Positive sexuality ? No more taboos! Although the floor is free, the exchanges on the reports generally fall into two categories. The first based on performance . The second on the problems encountered during intercourse.
The current of positive sexuality ( sexpositive in English) presents sexuality as an integral part of our personal fulfillment. It encourages a change in attitude and rejects current standards of performance and conformism. Having a satisfying sex life is a real step towards well-being. As you will surely have understood, this is the whole approach of Powerful.
In this article, we try to answer the question "what is positive sexuality?" concisely .
What is positive sex?
We could define positive sex as an attitude towards human sexuality that views all consensual activities as healthy and pleasurable. It encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.
As its name suggests, positive sex is based on the idea that sex is not a degrading, negative and taboo subject.
There are different definitions of positive sex. But the foundation of the movement is the recognition of sexuality, in its myriad forms of expression, as a natural part of the human experience. 🍃
This therefore includes:
- gender expression
- sexual orientation
- the relationship to the body
- choice of relationship style
- reproductive rights
- how sex education is taught in school
In short, positive sex seeks to change negative perceptions about relationships and empower all individuals to control their sex life.
As long as all partners enthusiastically consent to intercourse , being sex positive leads to safer sex and increased pleasure for everyone involved. 👌
Sex is not a performance
distorted eroticism
Do you know that there are Air Sex competitions? As with the Air Guitar, participants mime a sexual act with an invisible partner. As the brilliant Stark Raving points out, Eric Clapton has never participated in Air Guitar tournaments. A good guitarist is not an air guitarist, and good sex is not Air Sex . Besides, remember that sex is not a competitive sport.
Moreover, for most of us, our sexual imagination was built, directly or not, via pornography . When it comes to mainstream heterosexual pornography, the man asserts his manhood by going ever faster, ever deeper, and ever louder. He must make "his female" cry out at all costs. 🦁
The woman, meanwhile, must arch her back, moan sensually without shouting . She must reach orgasm on time and above all, be a champion of fellatio and sodomy.
Therefore, the pressure on the shoulders of the couple is enormous. Some even claim to mentally repeat the scene before , to be sure not to miss. Relationships quickly shift from pleasurable experiences to sources of anxiety and blockages.
Rest assured, sex is not a competition for orgasm, stamina or inches. 🤍
A matter of presence
The goal of the sex-positive movement is to get rid of clichés about sexuality.
Sex is not about performance, but about presence.
It's an intimate moment shared alone, in twos, threes, fours, twenty, where everyone is involved in their entire being . Everyone allows themselves to be themselves, vulnerable and with an open heart, ready to give, as well as to receive.
Safe sex
Safer sex practices
Safe sex is a major part of thinking about positive sexuality. “Safe” naturally means protection with condoms, screening for sexually transmitted infections and contraception, but it goes beyond physical health. ☔
The concept of safe sex can also include conversations about partners' sexual history ; as well as emotional and psychological safety, such as supporting a partner with sexual dysfunction or a history of sexual abuse.
Emphasis on emotional safety
In terms of emotional safety, it means having fun with a partner you feel comfortable with and in a stimulating environment .
Partners feel inspired to express their fantasies and desires in an open, honest and authentic way. Of course, trust is an essential quality in a healthy sexual relationship. 💌
Safe sex also places importance on education , as most mistakes are the result of ignorance. By embarking on a process of positive sexuality, the partners strive to destroy the myths surrounding the relationship .
❌ Some myths surrounding sexual practices
"He didn't appear to have an STD"
“You don't feel anything with the hood. »
“Lesbians can't get STDs. »
“It's a shame to use lube, I don't wet enough. »
“Don't worry, coconut oil works well as a lubricant with the condom. »
“ Masturbation while in a relationship is almost cheating. »
Don't panic, we've prepared an article for you with our favorite resources to (re)learn how to have fun.
Communication first
No positive sexuality without communication between partners. Addressing sexuality before, during and after your sexual experience only enriches the connection between participants and leads to more intense moments.
In short, communicating your desires , your consent and your limits to your partner(s) is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Maybe one day you'll be in the mood to try bondage and you won't feel like it the next day. Maybe your partner wants to guide you in how you please her. Maybe what you do with one partner you don't like with another.
Warning: sex positivity does not mean having an oversized libido or being ready to test everything all the time. Being sex positive is not synonymous with a permanent desire for sex, nor even with mandatory sensuality.
Sex positive rule number 1: do what you please
Our relationship to pleasure, our desires are intimate and part of our personality. The positive sexuality movement highlights the fact that there are an infinite number of sexualities , as many as there are people on this planet. Rules and strict codes have no place in the expression of desire.
It is to accept his desires and also those of others who differ from ours.
As you will have understood, tolerance is the key word both for oneself and for others.
As long as our naughty fantasies and desires are practiced in a healthy and consenting environment , nothing is "perverse", "twisted" or "disgusting".
🪄 Some ideas to change your perception of sex as a codified activity:
- sexuality is a valid form of self-expression
- having fetishes doesn't mean being weird
- a sexual relationship can have other goals than orgasm
- it is possible to change your mind about our desire at any time (even during intercourse)
For Puissant, this current is an invitation to emancipate ourselves and affirm our sexuality . Whether we are a cisgender, transgender or genderfluid man and woman, in an exclusive, polyamorous or single relationship. It also includes people with little or no desire, such as asexuals. Positive sexuality invites us all as individuals to express our desires, to explore our pleasure as well as to learn to refuse what we do not want. 😍
