Your sexual activity is losing momentum and you feel less desire to share this moment with your partner. Sexual activity is impacted by various factors. It can be emotional state, physical health but above all sexual desire. However, don't panic, many natural solutions allow you to regain your normal rhythm of passion and boost female libido .
Definition of libido:
Still referred to as sexual desire , libido remains a fairly misunderstood subject for most people. However, it is a notion that is involved in the life of every adult. Libido – or sexual desire – refers to both psychoanalytic and biological behavior. It is also because of this double facet that many people find it to be a fluctuating notion. In his psychoanalytic approach, libido is an energy that is based on sexual drives . It therefore relates to the thoughts emitted by our mental strength and relating to sexuality. On the other hand, on a biological level, sexual desire is a desire, a need that we satisfy by having intimate relations, alone or accompanied.
Thus, its increase leads to a regular desire to have sex. Conversely, its decline is caused by an absence or little interest in sex. As a concept specific to the human race, libido is present in both men and women. It depends on the emotional state, the relationship between the couple, physical fatigue and finally age.
Sexual desire disorder: what explanations?
1. Medicinal sources
If you feel that the flame of your sexual appetite is being restricted, various factors can justify sexual desire disorders . First, the problem may be from drug sources . Indeed, taking antidepressants, in most cases, tends to reduce libido and sexual desire. Known to fight depression, these medications work against sadness. These products therefore aim to improve the mood of the person who consumes them but can end up affecting the sexual appetite .
2. Contraception pills
Second, birth control pills can increase sexual desire disorders in women. If you think that these tablets only protect you from pregnancy, know that they also influence your libido and therefore your sexuality. In reality, reduced sexual activity obviously means less chance of getting pregnant. The pills protect you but at the same time reduce your attraction to sexual activity. Hormones are largely responsible for sexual drive. Thus, their regulation through pills leads to a loss of natural sexual desires. To ensure that a medication will not produce undesirable effects on your sexual habits and rhythm, be sure to read the instructions and, if necessary, discuss it with your doctor or a sexologist.
3. Doubts and thoughts
Furthermore, doubt, stress, anxiety and erroneous thoughts justify sexual desire disorders. Sexual desire is first and foremost closely linked to our impulses, our thoughts. So, the more you feed your imagination, the more you will be driven by the desire to materialize your desires. It's like everything, thinking about certain things starts the brain machine. If you never think about it, nothing happens.
As such, cultivating negative thoughts will lead to a lower level of interest in communing with your partner. You should therefore try to avoid ideas that tend to reduce your self-esteem. Avoid for example “am I going to orgasm” or “am I not going to annoy my partner”. These ideas block you and prevent you from experiencing the passion of the present moment. Especially since this is a special moment, you must avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Fight the idea that your performance determines your partner's idea of you because anxiety and fear reduce libido and above all because this is not performance, once again. The search for orgasm at all costs has no point if you do not enjoy the moment with your partner and will have the opposite effects to the initial quest for pleasure.
What is the difference between male and female libido?
This question comes up often and sometimes leads to confusion. In reality, there is no real difference between female and male libido.
- Both of these human genders emit impulses and have desires that cultivate natural sexual desire. For this reason, both men and women can have a drop or increase in libido . In women, the period of menstruation or that of ovulation are considered to stimulate sexual desire . This reality is linked to the level of estrogen in the blood because this hormone will increase desires and erotic drives. In men, testosterone is the main cause of sexual desires.
- Age also remains an element of difference between male and female libido. Indeed, for men, the period of puberty marks the awakening of libido and testosterone, and remains constant until the age of 50. It is after the golden wedding that sexual desire gradually declines. As for ladies, arousal can occur much later and may or may not be interrupted or diminished as menopause approaches.
Contrary to popular belief, men do not have a more active natural sexual desire than women due to their biological conformation. They have no more erotic thoughts than women; and their desire is formed in the same way, through the release of hormones . They may also have periods where libido is down, and that's normal!
It is also wrongly believed that women have a more often controlled libido and are less interested than men. However, sexologists are clear, this is not the case and whatever the sex, the libido is almost similar. It is specific to each person.
The impact of a couple's good health on libido
Far too often ignored, the good health of the couple is the centerpiece that impacts libido. You cannot consider sharing a moment of intimacy with your partner if the current and conditions are not favorable. Many sexologists maintain that to have a satisfied libido , the state of the relationship between the couple is determining. For good reason, the sexual connection is first and foremost an activity requiring two partners. In this sense, one's discomfort or lack of openness to sexuality will be a major obstacle. So, you need to set up an ideal and favorable context to stimulate sexual desire and without making any effort your libido will be boiling.
Sometimes women's desire decreases because they may have a poor self-image and feel less confident. Thus, as a couple, emotional and sexual communication is very important.
It is almost impossible for two partners to take action without a climate of good health. Also, the good life of the couple opens the right to the existence of little touches such as romantic dinners, special evenings, affectionate gifts, etc. There are different brands of love that are more or less true for everyone. This can be to make surprises, to provide services, to make positive remarks... 😉
Your couple will more easily tend to want to experience this moment of communion if the flame of love and passion burns ardently. 🔥Finding little special touches will gently help you boost your libido . Most couples who live a life without significant problems are more likely to have an active sexual desire. In this sense, routine is a real brake on the libido of men and women because each partner believes that there is no longer anything new or exciting in their sex life.
What are the factors that can decrease libido?
