A man who masturbates is “logical” “normal” “he needs it” “these are impulses”. And why don't we have the same speech for a woman? Why is it not seen as a need, a normal desire? 🧐
“Masturbation among men is more normalized. Whereas among women, it is seen as something dirty and shameful. –Stéphanie Beaudet, sexologist.
In terms of female masturbation , we come a long way. “In the collective imagination, it has always been normal for a man to masturbate out of need, out of urge, but a woman who touched herself was traditionally considered perverse, hypersexual . She didn't have to do good for herself, she had to relieve her husband,” explains Caroline Le Roux-Poirier, sexologist and clinical psychologist.
This is due to the mentalities of the time, indeed, it was very frowned upon to masturbate in the eyes of the Judeo-Christian religion. According to Freud, stimulating her clitoris as an adult was “childish”. Even now, many received ideas circulate, such as for example that masturbation “makes you deaf”.😵💫
However, masturbation begins in childhood, in fact, children begin to discover their bodies, they learn and discover new sensations. This implies not being offended, not scolding the child who touches himself, and, above all, explaining to him that no one, neither an adult nor even a boyfriend or girlfriend, has the right to touch his body if he/she doesn't want to. It's important to instill consent from an early age. 💬
In France, we would be 54% to practice masturbation against 3/4 among Dutch women (according to IFOP in 2015).
Yet according to studies, masturbation reduces stress, prevents infections of the cervix, strengthens the pelvic floor, helps sleep, stimulates the immune system, improves depressive states and is a safe sex practice. 🤩
In addition to having therapeutic virtues , masturbation helps to know your body, it is an appointment with yourself, it allows you to strengthen your self-confidence, discover your personal pleasures and find yourself.
Masturbation is also an ego boost! It is a feeling of independence and control of one's own pleasure, one's body, one's desires.
Masturbation gives lively, quick pleasure, almost for sure. “You can reach orgasm in not even two minutes, says Françoise, 43 years old. Sometimes I do it just before falling asleep, and it's crazy what a good night I have! »
But masturbation also helps reduce menstrual pain : dopamine , called the pleasure hormone, is released in the body during orgasms and even while you masturbate. This has the effect of providing a feeling of comfort. In other words, orgasm has a relaxing effect. This is what causes the decrease in menstrual pain. At the same time, other mechanisms relating to increased blood circulation contribute to cooling menstrual pain. Read more in our article “Masturbation during menstruation”
With a ballet of gestures and caresses, we gently reclaim our body. For some, it even takes the form of a ritual to regain sensuality and full power.
This self-knowledge at your own pace is also a powerful way to frame what you love. This is how one establishes one's own values around masturbation and how one defines what pleasure is for oneself and by oneself. This then facilitates communication with his or her partner during intercourse.
Despite all these benefits, many women still do not dare to take the plunge, for several reasons, such as family culture, religion, shyness...
Couple masturbation 🫂
In a couple, women no longer dare to masturbate for fear of offending their partner, but masturbation is not a sign of sexual failure in the couple, it can even be practiced in a couple. Masturbation and partnered sex are actually two very different things. They can of course join, but they generally meet different needs or desires.
One might also think that single women masturbate more. However, according to an Ifop survey (Female Pleasure, 2017), women in relationships continue to masturbate at almost the same frequency.
However, for a woman to talk about it within her couple, she must feel reassured. And not be afraid of the reaction of his (her) partner, who would judge this act as the "replacement" of an unsatisfactory sexuality.
All the surveys show the difficulties that women have in admitting their solitary pleasures. As if that could reflect a form of compulsive sexuality.
According to the IFOP study, nearly 45% of women in a relationship have never spoken to their partner about masturbation. The 18-25 year olds seem to have more freedom of speech, they talk about it a little more within their couple.
One could suspect it, if we assumed to have recourse to masturbation for an investigation, in everyday life, it is not the subject that comes up the most!
However, talking about it to your partner would also make it possible to communicate more about desires during sex, everyone's preferences, the things that connect us less: discovering your pleasures solo in order to share them as a duo !
Some simply do not dare to assume it, fear of judgment, dishonor...
Léna, 30 years old, designer, had her first orgasmic click at 11 years old. She experiences with joy "the little thrill caused by his caresses".
Very quickly, the pleasure provided is assumed. But twenty years later, she observes that many of her friends think that it "is abnormal to come alone". She is surprised but understands: "We have always been told that a woman is supposed to flourish sexually in the couple. We still grow up with this idea that she just needs a man to be happy. If she masturbates, it is that she is probably a little frustrated, or downright nymphomaniac"
How to have fun? 💡
French women also use sexual arousal media : porn sites , erotic books, sex toys, etc. In 2017, 49% of women admitted to having already used a sex toy, which shows the growth of this market.
Sexual representations have evolved, as have the associated products. Since the 2000s, with online sales sites, then the various city center shops, supermarkets or even love shops, the choice is great!
Sex toys, there are thousands and hundreds. Choosing your first vibrator can be crossed by a lot of doubts and hesitation.
At Puissant, we have created Coco , which will allow you to exercise internal and external stimulation according to your desires and preferences. Equipped with ten modes for each function, it bends as you wish to adapt to your morphology and be penetrating or not. It has been specially designed to be a first sex toy since its different intensities and modes will help you take your time and discover what really gives you pleasure.
Use a vibrator as a couple? 🙈
There are several reasons why you may want to use an object during sex. First of all, they bring something new to your couple and allow you to discover new sensations, together. They can easily fit into your erotic games by becoming your new partner. Indeed, vibrators will stimulate the libido and help you to sensitize your erogenous zones more and more.
Coco is specially designed to allow a perfect fit between the two of you. During heterosexual intercourse, you can introduce the vibrating part into the vagina; your partner will also feel the vibrations and enjoy closer stimulation if you practice penetration. On the contrary, the woman can stimulate her clitoris with the sucking part and vibrate the object on the glans/frenulum of the penis at the same time. In the same way, penetration with the partner remains possible!
This vibrator is perfect for intercourse between women; one stimulates her clitoris, the other stands above to penetrate the toy. 💦
Fortunately, things are changing: masturbation is not just a matter of men! There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Discover yourself, yourself and your pleasures! 🥰
EAT, DRINK, MASTURBATE!
Sources
- https://www.lesinrocks.com/actu/pourquoi-la-masturbation-feminine-est-elle-encore-un-sujet-tabou-45660-05-08-2017/
- https://theconversation.com/happy-news-masturbation-actually-has-health-benefits-16539
- https://www.psychologies.com/Couple/Sexualite/Masturbation/Articles-et-dossiers/Masturbation-feminine-tabou-ou-secret
- https://www.20minutes.fr/podcast/3070147-20210625-masturbation-feminine-toujours-also-taboue
- https://www.marieclaire.fr/,la-masturbation-feminine-est-elle-encore-taboue,827518.asp
