality, sexuality, creativity.

• Manipura (solar plexus): self-confidence, willpower.

• Anahata (heart): love, compassion, relationships.

• Vishuddha (throat): communication, self-expression.

• Ajna (third eye): intuition, mental clarity.

• Sahasrara (crown): spiritual consciousness, connection to the divine.

Incorporating tantra into intimacy can reduce stress, calm anxiety, and even revive libido, all while restoring pleasure to a more traditional sexuality.

How to get started with tantrism with your partner? 

Doing simple exercises at home 

No need for silk mats or Tibetan bells: with a little time and patience, you can start exploring tantra at home. The important thing is to be open-minded and willing, and to come together around a new practice.

Some ideas to get started:

• Synchronized breathing: sitting face to face, legs crossed, hands on shoulders or knees, breathe slowly and deeply to harmonize your breaths. If this speaks to you, we suggest other breathing techniques to build desire. 

• Looking into each other's eyes for 5 minutes: simple but powerful. You will learn to truly “see” the other person without looking away.

• Tantric massage : slowly explore every part of your partner's body, with a focus on the pleasure of giving and receiving, without sexual pressure. Use massage oil to prolong pleasure and provide more comfortable sensations. 

These exercises are a real boost for complicity and body awareness.

Signing up for tantra classes 

If you want to take it to the next level, there's nothing like a workshop or training. These classes allow you to get out of your routine, explore the unknown, and practice in complete safety.

Some tips for choosing wisely:

• Verify the teacher’s background and reputation.

• Read feedback from participants.

• Make sure of the setting, rules, and spirit of the workshop.

• Choose an environment where you feel confident and comfortable.

These moments can also be an opportunity to continue to learn and grow with your partner. 

Continuing to inform yourselves, together

To deepen your knowledge and nourish your practice, there are plenty of reliable resources:

• Love, Tantra, and Sexuality: A Path to Fulfillment – Eyrolles: an ultra-modern guide to getting into tantric sex and approaching your intimacy from a whole new angle. 

• Practical Guide to Modern Tantrism by Martin Bilodeau (we mentioned him earlier): breathing techniques and sensual meditation to practice alone or as a couple. 

• Tantrism, Path of Liberation: a great Radio France podcast if you are a novice on the subject and wish to approach it from a high-level perspective before getting into the concrete details. 

• Podcast Vulvée by Alexandra de Lassus Saint Geniès: a testimonial and practical advice to help you envision this new relationship with sexuality. 

Tantra is more than a sexual practice: it is a path toward presence, listening, and sharing, with oneself and with the other. An invitation to transform your intimate encounters into vibrant, conscious, and deeply connected moments.