A definition of libido
When you open a dictionary to look for a definition of libido, you inevitably come across a reference to (not) our old friend Freud . We can't really cut it, because it was he who took up the Latin term from philosophy to designate the sexual drive in his psychoanalytic work.
Drive, energy, instinct are the expressions that come back to describe human sexual desire. Beyond the excitement itself, our sexual appetite also includes our fantasies, our quest for a sexual partner or our beliefs related to sexuality.
It is a complex tangle governed by both psychological and biological conditions and hormones including testosterone, dopamine or oxytocin.
When we talk about a decrease in libido or even an absence of desire, we use the term libidown when we are cool and anaphrodisia when we want to shine in society. ✨
Debunking the constant libido myth
How many times have we heard that men always want because it's in their nature? And how many times have we associated a low libido with our worth as an individual?
According to a survey conducted by the Emancipated platform, 41% of women surveyed are ashamed of their libido.
As sex sells, being sexualized and always wanting has become an injunction conveyed by the media and advertisements. Add to that pornography as a resource for sex education and we can say goodbye to a healthy relationship with fluctuating libido.
The lack of desire amplifies the sexual charge : you have to have it to not be frigid , but not to overflow with it so as not to be a victim of slutshaming . Thanks, but no thanks. 🙄
Just like our preferences, our sexual desire fully belongs to us . It is unique and therefore has no use being compared to that of others.
As we will discover in the next section, it is subject to a myriad of intersecting and interacting factors .
Moreover, it is entirely possible to be asexual and to experience little or no desire for the person who attracts us. An asexual person does not see the point of having sex and can spend their entire life without sex without suffering from it. If this is a question you have ever asked yourself, we highly recommend this website. 🔍
The different factors that influence desire
Primary or secondary anaphrodisia?
According to sexologists, lack of desire falls into two categories.
The first, primary anaphrodisia is more related to physiological, organic or psychological reasons .
Conversely, a lack of secondary sexual interest rather brings together causes related to the person's environment . For example, it can be a lack of communication with his or her partner, the consequences of a surgical operation or even the appearance of organic disorders.
Let's take a look at the main factors that influence libido.👇
Hormone production fluctuates during the different phases of the cycle. They influence our desire or not to procreate and therefore our sexual appetite.
Want to go further on the subject? That's good, we wrote an article that details the links between the menstrual cycle and libido . 🩸
When we talk about the role of hormones and our desire, we often fail to address the drastic changes caused by menopause. At Puissant, this is not something that we want to relegate to the background. Here is an article where we have chosen to deepen the subject.
Under the very broad umbrella of mental health, we group moods, self-esteem, and more complex disorders .
The link between our thoughts and our desire is too generally minimized to reduce the sexual appetite to a mystical and mechanical alchemy.
We have already talked about the effects of stress on libido . They are similar when a mental illness causes a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Treatments and medications
A sudden drop in your libido can be caused by the introduction of new treatments.
Antidepressants or even certain contraceptive pills are known to considerably modify the level of desire.
The formulas regulate hormones by decreasing dopamine as well as serotonin levels.
The couple's environment
Whatever the form of your couple or the nature of your relationship, the quality of the exchange and trust with your partner influences your desire. 👩❤️👩
Poor communication, different expectations or even the pressure of marital duty can cause friction in the couple and destroy self-esteem.
Cultivating an environment of trust and sincere communication between partners is a first step to boosting your libido.
The list of factors that impact our desire is long, we have made an overview of the most common reasons for a drop in libido. The multiple components of our libido , whether biological, neuroendocrine or psychoaffective, underline the complexity and uniqueness of our desire . We alone are capable of taming it. This is why it is crucial to learn to embrace the variations of one's own desire during our lifetime. By exploring what sets us on fire and what causes low libido, we regain power over our bodies and our sexual appetite . Thus, we identify the injunctions and received ideas to fully focus on our definition of sexual fulfillment. 😉