When it comes to choosing at a restaurant, some of us feel a well-known anxiety: that of making the wrong choice . At times like these, it can be tempting to blame the waiter for not giving better advice or the menu for not being clear enough. Deep down, we know that much of the responsibility for our disappointment lies with us . What if it was the same during our steamy moments? The “sexual menu” is a brilliant tool that promotes communication and thus avoids disillusionment. In this article, we invite you to understand how it works and create yours step by step. Pretty cool, right?
What is a sexual menu?
Having tested it in our younger years, we are clear: telepathy does not exist . Neither we nor our partners are capable of guessing what ignites our desire. Sometimes we just happen to be right or we have common affinities and it's the jackpot. Other times, we are left wanting more.
Good news: it’s not inevitable ! ✨
Inherited from the BDSM universe, the sexual menu is a list of preferences, desires and limits in matters of sex. Submissives usually send it to their dom to prepare for a session. This healthy communication practice then became democratized and is today used in all types of relationships, including exclusive couples.
This menu is your instructions for a powerful orgasm. 📋
OK, taking an hour to create your sex map can seem strangely formal. However, it is a fun and practical tool to nourish our sexual development.
Why concoct your sexual menu?
Facilitate communication about our desires and our limits
The sexual menu offers a structured way to talk openly about what makes us tick and what doesn't. Having a concrete list eliminates the awkwardness often associated with these discussions. It thus allows couples to better understand each other on a sexual level.
Say goodbye to disappointing experiences
By knowing each person's sexual expectations, the sexual menu reduces the risk of misunderstandings between partners . He avoids improvisations which suppress desire and invite a more harmonious and intense sensual ballet. 🤩
Encourages the exploration of new practices
Our sexuality is a big playground. With its many practices and kinks, we could spend our lives studying the field. Having an up-to-date list of what we like and what tickles our curiosity is the key to getting out of your comfort zone. With your partner, it's also an opportunity to keep the flame alive and never get bored.
Know your pleasure better
Taking the time to prepare your menu means giving importance to your desire and regaining power over your limits . Nothing is taboo, nothing is dirty and no one is there to judge your fantasy garden. By having this little list, you will learn to embrace the full spectrum of your pleasure and accept your sexuality as an integral part of your identity. 🤍
Strengthens trust in the relationship
Sharing your desires and fantasies openly and honestly builds trust between partners. In addition to nurturing trust, it is also the intimacy that we develop by daring to open up fully to others . With such a powerful emotional connection, the moments shared between the sheets will be even more ardent. 🔥
Free the floor on sex
Once the sex menu is created, it becomes easier to discuss other sex-related topics . This can encourage frank discussions about sexual needs and desires. Enough to improve the overall communication of the relationship!
How to create your sex menu
List as many sexual activities as possible
This is surely the most laborious part of this exercise. At first glance, making a list of practices seems to be quick. A few positions, our favorites from foreplay and that’s it.
We invite you to go further by taking into account everything that happens before, during and after the relationship . You can also add any act that arouses or cools your desire without it being explicitly sexual.
Lacking inspiration? Refer to the example at the end of the article 👇
Write your list in a spreadsheet or in your favorite notebook. Have a digital version handy so you can easily communicate it with your partner so he or she can come back to it if needed.
There is no universal system for listing your menu. Here is a method made in Powerful which combines several techniques found among dominatrixes and sex therapists.
First, classify your entries into sections. By following the spirit of a restaurant's menu, you can go for a three-course meal.
Starters 🥗 Foreplay: List everything you like, hate, or want to try to build up the excitement. This could be tender gestures, an exchange of sexts or a foot massage for example.
Main course 🍝 The heart of the action: Include elements of the sexual act here, whether specific positions, role plays or particular practices.
Dessert 🧁 After the act: Finally, describe your preferences for afterward, whether it's cuddles, intimate conversations or even a shower together.
Then write down each entry. This can be an “ Oh Yes”, “Never” and “Why Not” or a number from 0 to 5 . 0 represents what you like the least and 5 what excites you the most.
Ready? Grab your pens! 🖋️
Our tips for making the menu your BFF
The more specific you are in your menu, the more useful it will be for you and your partner. Don't hesitate to detail what you like and what you don't like, as well as your fantasies and desires .
If, for example, you like to receive oral pleasure, you can detail how and under what conditions. If hickeys raise your temperature, note their intensity or the parts of the body where you prefer to receive them.
The same goes for what you like to offer your partner. 💕
Talk about it with your partner
Rather than sending your list of preferences as a surprise, first explain to your partner what a sexual menu is and why you think it's an interesting idea.
Invite him to participate by presenting it as an exercise that is as fun as it is necessary to get to know each other. You can even link this article to him if you are afraid of not finding the words. 😉
Keep your sex menu up to dateWould you be ready to wear your favorite outfit from your 15th birthday again? We bet not. When it comes to pleasure, tastes also evolve based on our personality and our experiences. Your sex life is not fixed , and what was exciting a few years ago may no longer be exciting today, while new desires and curiosities may emerge.
So come back to your cherished list as soon as you notice a change in your preferences . An up-to-date sex menu is the guarantee of a sexuality that is as stimulating as it is fulfilling. 🙌
An example to inspire you
|Kissing with tongue in public||
|Clitoris sucker||Want to test|
|Be naked with the light on||3|
|Be naked with the lights off||4|
|Take a shower together||5|
|Ice cubes||Want to test|
We have now reached the end of the guide. Congratulations ! You regain power over your sexuality and assert your desires. That’s what it means to be a Powerful woman! The sexual menu is a big step forward for one's sexual esteem. We share other tips for boosting it in this article . 😘