Your sexual activity is on the decline and you feel less desire to share this moment with your partner. Sexual activity is impacted by various factors. It can be the emotional state, the physical health but also and especially of the sexual desire. Nevertheless, do not panic, many natural solutions allow you to find your normal rhythm of passion and to boost the female libido .
Definition of libido:
Still qualified as sexual desire , the libido remains for most people a subject that is quite misunderstood. Yet it is a notion that is involved in the life of every adult person. Libido - or sexual desire - refers to both psychoanalytic and biological behavior. It is moreover for this double facet that many people find that it is a fluctuating notion. In his psychoanalytical approach the libido is an energy that is based on sexual drives . It is therefore relative to the thoughts emitted by our mental strength and relative to sexuality. On the other hand, on a biological level, sexual desire is a desire, a need that one satisfies by having intimate relations, alone or accompanied.
Thus, its rise leads to a regular desire to have sex. Conversely, its decline is caused by an absence or a lack of interest in sex. As a concept specific to the human race, the libido is present in both men and women. It is dependent on the emotional state, the relationship in the couple, physical fatigue and finally age.
Sexual desire disorder: what explanations?
1. Drug sources
If you feel that the flame of your sexual appetite is restricted, various factors can justify the disorders of sexual desire . First, the problem may be from drug sources . Indeed, taking antidepressants has, in most cases, a tendency to lower libido and sexual desire. Reputed to fight against depression, these drugs act against sadness. These products therefore aim to improve the mood of the person who consumes them but can end up rubbing off on the sexual appetite .
2. Birth control pills
Then, birth control pills can increase sexual desire disorders in women. If you think that these tablets only protect you from pregnancy, know that they also influence your libido and therefore your sexuality. In reality, the decline in sexual activity of course implies less chance of getting pregnant. The pills protect you but at the same time reduce your attraction to sexual activity. Hormones are largely responsible for sexual drive. Thus, their regulation through pills leads to a loss of natural sexual desires. To make sure that a drug will not produce adverse effects on your habits and your sexual rhythm, be sure to read the instructions and, if necessary, discuss it with your doctor or with a sexologist.
3. Doubts and Thoughts
Moreover, doubt, stress, anxiety and erroneous thoughts justify disorders of sexual desire. Sexual desire is first and foremost closely linked to our impulses, our thoughts. Thus, the more you feed your imagination, the more you will be driven by desires to materialize your desires. It's like everything, thinking about certain things starts the machine of the brain. If you never think about it, nothing happens.
As such, cultivating negative thoughts will lead to a lower level of interest in communing with your partner. You should therefore try to avoid ideas that tend to lower your self-esteem. Avoid for example ''will I reach orgasm'' or ''will I not annoy my.my partner''. These ideas block you and prevent you from living the passion of the present moment. Especially since it is a privileged moment, you must avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Fight the idea that your performance determines your partner's idea of you because anxiety and fear reduce libido and above all because it's not performance, again. The search for orgasm at all costs has no interest if you do not enjoy the moment with your partner and will have the opposite effects to the initial quest for pleasure.
What is the difference between male and female libido?
This question comes up often and sometimes leads to confusion. In reality, there is no real difference between female and male libido.
- These two human genders emit impulses and have urges that cultivate natural sexual desire. For this, both men and women can have a low or high libido . In women, the period of menstruation or that of ovulation are considered to stimulate sexual desire . This reality is linked to the level of estrogen in the blood because this hormone will increase cravings and erotic impulses. In men it is testosterone which is the main cause of sexual desire.
- Age also remains an element of difference between male and female libido. Indeed, for men, the period of puberty marks the awakening of libido and testosterone, and remains constant until the age of 50. It is after the golden wedding that sexual desire gradually declines. As for ladies, arousal may take place much later and may or may not stop or decline as menopause approaches.
