Female rivalry is a complex phenomenon that is still pervasive in our lives. This belief that other women are an enemy to be defeated is not innate, but a social construct. To remedy this, we decided to analyze its roots and propose concrete solutions to put an end to the rivalry between women.
The Roots of Female Rivalry
We don't hide it from you, it's complicated to trace the history of the injunctions that weigh on women.
But we know that for centuries and even today in some countries, women were considered minors , legally attached to a man.
To survive socially and physically, they passed from the authority of the husband to the father by making a “good marriage” .
To achieve this goal, a young girl had to be the most attractive and easy-going . Without this status, a woman is relegated to the rank of virgin or whore . A great classic on which Madonna has built a career! 👑
One thinks of the Bennett sisters of Pride and Prejudice, of the four daughters of Doctor March or even of the protagonists of Dowtown Abbey sometimes torn between the love of a commoner, ambition and finding a husband capable of meeting his needs.
The canons of beauty have thus developed , taking precedence over the comfort and personal development of women. A prettier woman with rounder hips and a rosier mouth was quickly becoming a contender in the race for a husband. 🥊
This preoccupation with beauty and delicacy thus became an important factor in female rivalry, fueled by a social conditioning that persists today. Hobbies like make-up or fashion that today are presented as superficial could decide a woman's future.
Gender stereotypes continue to tell us that women are emotional, irrational or manipulative . This only fosters distrust of each other and causes us to behave defensively or aggressively in competitive situations.
In short, "girls make a fuss" is one hell of a myth to deconstruct , but we're not afraid of the task! 💪
How to deconstruct the war between chicks?
Questioning his behavior
The first step to knocking out an injunction? Take her in hand.
It's time to face our own behaviors with a good dose of benevolence. When and how do we help fuel female rivalry?
Is it by sending screenshots of our ex's new girlfriend to our friends? Is it by trying to devalue her work colleagues to be perceived as "a woman like no other" by management? Or is it just social media mentally criticizing a celebrity's body? 🤩
Once this inventory is done, you can congratulate yourself. This is a step that requires a lot of courage , the other women are grateful to you! 💙
Now explore the messages and beliefs you have received.
Are they constructive? Do they guide towards the emancipation of women where each can live her life and love her body as she sees fit? Or on the contrary, are they based on dusty stereotypes and restrictive norms?
You now have the power to decide what you keep and what new beliefs you want to embrace . This is being fully Powerful. 🔥
A taste of sorority
They say experience is the best teacher. So, go in search of concrete examples of a daily life without female rivalry .
Beyond her circle of friends, we can find spaces for support and exchange between women . They are precious places to build positive links, create connections and help each other.
These spaces can take different forms, such as support groups, feminist clubs or associations, networking events, or even Facebook groups or online forums. 👯
Personal development workshops, meditation or yoga circles and artistic activities are also examples of spaces where women can come together to exchange and share their experiences.
Take back control of your feedWhen algorithms favor unreal bodies where angle, filter and editing play a central role , loitering on TikTok or Instagram quickly becomes toxic to our mental health.
These platforms create a competitive environment, where women are constantly comparing themselves to each other in terms of beauty, lifestyle, professional success. They amplify the idea that we are not enough or that we do not have enough. Jealousy and female rivalry set in accompanied by a strong feeling of insecurity. Not crazy. 👎
The good news ? You can regain control over your feed with a Marie Kondo-style sorting of your subscriptions. Keep accounts that give you entertainment, education and pleasure and delete those that cause negative emotions.
Bring as much diversity as possible into your newsfeed to reflect reality. You can search for new accounts and different voices. Trap the algorithm by refusing to enter a box! Follow accounts with unique bodies, diverse life experiences to nurture a broader view of what women are like today. ✨
Addressing the subject of female rivalry around you is as delicate as it is liberating . By better understanding the conditioning that pushes us to act in this way and by recognizing the value of another, we take back the power and we share it . Do you still have a little energy to tackle other taboos? Read our article on the myth of virginity. 🔥