Higher sexual esteem makes us more adventurous, more fulfilled , and more willing to ride the wave of pleasure . In this article, we tell you a little more about sexual self-confidence and we give you some tips to boost it .
What is sexual esteem?
We all know what self-esteem is: how we judge ourselves . It is largely built during childhood, but fluctuates as life events unfold.
The image we have of ourselves influences our behavior with others, our posture, our tone, our ambition, etc.
Sexual esteem is the same thing applied to the context of our sexuality . It is the distorting mirror that we hold up to gauge our sexual self.
We can never repeat it enough: sex is a story of the brain and emotions much more than mechanics and fluids.📢
Sexual esteem is therefore the thoughts and beliefs that we feed through our experiences. It is also the value that we give to our way of connecting with our partners, with ourselves, where we place ourselves in our general vision of sexuality.
The whole point of working on sexual esteem is to integrate it into the overall image that we have of ourselves.
The more you are in love with your sensuality, your sexuality and the more you will accept that your sexuality is more normal , the more your general confidence will be impacted . We are sure of it: we took the test! 🤩
What factors influence sexual confidence?
Sexual confidence is the result of a myriad of interconnected factors that give us a consistently biased self-image.
They can be grouped into two large families, on the one hand the emotional factors and on the other the cultural factors .
Emotional factors are directly related to our inner world, what we have experienced as fulfilling or limiting. From these experiences, we draw conclusions which, over time, turn into beliefs. 🧠 It can range from survivor trauma to the curious pleasure of first times .
Cultural factors are the already formed beliefs passed on to us by family, media and doctors . For example, in France, sex education boils down to risk-taking relationships that can lead to pregnancy or illness. Depending on those around you, sex can be perceived as dirty, impure, taboo, while the media presents a hypersexualization of bodies and behaviors.
Taking stock and identifying these factors is a first step towards regaining control over your sexual self-confidence . ☀️
How to improve your sexual esteem?
Reconnect to your body
The first step to boosting sexual confidence is getting back to the body.
Our days are invaded by to-do-lists and injunctions to performance . At work, at home, in society and in bed, we have to be more, do more and this causes a mental load that we would do well without. 📅
The brain becomes the master on board , it juggles between the regrets of the past and the pressure of the future. Not cool when you just want to enjoy an intimate moment alone or with others.
Anchoring in your body allows you to regain possession of it, to put thoughts on hold to simply feel. 🧘
Reconnecting to your body can go through:
- breathing exercises such as cardiac coherence
- visualizations like the body scan
- intuitive dancing to your favorite sound
- sleep naked
- a mindful meal
There are as many ways to fully experience sensations as there are sensitivities. We strongly recommend that you test different approaches to see which ones resonate the most with you.
You can then establish a ritual every day, every week or every full moon night to maintain the relationship with your body. 🤍
Go through writing
The written word works wonders when it comes to exploring our depths and investigating the barriers to our sexual self-esteem.
Journaling allows you to write down your thoughts, follow their thread and let them guide you to answers. ✒️
You will first be able to study the various received ideas or the things that you hold to be true in the field of sexuality.
For example: women cannot have an orgasm or conversely, a woman takes pleasure loudly . Nobody likes to see my curves because it's not sexy or if I say no, they'll think I'm stuck.
Once you have identified and articulated these beliefs, you can see where they are coming from . 🔎 Are they inherited from someone , a relative, a friend, a partner, a movie? Or rather a specific situation that took place more or less a long time ago?
Then take the time to see how you can reframe that belief with kindness . Of course, we don't go from “ My body doesn't deserve to be loved ” to “ I'm a hottie who receives love from everyone I meet ”. It's like a muscle, self-esteem gets stronger little by little. 💪
You can reformulate it as an intention “ I want to be more comfortable in my body and wear the Bordelle outfit that makes me dream so much. Then, when you're comfortable with this idea, move on to the next step " I can see myself being comfortable in my body and I'm going to order the Bordelle set ". Then “ I can be comfortable in my body and wear the Bordelle outfit ”. Until arriving at “ I am comfortable in my body and I wear the Bordelle outfit ”.
To your pens!
At Puissant, our mission is to give you back your power by showing that what you think is a flaw is completely normal.
To smash the received ideas that hinder a fulfilling sexuality, we offer you education as an antidote .
We have access to many resources whether social, philosophical or scientific to bring a new perspective on our sexuality. 🖱️
For those who want to go in depth, we have prepared a list of books that question our conditioning in the areas of beauty, periods and sexuality. It's this way.
The advantage of our time is that the internet allows us to access an infinity of content, testimonials and other people's journeys. We can thus find those whose experience and perspective on sexual confidence allow us to move forward in our own journey.
Like self-confidence, sexual esteem is worked on and improved when you take the time to take care of it . As awareness and actions of self-love progress, we discover ourselves and we learn to accept ourselves unconditionally . We, we wish you beautiful explorations to meet your sexual personality and above all to finally feel "enough" . 😘