He Gave Her a Vibrator Without Ever Talking About It: Interview with a Man Who Dared

At Puissante, we often talk about first times: first sex toy, first solo pleasure, first postpartum exploration, first discussion between girlfriends… But this one, we had never addressed before.

And yet, it deserves our full attention: what goes through the mind of a man who gives his partner a vibrator… without them ever having discussed the subject together ? Is it taking a risk? A sign of love? An invitation to discover each other?

Mathieu (a pseudonym used to transcribe the interview anonymously), 50 years old, agreed to share his inner journey and his experiences with us. What he tells us is at once modest, funny, courageous, and profoundly human.

A story we would like everyone to read.

Because it gently and honestly opens up the discussion about intimacy in the couple.

We're giving you all of this below, unfiltered and unedited!

Mathieu's interview: the surprise gift for his wife

1. Was your partner's pleasure a topic you had already discussed together before all this?

“Well, not really, if by pleasure you mean “personal solo pleasure.” We’ve almost never discussed masturbation. ”

2. What prompted you to take the plunge and give your partner a vibrator?

“I haven’t a clue, probably just the desire for my wife to be able to enjoy herself , with a toy she would never have bought for herself. Sex toys are often a source of amusement among friends or colleagues. Very few people admit to using them.”
I've only been able to have a serious conversation about this with two female colleagues, and that was just three or four years ago. As for my wife, she's never mentioned wanting a vibrator, at least not with me. I don't know if she brings it up with her friends. For my part, I was looking for a special Christmas gift, something out of the ordinary, something to surprise her . Continued below…”

3. What emotions did you feel throughout this adventure (from reflection, to choice, to the gift)?

“I thought about it for many weeks. Sometimes delighted by this original idea, sometimes wary and not at all sure how this gift would be interpreted.

I didn't tell anyone, I didn't really do any research online to see if this kind of gift was acceptable or if it might be frowned upon. One day, I made up my mind, went to your website, selected the Coco, added it to my cart , and then my finger hovered over the "checkout" button for a few seconds, still not 100% sure.

I finally took the plunge, thinking, 'So what if my wife doesn't take it well? I had a reason why I was giving her this toy.' The list of Coco's benefits was on your website…”

4. How did you discover Puissante? And why did you choose a product from this particular brand?

“I discovered Coco by chance, when I came across an excerpt from a TV show with Marie and André Manoukian who were testing Coco on the back of his hand.
This is the starting point for this gift idea. I then consulted your website for more details about this item.”

5. After you gave the Coco, did a conversation take place between the two of you? Or did it remain something discreet but symbolic?

“I gave my wife Coco after the guests left for Christmas dinner. Delighted but a little tired from the evening, we debriefed together on this festive time, with a cigarette on the terrace.

I went to retrieve his gift, which was hidden in the cellar. I was trembling; I had thought about it all evening, about this moment that was now here. I couldn't turn back.
I offered it to him, faltering.

She was surprised to receive yet another surprise gift, which she weighed in her hand, wondering what it was. Once the wrapping paper was removed, she took a moment to look at the box, not immediately understanding what it was. Then, she let out a magnificent "ooh!" before giggling for a few seconds, a little embarrassed . I think I remember her even blushing.
She asked me why I wanted this gift. I then explained my hesitation about buying her her first sex toy , but also the benefits of using it. I made it clear that she was free to use it or not, and that I wouldn't ask her any questions about it.
It was at that precise moment that we broached the subject of masturbation, and that she practiced it, sometimes "quick and easy". I was learning something.

She eventually asked me if I wanted us to use it together someday. I replied, "Why not? It's not obligatory, it's your toy. I didn't buy it with myself in mind, but why not?" I know she tried it; she told me one day, in the course of a casual conversation. We haven't discussed it at all since then.

6. In your opinion, do many men like to do this but don't dare? If you could talk to these men, what would you want to say to them?

“I have no idea how many men want to give a sex toy to their partner. We sometimes joke about it amongst ourselves, but nothing serious. Of all my friends, only one knows about my gift. He congratulated me on having the courage to do it, telling me it was a brave act of love . That just goes to show that, as a man, it's not common to dare to take the plunge on this subject. At least, not in my circle. But it's difficult to gauge what constitutes a private matter. Only a survey could give us an idea of the reality on the ground.”

I don't really have anything to say to men; that choice is personal, based on their understanding of others and their instincts. In my opinion, you just have to want to please without imposing anything .

7. If Puissante created a space for discussion or content aimed at men, what would you like to find there?

“That’s a big question, Lola.”

Topics that address what men and women think about sexuality , how to talk calmly about sexuality in a couple , what each person's expectations are, how men talk about sexuality with each other, how women talk about sexuality with each other, how to please a woman/man…

No, frankly, I don't know. Rereading it, I still don't know.

-END-

An intimate story, a universal theme

Mathieu's testimony is invaluable. It touches on modesty, love, curiosity, and the fear of doing something wrong. It shows that a vibrator is not just an object, but a catalyst. A trigger for dialogue, an invitation to personal pleasure, a small grain of sand in the sexual silence of the couple.

He also reminds us that vibrators are not “against” men, but with them . That their place is not necessarily in the bed for two, but that they can enter there gently, respectfully, with that “what if?” that opens the way to possibilities.

Giving a vibrator as a gift is sometimes a way of daring to express an unspoken word of love. And what if that were the most beautiful declaration of love?

Thank you to Mathieu for his trust, his modesty, his accuracy.

If you enjoyed this format and would like to share your story with us, please write to us at hello@puissante.co