Whether it's menstruation or masturbation , taboos have no mercy on women's intimacy. Vaginismus , a disorder encountered by 1% of women, is also a victim. Women who have it often find it hard to talk about it out of shame and guilt. Whether it's primary or secondary vaginismus, this article will help you better understand these disorders that prevent many women from thriving in their sexuality.
Primary/global vaginismus and secondary/situational vaginismus
Despite her desire, a woman with vaginismus will unconsciously contract the muscles of her perineum , to the point that nothing can penetrate her vagina; whether it's a penis, a tampon, a finger, a speculum, a vibro... Sometimes the pain is too intense for anything to penetrate. Even if the desire to have penetrative sex is present, a trauma or a totally unconscious fear will result in this blockage. There are two types of vaginismus: primary or global vaginismus and secondary or situational vaginismus .
Primary or global vaginismus differs from secondary or situational vaginismus in that the woman who experiences it has never had sexual intercourse. This is due to a psychic cause; the person has suffered a trauma related to the genital tract; sexual violence, a disastrous medical appointment, a fall, a lack of information… In summary, it is the fear of pain , to the point that one can speak of a “phobic” disorder. The image of a vagina that is much too narrow compared to the penis is often the image that women have of their intimacy.
A person who has had consensual sex before and later has this disorder has secondary or situational vaginismus. In the same way as global vaginismus, the situational appears following trauma related to the genital system.
“The SVT courses dedicated to sex education made me turn my eye in college. We were told about the " tearing " of the hymen. Sexual life was immediately synonymous with pain for me and, not with "loss", but with the tearing of a part of my body, which then became an open wound.
One afternoon pool with my college friends, I have my period. I am one of the only ones in the group to have already been settled. Those who are also have already put a tampon, they are even followers. Then comes the pressure of the group, especially from these girls who were "the popular" of the college. They tell me that a tampon is nothing, that it's easy to put on, that it doesn't hurt. Our host then rummages through his mother's drawer, looking for a tampon. It's quite impressive the image that I had, I still see it as if it measured about thirty centimeters. I stayed an hour in the toilet trying to put it in place. It was impossible, a real torture. So I gave up and obviously, the next day, in college, everyone knows it, and nobody is being very nice to me. I will always remember the girl in my class who came to see me and told me that her mother had suffered from vaginismus, that I should not worry because it is possible to cure it . »
The first step in curing vaginismus is to understand that this condition is in no way your fault. Many women feel guilty and don't talk about it for this reason.
It has indeed now become possible for many women to cure vaginismus thanks to multiple therapies. You can be followed by a sexologist, gynecologist and/or psychologist. These health professionals will listen to your story in order to understand the origin of the problem and be able to find and give you solutions through psychotherapy. You will (re)learn to (re)tame your body by exploring it. Looking at your private parts with the help of a mirror and masturbating step by step will help you realize that sex is not synonymous with pain. Several exercises to do at home are often recommended, such as relaxation exercises for example. In some cases, hypnosis is also possible.
Once you are able to insert a finger into your vagina, your medical specialist will work with you to decrease the contractions using vaginal dilators.
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Focused on cognition and behavior, cognitive behavioral therapy aims to change negative thoughts and phobias. The therapist accompanies without any pressure towards new guided reflections and interior monologues. This will come in the form of tasks and missions to accomplish.
Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you fight against your internal conflicts, your beliefs and your anxieties. It will also help you to deal with stressful (albeit unconscious) situations such as having anything penetrated your vagina, but also to (re)find your confidence. ❤️
The role of perineal physiotherapy
Accompanied by a midwife or a specialized physiotherapist, perineal physiotherapy also plays a role in curing your vaginismus. Since this is due to the contraction of the muscles of the perineum, it must be (re)worked. In order to facilitate vaginal penetration, gentle stretching of the muscles will allow relaxation. You can also learn “self-massages” there.
Differences between vaginismus, vulvodynia and dyspareunia
While vaginismus is defined by the involuntary contraction of the pelvic muscles which makes any penetration painful, or even impossible due to a psychological mechanism, dyspareunia is a medical term which designates the pain felt during sexual intercourse. Although pain during penetration is the common symptom of these two disorders, the pelvic floor does not contract in cases of dyspareunia, so penetration is possible. Vulvodynia is also synonymous with pain for women who are affected, but only at the entrance to the vagina and labia. The pain occurs spontaneously or due to physical contact.
Vaginismus: what is it, symptoms, solutions - Le journal des femmes
Vaginismus - Health Passport
Vaginismus and dyspareunia: are they the same thing? - Madame Ndanty Badiane- Coach & expert in vaginismus
VAGINISMUS, DYSPAREUNIA AND VULVODYNIA: WHAT THE DIFFERENCES - Psychologist Chloé Bachère
What are the treatments for vaginismus? - Hello Doctors
Vaginismus - Noovo Moi
Dyspareunia: pain during sexual intercourse - Endo France
VAGINISMUS: ALL ABOUT CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS - Blooming
WHAT IS VAGINISMUS? - feel goodPerineal rehabilitation with a specialized physiotherapist or a midwife - The keys to Venus