Contrary to popular belief, men do not have a more active natural sexual desire than women due to their biological conformation. They have no more erotic thoughts than women; and their desire is formed in the same way, thanks to the release of hormones . They may also have periods when the libido is down, and that's normal!
It is also mistakenly thought that women have a more often subdued libido and are less interested than men. However, sexologists are formal, this is not the case and whatever the sex, the libido is almost similar. It is unique to each person.
The impact of a couple's good health on libido
Far too often ignored, the good health of the couple is the centerpiece that impacts the libido. You cannot plan to share a moment of intimacy with your partner if the current and the conditions are not favorable. Many sexologists argue that to have a full libido , the state of the relationship between the couple is decisive. For good reason, the sexual bond is first and foremost an activity requiring two partners. In this sense, the discomfort of one or his lack of openness for sexuality will be a major obstacle. Thus, you need to set up an ideal and favorable context to stimulate sexual desire and without making any effort your libido will be boiling.
Sometimes women's desire decreases because they may have a poor self-image and feel less confident. Thus, in a couple, affective and sexual communication is very important.
It is almost impossible for two partners to act without a climate of good health. Also, the smooth running of the couple opens the right to the existence of small attentions such as romantic dinners, special evenings, affectionate gifts, etc. There are different marks of love that are more or less true for everyone. It can be to make surprises, to render services, to make positive remarks... 😉
Your couple will more easily tend to want to live this moment of communion if the flame of love and passion burns ardently. 🔥Finding little special attentions will delicately allow you to boost your libido . Most couples who live a life without significant problems are more likely to have an active sexual desire. In this sense, routine is a real brake on the libido of men and women because each partner feels that there is nothing new or exciting in their sex life.
What factors can lower libido?
The libido remains very fluctuating and dependent on the external and internal conditions of each partner. In this sense, certain factors can be responsible for a significant decrease in sexual appetite. Health problems appear in a good position in this sense. Indeed, the existence of health discomforts leads to anxiety which reduces the field of thoughts and drives. When your partner has health problems, he/she often devotes less attention to his sex life and his pleasure. Since the sexual phenomenon comes first from thoughts that end up being translated into concrete action, stress prevents this type of reflection and consequently reduces the libido. In addition, the libido is linked to the physical condition, that is to say that in the face of fatigue, desire gives way. You should know that in these cases, the drop in libido is temporary and ends up being corrected when the inhibition disappears.
In addition, time can be responsible for the decrease in libido. ⏳ The more time passes, the less the libido is felt because the sexual appetite is not infallible. In addition, the accumulation of difficulties in financial matters or at work can impact good mood and therefore libido. Finally, the lack of communication between partners is one of the major causes of the decrease in the desire for sexuality. When each partner does not explain what he expects during the act, what would make him happy, he.she can remain on a feeling of dissatisfaction.
What solutions to increase your libido?
- Essential oils 💧
- Meditation 🧘♂️
- Sleep 💤
- Vibrators 💫
Various solutions exist and can boost the female libido depending on the person. These are only natural solutions to stimulate and increase libido. From yoga to vegetable oil drops to masturbation, you have a range of solutions at your fingertips.
Essential oils: acupuncture, massage, etc....
Essential oils are reputed to be a solution to various ailments. Their property is worth them to boost and energize the body. To this end, certain essential oils are suitable for reducing stress and for relaxing . Made from plant essences, these oils help to minimize psychological and emotional obstacles. Applied directly to the body during a massage, these products can heighten desire and desire. The back and lower abdomen being very erogenous zones, these zones are to be preferred if you want to maximize the benefits of this method. The ankle is the part of the body that contains the acupuncture points related to sexual desire. However, you have to know how to choose your oil because they are not all compatible with pregnant or breastfeeding women, for example.
Attention: before using essential oils, please consult your doctor about possible side effects!
