You thought gender equality in relationships came down to sharing household chores ? Perhaps even as a woman educated in issues of sexism in society, you are vigilant enough to ensure that your relationships are egalitarian. And yet, the roles and behaviors between men and women are still very gendered . This is called the Romance Gap , the romantic gap in French. Much more than a neologism made in Gen Z, the concept puts the finger on a long hidden phenomenon within heterosexual couples. From dating to long-term monogamous relationships, gender stereotypes also permeate the love sphere.
Gender stereotypes applied to love life
Dating app Bumble originated the term, describing the Romance Gap as an "expected difference in behavior between male and female gender-identifiers in relational and romantic contexts." »
In other words, we receive a lucky bag with different attitudes to adopt depending on our gender to find someone. 💕
In a European survey conducted by YouGov for Bumble of 6,770 adults, nearly half of respondents said they felt pressure from gender stereotypes in their romantic relationships. For these 47%, this prevents them from building egalitarian relationships.
Unsurprisingly, women are the most affected by the Romance Gap. 33% of women surveyed even admit to having changed their behavior so that their partner feels more in control of the situation. We can do better! 💪
What is the romance gap like?
When looking at the universe of dating through the lens of the Romance Gap, one realizes that it is ultimately a very codified nuptial dance . Each is assigned a particular role. If all goes well, who knows maybe they will have access to eternal love?
Men must be enterprising , propose the first date. Also according to the study, 1 in 5 people believe that a man must insist on having the one he wants. Finally, to enter the codes, a man must earn more than his companion. 💼
Women, on the other hand, should be careful not to send too many messages or they may come across as desperate or even clingy. They also have the injunction to remain rather passive in the decisions, as if she had to answer rather than initiate. 🕊️
Can't you help but remember times when we followed these scenarios without being aware of them? U.S. too. Good news, we have all the power to change this dynamic! ✨
How to make relationships more equal
Opening the conversation and sharing your feelings with your partner is the best way to free yourself from these gendered chains and give free rein to seduction .
Approach the subject without gravity or guilt . Whether it's in a long relationship or a flirtation, you have the right not to want to exhaust yourself playing a role. 🎭
The more specific you are about the situations you would like to see changed, the more equality it will be possible to create.
If you don't want to carry all the burden of finding solutions, invite your partner to participate in the brainstorming. He may have noticed certain behaviors that he did not dare to share with you, because he himself was restricted in his role as a mute man.
Knowing how to set limits
Once you've opened up the conversation about gender stereotypes in relationships, it's time to share what you agree or disagree with .
To find out, we recommend a moment of introspection and exploration . In what areas did you want to look like a “cool, no-nonsense girl”? What would you have done if you didn't have that pressure on your shoulders? 🍃
By clearly stating your expectations and desires, you regain power and give two human beings a chance to discover each other in all their authenticity.
Although the Romance Gap has come to the fore recently, we all share experiences where our actions have been dictated by gender stereotypes. It's high time to drop the injunctions to be the perfect girlfriend . Do you want to be fully yourself in your relationship, and if you start by boosting your sexual esteem ? 😉