The libido remains very fluctuating and dependent on the external and internal conditions of each partner. In this sense, certain factors may be responsible for a significant decrease in sexual appetite. Health problems appear to be in a good position in this sense. Indeed, the existence of health problems leads to anxiety which reduces the scope of thoughts and impulses. When your partner has health difficulties, he/she often devotes less attention to their sex life and pleasure. Since the sexual phenomenon first comes from thoughts that eventually translate into concrete action, stress prevents this type of thinking and consequently reduces libido. In addition, libido is linked to physical condition, meaning that when faced with fatigue, desire gives way. You should know that in these cases the drop in libido is temporary and eventually corrects itself when the inhibition disappears.
Furthermore, the weather can be responsible for the drop in libido. ⏳ The more time passes, the less the libido is felt because the sexual appetite is not infallible. In addition, the accumulation of difficulties in financial matters or at work can impact good mood and therefore libido. Finally, the lack of communication between partners is one of the major causes of the reduction in sexual desire. When each partner does not explain what they expect during the act, what would please them, they can be left with a feeling of dissatisfaction.
What solutions to increase your libido?
- Essential oils 💧
- Meditation 🧘♂️
- Sleep 💤
- Vibrators 💫
Various solutions exist and can boost female libido depending on the person. These are only natural solutions to stimulate and increase libido. From yoga to vegetable oil drops to masturbation, you have a range of solutions at your fingertips.
Essential oils: acupuncture, massage, etc....
Essential oils are known to be a solution to various ailments. Their property allows them to boost and energize the body. For this purpose, certain essential oils are suitable for reducing stress and relaxing . Made from plant essences, these oils help minimize psychological and emotional obstacles. Applied directly to the body during a massage, these products can enhance desire and desire. The back and lower abdomen being very erogenous zones, these zones should be favored if you want to maximize the benefits of this method. The ankle is the part of the body that contains the acupuncture points linked to sexual desire. However, you need to know how to choose your oil because they are not all compatible with pregnant or breastfeeding women, for example.
Warning: before using essential oils, please consult your doctor regarding possible side effects!
Meditation: releasing positive vibes
Practiced to free oneself from obstacles and psychological difficulties, this exercise has many benefits on the libido. Indeed, the tendency to cultivate impulses increases tenfold as soon as you are less preoccupied. Thus, the meditation exercise aims to clear your head. When the psychic is prepared, the body follows suit. Using this solution helps you let go and therefore be fulfilled in your sexuality.
Mindfulness meditation allows us to live in the present moment, be more aware of what is around us and be more attentive. During intercourse, it can be practiced to fully feel the caresses of your partner, the contact of their hands or their tongue on our skin, and fully savor the connection that is taking place at that very moment.
Generally practiced to awaken and get rid of pitfalls, yoga is a powerful accompaniment to libido. Many people doubt its impact on sexual desire and pleasure, and often only resort to it in cases of physical or mental fatigue. However, the natural benefits of this ancestral practice are multiple: yoga helps boost libido, attract positive energies and prepare the body channels to enhance your body.
For your Yoga sessions, you can use applications like Down Dog (free for students and teachers), Asana Rebel, or even follow sessions on YouTube. 😉
Sleep: sleep well, feel good in your body
Sleeping, something so simple, with many benefits!
A sleep cure revitalizes the body and hope: the cells and neurons regenerate, and the brain rests. It is recommended to sleep between 7 to 8 hours per night.
Insufficient sleep can have many consequences on the body, including:
- the heart,
- immune system,
- the pain threshold,
- mood, and…
- sexual desire.
A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that women who sleep more have a more active sex life than those who don't get enough sleep. So, the simplest solutions are the most effective, as our grandmothers would say!
For men, sleep helps keep testosterone levels high and prevents erectile dysfunction. So gentlemen: off to bed! 🛏
Using a vibrator
Indeed, masturbation, exploring your body, taking time for yourself and the pleasure that results from it will contribute to the reactivation of the desire for sex. To do this, many vibrators are used to revitalize the sexual appetite. However, they do not guarantee you the same practicability and the same options of use. Coco was designed so that it has dual functionality: vibration and suction . Favorable for the simultaneous use of these two functionalities, it allows for great self-discovery. This can help improve your libido especially since you can decide the intensity yourself thanks to its two buttons for each function! Unlike conventional models which are stiff and inflexible, Coco is foldable and offers more possibilities. Since the device is in permanent contact with your privacy, it is important that it is made with materials that are suitable and respectful of your health. This is why we favored medical silicone without any allergens to design Coco! Furthermore, it is compatible with water; you will therefore be able to benefit from its benefits without any restriction. Indeed, water is often used to create a favorable environment to stimulate desire. Therefore, choosing a vibrator that can be used underwater is definitely a suitable solution.
Coco is no longer our only vibrator: since 2022, the Spinning Top has completed our masturbation kit, for your greatest pleasure. With 10 intensity levels, the Spinning Top will stimulate not only the clitoris, but also stimulates your entire private area.
It's a completely different toy from our beloved Coco: she's designed to build excitement step by step, with an emphasis on sensation rather than performance. The goal is not to reach an orgasm in 2 seconds but to deeply feel the love we give to each other and the experience that takes place. It's about taking time for yourself, getting to know yourself and refocusing on your body, your emotions and your sensations, all at a gentle pace.
Thanks to its small size, its softness and its different vibration levels, it is recommended as a first toy for beginners, who want to get started gently
Impact of periods and menopause on libido
The fluctuation of female sexual desire is impacted by two main phases: the period of the menstrual cycle and that of menopause . The link lies in the timing of the hormone levels in your body. If the period of menstruation generally stimulates sexual urges, it is quite the opposite during menopause. Indeed, during the cycle, hormonal fluctuation predisposes women to have strong cravings on certain days. Periods boost libido because the female genital tract is lubricated during these days. The cessation of menstruation often involves a drop in appetite and carnal desire. The cause is mainly hormonal.
Ultimately, if you are faced with a sexual desire disorder, you can try these tips to boost your libido and regain fulfilling sexuality.