Meditation: release positive vibes
Practiced to free oneself from obstacles and psychological difficulties, this exercise has many benefits on the libido. Indeed, the tendency to cultivate impulses increases tenfold as soon as you are less preoccupied. Thus, the meditation exercise aims to empty your head. When the psychic is prepared, the body follows the movement. Resorting to this solution helps to let go and therefore to be fulfilled in one's sexuality.
Mindfulness meditation allows us to live in the present moment, to be more aware of what surrounds us and to be more attentive. During intercourse, she can be practiced to fully feel the caresses of her partner, the touch of her hands or her tongue on our skin, and fully savor the connection that is taking place at this very moment.
Generally practiced to wake up and get rid of pitfalls, yoga is a powerful libido companion. Many people doubt its impact on sexual desire and pleasure, and often resort to it only in case of physical or mental fatigue. However, the natural benefits of this ancestral practice are multiple: yoga can boost the libido, attract positive energies and prepare the body channels to enhance your body.
For your Yoga sessions, you can use applications like Down Dog (free for students and teachers), Asana Rebel, or even follow sessions on YouTube. 😉
Sleep: sleep well, feel good in your body
Sleep, something so simple, with many benefits!
A sleep cure revitalizes the body and gives hope: cells and neurons regenerate, and it rests the brain. It is recommended to sleep between 7 to 8 hours per night.
Insufficient sleep can have many consequences on the body, including:
- the heart,
- immune system,
- the pain threshold,
- mood, and...
- sexual desire.
A study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that women who sleep the most have a more active sex life than those who don't get enough sleep. Like what, the simplest solutions are the most effective as our grandmothers would say!
For men, sleep keeps testosterone levels high and prevents erectile dysfunction. So gentlemen: to bed! 🛏
Using a vibrator
Indeed, masturbation, exploring one's body, taking time for oneself and the resulting pleasure will participate in the reactivation of the desire for sex. To do this, many vibrators are used to reinvigorate the sexual appetite. However, they do not guarantee you the same practicability and the same options of use. Coco has been designed in such a way that it has a double functionality: vibrations and suction . Favorable to the simultaneous use of these two functionalities, it allows a beautiful self-discovery. It can help improve your libido especially since you can decide the intensity yourself thanks to its two buttons for each function! Unlike conventional models which are stiff and inflexible, Coco is bendable and offers more possibilities. Since the device is in constant contact with your privacy, it is important that it be made with suitable materials that respect your health. This is why we favored medical silicone without any allergens to design Coco! Moreover, it is compatible with water; you can therefore benefit from its benefits without any restrictions. Indeed, water is often used to create a favorable environment to stimulate envy. Thus, choosing a vibrator that can be used underwater is certainly an appropriate solution.
Coco is no longer our only vibrator: since 2022, the Toupie has been added to our masturbation kit, for your greatest pleasure. With 10 levels of intensity, the Toupie will not only stimulate the clitoris, but also stimulate your entire intimacy.
It's a completely different toy to our beloved Coco: it's designed to build excitement step by step, with an emphasis on feel rather than performance. The goal is not to reach an orgasm in 2 seconds but to deeply feel the love we give ourselves and the experience that unfolds. It's about taking time for yourself, getting to know yourself and refocusing on your body, your emotions and your sensations, all at a gentle pace.
Thanks to its small size, its softness and its different levels of vibrations, it is recommended as a first toy for beginners, who want to get started gently.
Impact of menstruation and menopause on libido
The fluctuation of female sexual desire is impacted by two main phases: the period of the menstrual cycle and that of menopause . The link has to do with the timing of the hormone levels in your body. If generally the period of the rules stimulates the sexual drives, it is rather the opposite with the menopause. Indeed, during the cycle, hormonal fluctuation predisposes women to have strong cravings on certain days. Menstruation boosts libido because the female genitalia are lubricated during these days. The cessation of menstruation often involves a drop in appetite and carnal desire. The cause is mainly hormonal.
Ultimately, if you are faced with a sexual desire disorder, you can try these tips to boost your libido and find a fulfilling sexuality.