Our brain is the epicenter of desire and pleasure . Thanks to him we can feel and above all imagine. Our unconscious is a veritable factory of erotic stories that nourish and color our imagination. Yet we rarely dare to explore them. Subjects that are still taboo, fantasies are still too often repressed , considered deviant and sometimes bring shame. Are they meant to be done? Can we share them with our partners? In this article, we bring a little light into the still too dark world of fantasies.
What is a fantasy?
No definition without etymological root!
The word "fantasy" has its origins in ancient Greek, derived from the word φα ́ντασμα, meaning "hallucination", "appearance" and even "ghost". Its use has evolved throughout history, passing through the Latin “phantasma”, which means “ mental image” or “illusion” , to finally take its current form in French.
In short, a fantasy is a mental representation whispered to our imagination by our subconscious . It is a projection of our desires, our repressed traumas and our most intimate anxieties. To help us process all this dramatic energy , the unconscious transforms it into imaginative scenarios . As if our interior garden had a cinema to watch films produced in the studios of our imagination. 📽️
Although according to Freud, fantasies originate in sexual impulses , they are not only oriented towards sexuality. We can fantasize about security and wealth as well as erotic adventures.
They can involve real people, fictional characters, places, situations or imaginary scenarios . You have the right to fantasize about your next door neighbor as much as you do about Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars.😉
In this article, we have chosen to focus on sexual fantasies which are a natural and healthy expression of our sexuality.
Being in touch with our fantasies allows us to:
- Safely explore our desires
- Develop our erotic imagination
- Improve our sexual creativity
- Reduce sexual pressure
- Stimulate our imagination
- Get to know us
- Serve as a temporary distraction to reduce anxiety
Question your fantasies to get to know yourself better
Depending on our background and our personality, fantasy can be a source of inspiration or of guilt and stress.
When we face our fantasies, we navigate between the intense desire they arouse in us and the limits that seem to hold us back. These fantasies thus pass before several instances of judgment: our own moral code, social and moral norms and injunctions and our personal ideal.
If the desire projected in our fantasies overpowers these limits with irresistible force, it can be difficult to curb them . Conversely, if anxiety or guilt becomes overwhelming, we may be led to sacrifice our most intimate daydreams.
The secret ? Tame them and see them like a distorting mirror of what we are. We need to de-dramatize them and embrace them as a normal part of our experience as women.💖
After all, fantasies are a sign of vibrant life energy . That's pretty good news, isn't it? This form of creativity is proof that we are ready to embrace life to the fullest. Taking the time to listen to your fantasies with the help of sulphurous audios, readings or even erotic writing is a form of self-care.
They push us to discover ourselves , to offer ourselves parentheses (real or imaginary) just for us and to understand our needs . For example, behind the fantasy of submission often lies the need to let go , to take a break from one's hectic daily life and to rely on others to take care of oneself. Sometimes exhibition scenarios emphasize our need to be seen and approved by others. Let's be curious! 💪
Should we live out our fantasies?
To make it short: it’s up to you! The question of realizing fantasies arises from a reflection that is very personal to you.
Some secret desires are meant to be fulfilled and others to remain in the realm of imagination. 🤴
Fantasies can be an exciting source of exploration for some of us, helping us better understand our sexuality and embrace who we are. Transposing them into real life takes us out of fantasy and the games of the unconscious.
Often a realized erotic scenario bears no resemblance to what we imagined . You must then be able to cherish it as a real experience . The atmosphere is not always so sensual, our partner's actions and sensations will surely be different than in the theater of our mind.
Conversely, it is essential not to use fantasies as a way to escape reality . In such situations, denial can easily set in and cause us to lose touch with the world around us.
Understanding how our fantasies are constructed allows us to readjust them so that they bring satisfaction without becoming uncontrollable obsessions . It's not necessarily about living out every fantasy, but rather finding healthy ways to express the drive energy that accompanies them. 🔥
Fantasies are an integral part of our sex life. Products of our erotic imagination, they are a reflection of our vital energy and our creativity . Let's listen to our fantasies, tame them and find healthy ways to express them, while remaining connected to the reality around us. For a first contact with your inner cinema library , why not try the sexual menu exercise ? We tell you everything here. 🍲