Postpartum sex: understanding postpartum libido

The postpartum period is a key time for reclaiming your body and your intimacy. That's the short and simple definition. However, this period is by no means a return to normal, but rather a profound transformation of both body and identity. 

It's a suspended time when you're particularly fragile and vulnerable, and when sex can be complicated. Let's be frank: you don't always feel like having sex postpartum…

This article explains what happens to libido after childbirth.

Overcoming the fear of postpartum pain

Before we delve into the depths of postpartum, we want to reassure you.
No, you are not abnormal
No, you don't need to pretend that everything is okay.
No, you are not alone.

According to a sexology manual , 80% of women who gave birth vaginally experience a significant decrease in their sexual desire, and 35% of those who had a cesarean section. 60% report sexual dissatisfaction due to vaginal discomfort.

It is totally normal to feel pain, fear, or fear of experiencing pain.

You're afraid of the pain, that the stitches will come undone, or even of not feeling anything at all. Hormonal changes can also cause vaginal dryness , which makes everything even more complicated.

The medical community recommends waiting six weeks before gradually resuming penetrative sex. However, you are not obligated to resume it immediately , even if you have received the go-ahead from your gynecologist!

When desire returns, seize the opportunity to explore new practices with your partner . Proceed at your own pace, starting with caresses and stimulating new erogenous zones. Embark on a quest for your sensuality with imagination and curiosity!

The priority is to recreate genuine intimacy as a couple amidst the fatigue and the transition to a new life. Every gesture, every tender moment is far more precious than sexual intercourse leading to orgasm. We are certain that you will discover new horizons of pleasure together that will gradually enrich your sex life.

Listening to your body to feel ready postpartum

As is often the case with sexuality: the only rule that exists is to listen to yourself, your sensations and your desires.

The vagina that gave birth to a tiny human weighing a few kilos is sometimes no longer perceived as a haven of pleasure, but as an escape route. Our relationship with it changes, and so do the sensations.

In addition to learning to live with a transformed body, you must more than ever face the duality of the Virgin and the Whore.

Sociologist Michel Billé explains: " By splitting woman into two antagonistic icons — gentle Mary and corrupting Eve —, the Judeo-Christian tradition has always taught us that sexual and maternal happiness were antinomic ."

To move forward during this period of transformation, self-compassion and kindness towards yourself are key . Complimenting yourself and giving yourself small acts of love every day will greatly help you reconnect with your body and mind after giving birth.

Reintroduce intuitive movement such as dance or hormonal yoga to reconnect with your body through mindful awareness.

Caresses and massages are our favorite way to learn to be ourselves, far from the injunctions that weigh on women's bodies.

And what about pelvic floor rehabilitation ? No pressure, you can start it from the 8th week postpartum. Go at your own pace.  

The postpartum period can sometimes be difficult to navigate, as apprehension, guilt, and a drop in self-esteem can cast a shadow over the experience. Time is key to building a fulfilling sex life after childbirth. Patience, imagination, and compassionate communication will be your best allies in this quest for self-discovery. We promise: desire will return!